Did anyone almost back out of surgery?

Hi there,

Since I am a lightweight  215lb @5'7  I have heard lots of comments like "why would you risk your life for a few pounds" etc.  I have only told my hubby and Mom and my Mom is totally freaked out.  Every time I see her she says "you look good I don't understand what your doing" .  I am starting to get the feeling that perhaps I am being absurd by thinking this is a good idea.  I would love to get to 140-150 and stay there.  That will bring me happiness (I think)  anyways..  Just trying to figure out what to do.

Karla

Karla, I am 5'4", and had a BMI of 35.2...once I decided I wanted WLS, I wasn't gonna back out.

I didn't have much to lose but I have lost it and regained it over and over. I could LOSE it, I could not keep it off...NOW I am keeping it off.

Gently tell your mom that this is your decision done in cooperation with your doctor and is no longer up for discussion...next time she brings it up, ask her about the weather...keep changing the subject til she gets the message. YOU DO THIS FOR YOU, NOT for her.

There are a lot of factors that may play into whether or not the risk of WLS (which is extremely low, especially for otherwise pretty healthy patients) is worth it.  Your age, your comorbidities, your surgery choice, etc.  If you believe with all your heart, from past experience or observances of others, that dieting and exercise alone probably won't result in long term weight loss, and you have confidence, not only in your surgeon but your surgery of choice, then second guessing your decision is normal but it shouldn't cause you to stay up nights.  If you really feel like it isn't worth the risk or you don't think you could live with the rules and side effects of whatever surgery you have chosen then maybe you should step back and give yourself more time to research WLS and the surgery of your choice.  I'm not saying you shouldn't have some misgivings but they should not be greater then the certainty that you are making the best choice for yourself and your future health.  I always say when in doubt leave it out.  It is easier to reschedule surgery for a later date when the decision feels right then it would be to do anything about it after the fact.

One thing that concerns me is your statement that weighing 140 - 150 would bring you happiness.  It may bring you better health and smaller clothing sizes but happiness is an inside job and expecting a surgery or a specific weight to be the road to happiness is a sure fire way to make yourself miserable when your expectations aren't met.  You may be happier about your appearance and the way you feel but it won't make your life overall any happier then it is right now.  You can do that right now without losing a pound.  I'm not saying I know the key to happiness but I can say with certainty that a smaller body size is not it.  It may feel good for a while but it will lose it's novelty and become your new normal after a while and you will still have the same issues you've always had.

I think I meant happiness with my weight.  I am usually a happy person, just mad at myself all of the time for no being able to stop yo yo ing.  I have lost the same 30 -50 lbs many times and that makes me unhappy with my weight and some what ashamed.  Thank you for bringing that up though.  I guess if weight brought a person happiness all of the beautiful people of the world would be ecstatic and they are not!   I feel I am solid in my decision then someone will insert their doubts.

Okay, that makes sense.  I was just remembering the first time I lost weight and got thin for the first time since childhood.  I was about 20 and I had all these expectations that life would be perfect now, just like I pictured it was for all the thin, attractive people out there.  Then someone reminded me that there were a lot of thin people in mental hospitals.  That really opened my eyes.  Now what helps my happiness is being healthy, or at least healthier then I had been.  That is one expectation that I haven't been disappointed about.

I had a 100 lbs to lose and a lot of health issues to deal with.  I wanted my life back and I got it.  No meds, able to do all the things I love. 

But is it easy, no.  It is a life long challenge to stay at goal.  It is a tool that helps, but it isn't a magic bullet.  I knew that for me, there was no other way. 

Read and give it lots of thought but then follow what you know is best for you.

Yup - in fact the morning of surgery I put two slips of paper into a bowl.  One said "no surgery" and the other said "get surgery".  I offered it up to the powers-that-be and said "guide me, please".   And I pulled out the one that said "get surgery"  :-) 

I call this my "bowl of truth" and I use it to get my ego out of the way and let my higher power do the guiding.  Works like a charm :-) 

Absolutely NOT! I could not get on that surgery table fast enough. I was scared to death something was going to happen to KEEP me from getting the surgery! 

I had more to lose than you do,but it is not only about LOSING,it is about maintaining the loss as well.  I could not maintain the loss for any length of. Time,which is. Where I hear you saying you are finding yourself. 

I have maintained my 115 # loss for nearly 4 years and I would have. Weight loss surgery EVERY month if that is what it took to continue keeping the lost weight off.