Games we play MENTAL games that is!

So much of this journey is a mental game within ourself.  I never understood how the physical changes can happen on the outside and the inside still thinks "I'm Fat"!   I went out to dinner last night in a size 10 dress and kept feeling fat.   I look in the mirror and see the parts that still need lots of help and forget where I came from.  But then I will catch a glimpsed reflection in a window and think "wow I am getting thin, I look normal"

I don't know if this is common, but very little was said about the mental side of weight loss by my surgeon.  I wasn't prepared for the feelings and confusion this journey causes.  My insurance didnt require any pyscological test so  I wasn't aware of how strange it is.  Then there is the mental game others play with us:  I saw my sister while I was dressed up for dinner and she was saying that I now weigh the same as she does. She is almost 20 yrs older than I (she is in her 60s and I am 40s)  am and 2 inches taller.  In the next breath she was saying how thin I was and I should stop losing.  Go figure,  I told her she is taller and does she feel thin at this weight and she said no she is still heavy BUT I am to thin.  That makes no sense!!  I am shorter and younger and still need to lose.   Rant over

Candy the mental aspect is often not dealt with enough imo. Even for those of us who had to have psych clearance. If you would of told me at 117 lbs in a size 2 or 3 that I would feel fat I would have laughed at you, but all I see is this excess fat in my waist. while I feel skinnier than I was (obviously) I still don't feel skinny regardless of how many people tell me I am. I see it more in photos than I do in the mirror but I have to look at my body all day long and all I see is this darn stomach!

The mental game by others I've determined is their own hang up with body issues they have with themselves. My MIL told me at Christmas to stop losing as I looked emaciated, her only reference of me though was as an obese person. She didn't see me when I graduated high school weighing 103 pounds, or at 9 mo preggers with my oldest daughter weighing 128 lbs. She also sees her own weight issues i'm sure. When my husband was getting sober 8-9 years ago she was my biggest battle. She told him he wasn't an alcoholic and he should be able to have a drink with her if he wanted to. I realized quickly she did this because if she said he was she would have to admit she was one as well (she is). It was never about him, or about me, it was always about having to face herself.

People get comfortable with the role we play in their life and when we change it they have to face it, it's not always comfortable.

Hang in there and keep doing YOU! Make yourself healthier and happier and let others land where they may. If you continue to have issues with how you see yourself you may want to talk to a therapist. I saw one weekly the first 3 mo. I'm about to start going back to one as I don't want this to turn into an eating disorder and want to learn to love all I've accomplished!

Thanks for taking time to reply.  I also see this darn stomach when I look in the mirror, and eventually I will want a panni removal.  

The thing about my sister is she has known me my whole life of course.  She has seen me thin and thick.  I do think you hit the nail on the head, it is about her not me.  Maybe she doesnt want the fat sister to weigh less than she does?  Or maybe she got used to me at 250 and now I do look to skinny to her.  Who knows, its just irritating! 

Most of our family and friends knew us when we were fat and that is how they are comfortable with us.  Look around, more than half the population is over weight so that looks pretty normal to most folks.  So when we are normal BMI, we look too thin to many of our family and friends.  I know I did go through a time when I looked pretty guant but I am glad I got that thin because bounce back has me at bordering on overweight again. 

Bounce back scares the hell out of me.  I want to lose more while in the honeymoon because bounce seems to happen to most.