feeling really low today...

I have severe family drama and I just want to get out of it.  You know walk away... let them fend for themselves.  The only person I would take with me would be my 17 yr old Son.  He seems to be the only one who indifferent to the drama flowing around me.  He would be a great companion on a new journey because he is at the beginning of his own journey in life.

I am the primary money maker in my household and yet I am not the boss in my own home.  My elderly parents live with me and they insist on treating me like I am still a child.  (hello in my 50's)  I so desperately need my own place so I can be my own boss.  I try to extricate myself but keep getting sucked back in.  My long term relationship (8 years) with my live in boyfriend has had enough of our life with my parents and gave me the ultimatum last night to either put my parents in a small apartment somewhere (which they are completely against) or he is moving out.  So... I guess I am going to let him move out (secret relief ... sshhh if you tell anyone I said that I will deny it).  lol 

I too want to move out and let my parents live with what is left of their independence.  It will be most difficult financially.  But if it is just me and my son and occasionally my daughter (who by the way doesn't like to visit because of the "others" in the household) I think we can swing it... maybe...

So I am very seriously contemplating quitting my family and taking my two kids and hauling ass.  wow  just to spell it out makes me shutter.  Should I?  Or shouldn't I?  I guess I will keep asking myself that question until myself gives me the answer.

Thanks for listening.

We had to deal with this with my father and my husbands mother. They were both put in assisted living and luckily they are both able to pay for it.

There is no way in HELL they would ever live with us. I would get my own place for myself and my son and check on hem when necessary but I would have my own life.

Yeah and let the live in go too . Who needs him?
Gl

First question - how are you doing physically and emotionally with all this?  You need to take care of yourself.  If that means letting the BF go, and getting your parents someplace else ot live... then do it.  

Is this your house or theirs?  Are you renting/own?  The reason I ask that is because it all depends on who's name the house is in.  If it's in yours and your parents won't leave... then you have something there to work with.  If it's theres... then you will need to find someplace else to go....

Good luck - only you can make this decision - but you need to do what's right for you.

(((HUGS)))

 

Thanks for the Hugs Jody...  I am emotionally spent and have pretty much shut down. I am currently at work so I am getting a bit of distraction, but I know I have to face it all again when I get home (and then some -- more property storm damaged that I woke up to this AM {{you know.. when it rains it pours...well trees fall over as well}}). It all came to a head last night after brewing for many years.  In other words, I finally yelled back at my father and told him (well got in his face) that I WILL NOT BE YELLED AT LIKE THIS AGAIN...DO YOU HEAR ME???.  Well he really backed down after that (my first real time EVER standing up to him).

My BF was trying to stand up for me but he ultimately got pissed at me because he feels I caved again... like so many times before... I have to honestly say if our roles were reversed I would NOT LIVE like he is.  I don't blame him one bit for wanting out.  Like I said, I want out myself.  It just doesn't help me that he gets so frustrated with the whole situation and is really out of place trying to take a hand in with my elder father.  So for my bf's own sake he NEEDS to be out of this situation as much as I do.

And yes, this is my house... in my name alone.  I own it, pay the mortgage, insurance, taxes, upkeep and all the other stuff that home owners are required to deal with.  To make matters more difficult, it is my fathers 100 year old family home.

I just want out...  I am sure I will make the right decision for me... but I am also very certain that others are going to be hurt along the way.   And that is what I will have to live with.  

What a position to find yourself in. I'm sorry to hear this is causing such emotional distress. Hang in there. You'll do what's best for you.

Thanks for your support Lauren.  It really means a lot to me.

My MIL lives with us about half the year, in the winter.  She cant take care of her house in the winter and is prone to falling or slipping.  I cant imagine it being year round :(    It will work out  HUGS

Candy

Thanks for the hugs Candy...

DH's mom lived with us when the kids were small until we could get her in public housing.  We were still responsible for her, she was disabled but she wasn't under our roof.  It is really hard for multi generations to live together but the financial situation many of us find ourselves in make it necessary. 

I don't do well with drama.  I would have to find a why to make it end.

Best of luck.  I'm sure you will make the right decisions. 

Thanks for the vote of confidence