11 years since my first WLS-long- XPosted

So, it's been 11 years since I first underwent WLS.  I stopped observing the date after about the 4 year when I was regaining significant amounts of weight and I felt like a failure.  After my revision I observed that date but last year, when it was 10 years later I realized that even though I failed my first WLS it still was an important date to remember for several reasons. First, it was the day my anatomy changed forever.  Ever since Oct. 28, 2002 I have never had my normal internal configuration.   Second, I want to remember that no matter what surgery, no matter how far out from the surgery, having WLS does not guarantee that I will never be obese or even morbidly obese again.

When I had my first WLS I truly thought I would never be even overweight again.  I choose the DS because of the excellent stats but I failed to accept that the DS was like all other WLS, a tool to help me control my weight, not a cure for my overeating.

At first I really thought I found the answer to my prayers.  I was able to eat whatever I wanted and still lose weight.  I made no changes to my eating habits.  I didn't think I had to.  I choose to believe that the DS was fool proof and that even I, the compulsive overeater that I was, couldn't screw it up.  I was wrong. I heard what I wanted to hear and believed what I wanted to believe.  I'm not saying that there weren't people saying that this was the answer or that there weren't people saying that they could eat what they wanted and not gain weight.  There were and those were the stories I choose to listen to.  There were others who cautioned against eating freely but I turned a deaf ear.  Why should I listen when my experience was that I could eat what I wanted. That lasted about 2 years and then the regain started.  At first I told myself that it was the normal regain that happens to everyone.  It never occurred to me that I should head it off at the pass.  I thought my weight would stabilize and I would effortlessly maintain a normal weight.  

The first year I gained about 15 lbs, which brought me to a good weight since I had went a little low to begin with.  The next year brought another 10 or 15 lbs, still within a normal range.  At 5 years out I still felt successful although I had regained about 30 lbs from my lowest.  I still looked normal and my BMI was close to the normal range.  But after the 5th year the weight started coming on fast and furious.  When my weight crept closer to the dreaded 200 mark I realized that I had to do something.  You think?  I stopped eating refined carbs and snacking but my meals were still large.  I had a very large sleeve and by that point I could eat as much as I could before I had surgery. I was surprised to find that my weight loss was slower then even before surgery.  I thought that will the added benefit of malabsorption the weight would just fall off but it didn't.  I fought for every pound and after losing about 30 lbs I couldn't lose any more without cutting back even more then I wanted to so I accepted my weight and was fine with it although I was eating pretty much like I did before surgery if I didn't want to gain weight.  That is when the light bulb finally went off.  If I wanted to lose weight and keep it off after surgery I had to do exactly what I did before I had surgery.  The surgery was only supposed to help me do that, it wasn't designed to do it for me.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to maintain that way of eating forever.  With my larger sleeve I was still hungry all the time and I still craved the refined carbs and the day came that I convinced myself that I could now manage to eat those things in moderation now that I had WLS.  I couldn't and before long my eating was as out of control as it ever way.  In about 7 months I had regained about 70 lbs.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but other things were happening to me physically that made my quality of life unbearable.  I was fatigued to the point of not being functional.  I couldn't even get dressed most days.  My thinking was very foggy.  I became totally apathetic.  I didn't care about anything or anyone.  It was like I didn't have the energy to think.  I had constant diarrhea and my gas and stools very horrible smelling.  I thought that was normal for my new body.  I had no idea that the kinds of food I was eating was making things worse.  Even when I cut out refined carbs it was just as bad.  I learned it was because I had chronic intestinal bacterial overgrowth.  I knew I had it earlier because I had become very sick with reactive arthritis and dermatitis and I was found out it was do to the toxins attacking my joints.  I got better after a course of antibiotics and I found that when I took Flagyl my symptoms got a lot better but eventually my doctor wouldn't prescribe it any more.  For a while I bought it online but then I became worried that I would become antibiotic resistant so I stopped taking them.  I loaded up on probiotics but it didn't do anything to help. It go so bad that I went back to my surgeon and begged for a reversal.  I figured I had all the problems from WLS and not a single benefit.  I was told that I couldn't be reversed but I could be revised so I wouldn't malabsorb so much and I agreed.  My surgeon also suggested I have my sleeve revised to a RNY pouch and I went along with that as well.  I was afraid that if I could regain 100 lbs with malabsorption I could really do damage without it.  

My surgeon warned me that I probably wouldn't lose any weight but at that point I didn't care.  I learned there were worse things in the world then being fat and I was living it.  I just was hoping not to gain any more weight. The day I had my revision was the last day I had the chronic diarrhea and the smell was gone as well.  I'm not saying my **** don't stink but it doesn't smell any worse then it did before my surgeon and now when I pass gas have the fear I used to that someone would say something. My guess is that whatever my surgeon did with my first surgery that made me prone to the bacterial overgrowth, he undid with the revision because that hasn't been an issue since then.

So, 11 years ago I had my first WLS and about 3 1/2 years ago I had my revision and I am grateful that I was able to learn from my own mistakes and make the best out of my situation. I used to opportunity of my post op experience to decarb since I had to go through the liquid phase and then the soft food phase.  I also was happy to have the cravings lifted.  My surgeon removed my remnant stomach and although I wasn't thrilled to learn that I did find that I almost never experience hunger and when I did it is a totally different experience then it used to be.  It can be a blessing or a curse sometimes, like a person who doesn't experience pain.  I have to schedule my meals and eat by the clock.  I like it because I can make plans and do things without worrying about what I will be eating, where I will be eating, will there be enough and all the other things I used to be obsessed with.  I pretty much eat what I want except I totally avoid sugar, gluten and refined carbs.  I have found that I can eat very well without those things and by not eating them I don't want them.  Before whenever I ate those things I always wanted more.  No matter how hard I tried to eat them in moderation it was a losing battle.  I have found it is much easier not to eat them then it is to try to stop eating them.  

My weight is stable for the first time in my life.  I have never been the same weight from one year to the next.  That to me is real success.  Losing weight is the easy part.  I have done it many, many times.  This is the first time I have kept it off for any length of time. Okay, I have gone on way longer then I planned to, or wanted to.  If you want to know any more feel free to ask me.  I am including the obligatory before and after.  The before was the night before my first WLS so it was Oct. 27, 2002.  The after is from a few weeks ago.  

Your story is always amazing, Tazz. Thanks for sharing it.

--gina

Thanks for sharing, I like to read these reminders that it is up to us and our choices.  The RNY helps with portion control but won't do the work for me!  I'm still in the honeymoon and nervous about regain!!!

Thank you for posting this!  It's a story that every newbie and anyone just getting to maintenance needs to read and re-read.   Harsh reminder that surgery isn't the magic bullet, no matter which one you choose to get, and that lifestyle changes and permanent changes to the way we eat are going to be required.  

Kudos to you for doing the hard work to get back to a healthy weight!

Thanks for sharing.  I've always enjoyed reading your posts as the advice you give is oh-so-true.

Congrats on being successful!  Maintenance is hard - you're showing it CAN be done!

You are doing great at maintenance now and always inspire me.  Thanks for sharing your story with all of us!!

Linda

Thanks for sharing... 

Thanks so much from sharing your story!  I know it has been a rough ride for you and I have appreciated your honesty and advice over the years.  Thanks for  your warning that WLS does not guarantee that we will never be obese again.  We can NEVER forget that! 

You look GREAT in your recent picture!