OT Didn't Expect To Feel This Way
So, I talked about being in contact with my ex husband again through Facebook. He wanted to get together for lunch so I agreed but not before I told him I wasn't interested in dating him again.
So I saw him today and I was surprised at the feelings it brought up. I didn't expect to be physically attracted to him since he looked much different in his current pictures. I just didn't expect to feel anything emotionally.
I left regretting that I had left him. He is doing very well, is a home owner and seems very stable. But I thought that when I first met him too, until the drinking got out of hand. He always had a lot of good things about him. I just couldn't take his drinking and using. I know he still drinks and smokes pot but I don't know if he still has a problem with it. I still don't want to ever be with anyone again who has a problem.
I am not going to act on my feelings since I really don't want to go back to what things were like at that time and I am pretty content with my life the way it is, except the financial aspect but I am working on that. I really, at this stage, don't want to live with anyone. I like being alone and not having drama in my life. I also don't feel very domestic and I don't want to take care of another person as far as cooking and cleaning. I know it's not always that way but more often then not it seems to be. I have a full time job taking care of my daughter and myself. I just don't have anything left for anyone else. That is why it has worked out with my current boyfriend. He makes no demands on my, expects nothing from me and accepts me as I am. I doubt we will ever live together or get married and I am OK with that.
I also made a decision that I wouldn't get in a serious relationship or live with a man until my kids were all grown. I have 15 months until my daughter is an adult and at that point I may want to think about remarrying or living with someone but not now.
So, I just wanted to put that out there. I know that this too shall pass and it won't kill me to have feelings for a person and not have to be with them. Feelings can change, especially if you don't act on them.
So I saw him today and I was surprised at the feelings it brought up. I didn't expect to be physically attracted to him since he looked much different in his current pictures. I just didn't expect to feel anything emotionally.
I left regretting that I had left him. He is doing very well, is a home owner and seems very stable. But I thought that when I first met him too, until the drinking got out of hand. He always had a lot of good things about him. I just couldn't take his drinking and using. I know he still drinks and smokes pot but I don't know if he still has a problem with it. I still don't want to ever be with anyone again who has a problem.
I am not going to act on my feelings since I really don't want to go back to what things were like at that time and I am pretty content with my life the way it is, except the financial aspect but I am working on that. I really, at this stage, don't want to live with anyone. I like being alone and not having drama in my life. I also don't feel very domestic and I don't want to take care of another person as far as cooking and cleaning. I know it's not always that way but more often then not it seems to be. I have a full time job taking care of my daughter and myself. I just don't have anything left for anyone else. That is why it has worked out with my current boyfriend. He makes no demands on my, expects nothing from me and accepts me as I am. I doubt we will ever live together or get married and I am OK with that.
I also made a decision that I wouldn't get in a serious relationship or live with a man until my kids were all grown. I have 15 months until my daughter is an adult and at that point I may want to think about remarrying or living with someone but not now.
So, I just wanted to put that out there. I know that this too shall pass and it won't kill me to have feelings for a person and not have to be with them. Feelings can change, especially if you don't act on them.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
I know I read and lurk more than I post, but you are one of those posters ( abd not a poster on a wall! lol) whose content or writing is amazing in content and style and personality!
If you ever want another friend not just on OH, I would be honored to be a pen-pal via email or talk on phone gal. Now that I have my phone (since end of Sep 2011) I rarely turn on my "tv-style old-fashioned computer"! I live alone ( been married and divorced and my one and only DD is married and lives three hours away by car and there are currently and unfortunately issues between her and I from situations I have caused her,and as such she rarely contacts me. Smidgens of what you have written(and that I have read as I recently returned to lurking the Lightweights) I can so relate to emotionally and medically.
So being addicted to my iPhone and rarely touching my computer, my iPhone has a "burping" issue with regard to PMing anyone so pen-pal or phone, if you permit would give me not just a new virtual friend but tangible-and if did agree to talk-I would gladly pay for any calls to you but would need to know if yes you agree( you PM me as I can read the PMs on the iPhone, it just won't let me
write one out or respond aside from the subject line) and when it would be convenient for me to ring you.
Mikimi in Israel
If you ever want another friend not just on OH, I would be honored to be a pen-pal via email or talk on phone gal. Now that I have my phone (since end of Sep 2011) I rarely turn on my "tv-style old-fashioned computer"! I live alone ( been married and divorced and my one and only DD is married and lives three hours away by car and there are currently and unfortunately issues between her and I from situations I have caused her,and as such she rarely contacts me. Smidgens of what you have written(and that I have read as I recently returned to lurking the Lightweights) I can so relate to emotionally and medically.
So being addicted to my iPhone and rarely touching my computer, my iPhone has a "burping" issue with regard to PMing anyone so pen-pal or phone, if you permit would give me not just a new virtual friend but tangible-and if did agree to talk-I would gladly pay for any calls to you but would need to know if yes you agree( you PM me as I can read the PMs on the iPhone, it just won't let me
write one out or respond aside from the subject line) and when it would be convenient for me to ring you.
Mikimi in Israel
Glad the meeting went well and you have a plan for the future. And it sounds like a good plan.
66 yrs young, 4'11" hw 220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance
Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board. the Lightweight Board
Good for you! I know feelings come back in different forms - and for different reasons. I'm glad you're being sensible and cautious...
I've really enjoyed being on my own the past week or so. Of course I'm busy getting my new place all set up.
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Stay strong Tazz. You are in a good place emotionally and like you said, a relatively drama
free zone. I think it can be difficult sometimes when feelings from the past influence the
present (I dealt with this myself in recent years with an ex-boyfriend). Keep doing what you
are doing. You are being healthy and setting boundaries on how you want to live.
Keep rocking that!
~~Jennifer
free zone. I think it can be difficult sometimes when feelings from the past influence the
present (I dealt with this myself in recent years with an ex-boyfriend). Keep doing what you
are doing. You are being healthy and setting boundaries on how you want to live.
Keep rocking that!
~~Jennifer
HW/232 CW/145.2 GW/???
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