The truth

I'm really struggling with this job hunt. I'm struggling with having no friends in this new state of Colorado. I'm struggling because I'm bipolar of all things. I'm struggling with money and filed for bankruptcy today. And, I'm struggling with my weight regain.

I tell you all this because I needed to fess up. I feel like I'm the only one on this board that ever posts about how bad they get off track sometimes. I'm intimidated by that. But not tonight.

I went to the store today to buy Easter candy for my guy's daughter. I made her a basket for our first Easter together. I had to go to the store because I ate all the candy in it the first time. So, in a very deliberate way, I went to the store and proceeded to buy candy for her, buying the exact same candy for myself.

I brought it home and dove in. It did nothing for me. Not surprising. I suppose it did let me let out the air that was confined to my chest for so long. Binging is like cutting. It was like I was cutting myself.

Of course, I'll bring this all up in therapy. But it won't take away the fact that I did it.

Not sure what else to say. I'm disappointed in myself, but find that with most things in my life right now, I'm disappointed. It's become my default state.

I'm going to leave it at that, have a protein shake and pick up a book. There's not much I can do besides that.

Lauren

forgive yourself and set out to do better tomorrow. One day at a time!

You have friends here!  I think you are brave to fess up on your struggles.  I personally struggle much more than I reveal in my posts because I delude myself that as long as I am still losing it must not be hurting me when I cheat. (usually chocolate)   I don't binge but I definitely eat way to much sugar.

Today is a fresh start, you have an endless supply of fresh starts!

I understand the job search frustration, I had the same happen to me in spring 2008.  It took me until spring of 2009 to find a part time job then another year to go full time.  Hang in there and it will happen, unfortunately it takes time.

Thinking of you

Candy

It's been said that we have surgery on our tummy's, not our heads.  I can't imagine a single on of us that didn't have some head issues along with the fact that we ate too much, exercised too little and ate the wrong things.  Some of those issues are pretty easy to deal with and WLS and our other tricks, like trying to keep stuff out of the house, work pretty well.  Others require help, just like our WLS was required.  Sounds like you are getting the help in therapy. 
Forgive yourself and keep moving forward.  Glad you brought it to us.  Confession is good for the soul, they say. 

Lauren,

We all have things we struggle with.  I am so obsessive about things.  It changes depending on what is on my mind, from work to running.  DH has to tell me to stop sometimes.

I really try to put down what I eat.  Sometimes when I eat at night I don't come back on line and post it because I'm lazy.  When I started back tracking on My Fitness Pal, I had a wake up call with how fast you can get to 1200 calories in a day.  I really thought I was going good, but that extra bite here and there really add up.

I love sweets, but love to decorate cakes - a disaster waiting to happen.  I think I'm finally figuring out how I can do it without eating any of the batter or the icing before it is made!!

You have plenty of friends here!!!  Holidays are really hard for me to stay on track since I love sweets.  Eating has always been a comfort to me whether feeling sad, happy, lonely or whatever...

We all have today to begin again.  We will all mess up and just have to pick ourselves up and start again!  Good luck.  Hope you can find some work.

Linda

Oh - believe me - we get off track all the time...

I'm glad you came back to us for help and support - and don't feel like you're the only one struggling.  I'm struggling now with my eating - I had done well while in Michigan, then it all went to Heck... Those few pounds I took off (struggled to) are now easily back on - ugh!

Sorry about the job search and bankruptcy - you have a lot going on in your life - and I'm so glad you are going to therapy and have your guy there with you for much needed support (I hope he does anyway!).

It sounds like you are overwhelemed by everything that's happening to you.  Perhaps you should pick one item at a time to work on, instead of feeling like you are failing at everything.  If your eating is what is bothering you the most - then work on it.  I know the job search needs to happen, but can you just give yourself a few weeks to concentrate just on your eating?  They say it takes 3 weeks to get into a routine.   If it's your job search, then forgive your eating (not saying it is justification for a free-for-all) and concentrate just on the job search.

HUGS to you Lauren - you have such positive posts and I know we all get bogged down at times.  We're here for you!

Holidays are always hard for me too.  Instead of buying candy for the grandkids I buy them something like a hula hoop or freesbie and a little stuffed bunny or chick.  For the teenagers I buy a beach towel and flip flops.  I have to skip the candy because I will make myself SICK eating it.  You're not alone.  So next year plan ahead for something other than candy (just a tip).

So sorry for your $$$ issues, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.  Please continue to see your therapist and know that we are all here when you need to talk. 

Take one day at a time.  Forgive yourself and start a new day.  Hey, buy yourself a hula hoop too!!!

You are struggling with major issues. My heart goes out to you - big hugs.  OK, loving support moment over.

Get off you duff and network.  Join Meetup.com and find groups with similar interests that you can join.  Think about who these people are going to be, and can they help you get a job.  Are they meeting during the day?  Then they don’t have a job – look for a different group.  Meetup is free.  There are hundreds of groups in your area doing a million different things-you are bound to find many groups that share your interests.  Start making connections, networking, making new friends – and get your face out of the frig.  Because when you are out making new friends and doing new activities, you can’t take your frig/candy/chips/donuts with you!  Set a goal of doing 2-3 meetup activities a week.

I will be unemployed in 3 weeks myself, but I look forward to the challenge. The good news is this economy has the lowest unemployment rate I've seen in 4 years. Know how people who are unemployed are being discriminated against when applying for a job? "Create" a current company to work for on your resume, and have a friend play the script of being your current boss. These times require desperate measures to get a job - take no prisoners kind of guerrilla warfare. Be creative and think of ways to get your resume in front of people. Having problems doing that? Google it – read how other people have been creative.

I know filing for bankruptcy was harsh, but glad you got your consumer credit off your back.  That reduces some stress.  Forgive yourself, move on. 

Don’t get depressed.  Get angry and get moving.  Meet XX number of new people per week.  You are bound to click with some of them, and they will know others, and your circle grows exponentially.  And when you are busy, you won’t be sitting in front of your TV eating junk food you should not be buying, hating yourself….

You can do this.  You are a winner.  Now get out there and rock it!

Ii like your advise