Doing Everything Right

I have been private with my journey, which started in February.  After reading many comments I decided to share with my adult children (in their 20s) my plan for surgery May 20th.  I was asked by one of my boys, if I am doing everything correct now, i.e. eating, exercising, why do I still need the surgery?  This question has bothered me quite a bit and my first thought was, because I need the extra tool to help me continue this journey.  I have been overweight for years, can loose weight okay, but gain it back quickly.  I still fear failure and this is the main reason for my surgery.  Any thoughts or comments of your journey would be appreciated.

 

That's main stream thinking and possibly some fear coming from your son. He just doesn't understand. You can do everything absolutely correctly and still need help. Many of us have screwed up our metabolisms or have insulin resistance. We need more help than the average bear. Hang in there and do what is best for you, not best for other people.

--gina

I think I always did a pretty good job choosing food and eating right, but I ate enough for my 6'4" DH, not my 4'11" me.  I could lose to a point but then would gain it back and then some.  Heck, I could gain it all back now if I wasn't diligent about everything I eat.  But I got a second chance at life and health by having surgery and it was oh so worth it.  Only you can determine if it is worth it for you but my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.  I am healthier than I have been in years and plan on staying that way.  I wanted to get my life back, and I did.

What if you had a cancer diagnosis and was seeking treatment for that,would he still want to know if you were doing everything correctly? would he ask you if you were doing everything correctly,why get cancer treatment?

 

Your son,like many people,is uneducated about morbid obesity and the huge health risk it is.  Morbid obesity is a medical condition just like cancer or heart problems. would he advise you to not seek treatment for your heart and just go on doing things "correctly"?

 

Of course,if doing things correctly worked ffor us,non of us would have ever had WLS. We are looking for another cure BECAUSE doing things correctly DIDN'T work for us.

 

perhaps you could take him to a dr visit with you so he could have his questions answered and maybe began to feel better about YOUR decision.

 

Tell him you want to be around and healthy enough to play with his children when they come along.

 

It is really your and only your decision to make. Make it for you and not for anyone else. they will come around when they see the vast improvement in your health and quality of life.

 

GL

Thanks for your comments.  I went into this not completely sure, but as I progressed through the Doctors checklist -  support group, nutritionist, cardiologist, psyche, etc, I gained confidence that surgery is right for me.  Just needing a bit of support.  Thank you.

It is okay to second guess yourself. We've all done it from time to time.

Diet & Exercise fails 90-100% of the time. WLS works about 70% of the time. Really that says it all.

As to the reasons why this is true, we're still trying to figure that out, but the main reason is that surgery repairs what is wrong with our bodies including giving us hunger control. It's impossible to keep the weight off if you are starving all the time and our bodies fight us to gain the weight back. With WLS our body's setpoint changes and our bodies stop fighting us to be fat.

Hang in there. People around you will be concerned and express worries. Have your facts to be able to educate those who will know and ask them to be supportive.

Maria

My husband who I love dearly did not understand at all until after I had the surgery and he saw how well I felt and how healthy I was eating. He was initially concerned about complications, but was supportive of my decisions.  When your family sees the good post op results effecting all aspects of your life they will 'get it'   There are alot of WLS horror stories floating around out there.I'm embarassed to admit I didn't tell him anything till I was part way through the initial steps;  I think his feelings were hurt that I didn't share my plan with him from the beginning.But now HE  is  shrinking out of his clothes and is thrilled.Our family eating habits have completely changed.

My tool gives me extra help, it does not do it for me.  If I chose I could eat anything, but with the decrease in hunger and the knowledge that i would either hurt or be nauseated if I overindulge  I can stick to my plan.  Plus, most drop quite a bit of weight initially so you SEE results and that is a motivator.  I am learning good habits for the future when my capacity goes up and hunger may return.

I am not shy about telling people I had WLS.  Most are positive in their reaction (at least to my face LOL)

Congratulations to you on incorporating correct eating and exercising pre-op.  That will benefit you greatly post op.  Plus any weight you lose pre op will speed you to goal!

 

Anne

 

My husband and oldest daughter are the only ones who know. I will tell my two youngest(11 and 13)the day before the surgery. I just don't want to share my personal journey or explain the reasons I came to it. My best wishes to you. I will be joining the ranks on 6-4-13.