Scholarship Applications ... Public Art .. not always success on the first try

I'm having a bit of a hard time .  I know its emotionally juvenile but I always figured that when i finally TRIED everything would come up roses ..  I'd be a runaway success .. I'd handle the politics like a champ ... everyone would recognize how wonderful my work was .. etc.  Of course that's NOT the case . 

 

Very often its a committee that decides .. and they decide WRONG .. or they decide to support  the person who's been beggin' em longest rather than the most worthy or most talented ... or a person with great connections and support .  

 

The real question is do I have the sand and wherewithal and passion to hang in there while I feel like a failure ?  I am NOT SURE .  

You're a fighter...it's part of who you are.  I just can't even imagine you giving up on something you set your mind to. I know you love your art and will keep doing what you love but it's so hard when the rewards don't come as you expect or hope. ((hugs))

--gina

Set your own goals.  I compete with my ponies against world champion competitiors.  Yes, they win according to the scoreboard.  But I set my own goals.  If I met my goals, I win.  If not, I know what I need to work on. 

Years and years ago when I sent work to juried shows (tapestries, rugs), I found if I showed under Price Story, I got accepted when if I showed under my first name, Carrie Sue Story, I didn't.  There was a clear gender bias back then.  We are talking in the 70's.  change your name and see if that helps.

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald  

You have to remember art is very subjective, you could show the same piece to three different juries and come up with three very different scores. As a photographer I used to feel defeated and let down by some results. Finally I asked myself why and for who am I creating the art. I decided I was creating for myself and as long I was happy and continuing to improve I was a success. I don't want to lose myself or my style to gain approval ov critics and have my art the same as everyone elses. Hang in there and follow the passion!

Thanks guys for the kind support .  I don't exactly feel defeated yet , just exhausted and frustrated right now .  Everything seems to take a lot longer ( and be a lot more expensive ) than it should .  

 

I just hope I have the opportunity to make public art ... I can't do it alone  grrr... 

As far as sexism goes I do think there is a lot of it in the arts but there isn't  much I can do about it .  Except maybe go get an MFA from a good school .. that would take years though .