To The Vets: How Long Did It Take To Get Used To Being Thin? XPost

I have been the weight I am since Aug. 11, with it going lower and then coming back here again, so it's been over a year since I have been pretty much maintaining but I have been a normal BMI or below for about a year and a half but I still don't want to get attached to being a normal size since it has never lasted before in my life.  I have lost 100+ pounds more times then I can count but eventually I find myself on the way up again, even after my first WLS.  This isn't one of those "it's too good to be true" posts or how to accept that I am really thin.  Rather, it is how long before you stop waiting for the other shoe to drop?  I think this is the longest I have gone at about the same weight.  Ever since I first started gaining weight when I was about 12 or 13 I have either been losing weight or gaining weight, only a few times staying the same for over a few months.

I don't have faith in myself that I can stick with it because of my past but the truth is I am fine with the way I eat.  I don't feel deprived at all, I am very satisfied with a small amount of food and I don't miss any particular food that I can't have.  In the past my downfall has usually been bread.  I always missed it and when I would get to the point that I thought I could handle it again moderately but of course I couldn't.  Now I don't even miss bread.  I do eat gluten free bread but I can take it or leave it, same with gluten free crackers and pasta.  It's not that they don't taste good, they taste pretty much like regular things, I just don't care one way or another.  I don't buy gluten free bread often because I wind up tossing it because I don't eat enough.  I have boxes of gluten  free crackers that I keep saying I will get around to eating but never have bothered.

I seem to get on a kick where i like a certain food so I buy a lot when it's on sale then I lose interest and it goes to waste.  I have 4 containers of sugar free ice cream in the freezer that I got on sale that no longer appeal to me.

The point I am trying to make is that right now I don't feel the same compulsion about eating that I always did in the past.  Not only am I satisfied with small amounts, I don't really get hungry and when it's time to eat a meal usually nothing really sounds exciting so I just pick out what's easiest.  I have never had this kind of relationship with food before and I don't know if it will last.

How do you go about seeing yourself as normal size and accepting yourself without feeling like it is probably going to be temporary again?  Sometimes I feel like I am a fat person in a thin suit and that I don't want people to get used to seeing me this way because it won't always be this way.  I know regain is possible after WLS, Hell, I managed to out eat the most powerful surgery there is out there.  When, if ever, will I accept that this time things might be different?  Will they be different?  With my first surgery I was always hungry and always wanting to eat.  This is the first time I feel so detached about food and eating.  It's almost like I am an alcoholic who is able to drink moderately for the first tine.  It just feels wrong I guess.

What a good question! I'm only a little over 2 months out so I can't really reply accurately yet except to say that up until my mid-thirties, I wasn't much overweight (about 20 lbs). Then I had an accident and things started to change and within 3 years about, I grew to over 200 lbs and eventually ending up at around 235. I would guess that since half of my life I was much smaller that maybe I would adjust easier to being smaller. I would sometimes catch an image of myself in a window and would not recognize myself. I would be really shocked at how large I was. I have thought about this recently and wonder if the body image we had when we were young and into our twenties actually hangs around in our heads. I have a detachment about food too and that part is really weird. I'm trying to come up with some really neat substitutes like my desire to write. I was usually too busy to really sit down and write but if I could just get a "high" from it like that of having a special food in the past. They say that food lights up the brain in the addiction center of the brain in those who are overweight. Maybe that is why we feel that something is not right. We're not lighting up. I'm tired and rambling. You got me thinking. Good night.

I'm in the "still waiting for the other shoe to drop" phase.  I see too many long term folks regaining some or a lot, and I fear the same thing. I think we just need to be ever mindful and not get complacent. Complacency is the enemy.

--gina

Boy, I'm not there.  I have been around this weight for over a year and still can't believe it when I still fit into clothes I had last winter.  I know it could go away in a heartbeat if I stopped being careful.

I know exactly what you are talking about.  I'm only 6 mos out and with EVERY stall, I think this is it.  This is all the weight I'm going to lose.  Right now I'm bouncing between 167 and 169 and every morning I think this is all I'm going to loose and I want despritly to have a normal BMI.....something inside me keeps telling me I will stop short AGAIN....I had lap band lost 70 lbs but never made it to my goal.....

I hope I can keep this going to get to my goal weight of at least 149 thats only 20 more lbs, but for some reason that seems so far away....

Ok, for 7 yrs I had not gained much or at least it didn't stay around long. Water weight when I ate alot of salt. Now at almost 8 yrs out - I call it LAZY - plain and simple. Not exercising, not getting on those darn scales and keeping track of what I weigh. 

So a word to the wise - just embrace the "fear of going backwards" and it will keep you on the straight and narrow. 

I am turning my 17 lb weight gain around, and getting more support,from here and family. Life is good and I am a winner in this battle of my body!   

It may take you a couple of years to get use to the person in the mirror, it is a real joy when you really see yourself and all the hard work you put into getting there. God bless and have a Great Week!

I let go when I stopped tracking my food and my weight didn't immediately shoot up.