Why can't I do it...second guessing surgery...

My insurance required 5 years BMI history too, but fortunately changed to a 2 year requirement.  Like you my BMI was all over the place as a result of one diet after another.  I was terrified I would not get insurance approval because I never went to the doctor.  I did not even have up-to-date well-woman check-ups.  My only appointments were for eye appointments and therapy, both of which do not weigh.  One thing was for certain with me...it was not the case of will power.  I lost 70 pounds in 1997, and over the course of the next 12 years went on to lose and gain those same 70 pounds 2 additional times.  For me the problem was I could not KEEP the weight off.  After losing so much over those 12 years (that does not include the 30 and 40 pound losses) I came to the end of myself knowing I was so defeated I would not only NOT lose it again, but I would never be able to keep the weight off.  THAT is where WLS puts us on a level playing field.

I wrote a lengthy letter detailing my countless diets thus explaining why my BMI did not meet the requirements at times.  I asked my surgeon to submit that letter, along with his documentation, to my insurance company. 

I think we are at a cross roads in this country.  We do not know what the future holds in regards to Obama Care and how those changes will impact WLS in the future.  That prospect is what propelled me to proceed with my surgery plans in 2009. 

I read a post this past year where someone on OH had been approved for surgery but backed out at the last minute.  When she realized at a later date she had made a mistake, she was having difficulty gaining approval, and the surgeon was hesitant to work with her.  If I remember correctly, she failed the psych evaluation the second go round.  Because she backed out the first time, it negatively impacted her.  You might be able to do a search and find the post.

This is a big decision, and I would imagine many people go into this with a small amount of doubt in the back of their mind.  I think it is the unknown that contributes to this.  I am so thankful for my surgery, and for the first time in my adult life, I feel my ability to control my weight is doable.  It takes effort, but it is much easier to manage 4 or 5 pounds versus 120 plus pounds.

Listen to your heart...no one is walking in your shoes.  I'm curious to know whether your husband has a normal BMI or only a few pounds overweight.  My husband has been lean his entire life.  He too felt it was just a matter of self-control.  His attitude towards the obese has evolved, and he is gaining understanding and empathy.

 I continue to think this one through since my original posting. My husband has never battled his weight ... He considers his 5lb holiday weight gain a battle ... and I know he doesn't understand what I'm going through mentally. I think i wish so badly i could just do this on my own but having "been there, done that" on pretty much every diet and reading all the various posts on this site, i am closer to thinking it is the right thing. I meet with the surgeon this friday(!) and am really curious how that will go. I wonder if he will try and talk me out of it. I think my insurance requires the 6mos medically supervised program...frustrating because I thought I was doing that via medi-weight loss but they say it doesn't qualify. And I don't have serious comorbidities though I have a strong family history of several, and I have stress incontinence that seems to be getting worse. My head is just swimming with what if scenarios...I hope I'll feel better after Friday.

Don't know how to help you make your husband see your side...I was "lucky" in that way, my husband also had a weight issue (his surgery was 5 weeks before mine).

Oh, and I had bad stress incontinence pre-op...I no longer have that issue. It is GONE!

Liz