Stress=eating, Have I learned nothing?!

Well my Lw goddesses,
I need to rant a little myself. It seems like this year has been full of nothing but tragedy.
In January, a friend on mine from high school lost his 17 year old son due to heart problems.
Found out that my 16 smoked pot. I dont know if this is a regular occurence, or just tried it.
Then this tragedy in Chardon.  A  woman I work with lost her son, not to mention the other 2 boys that were killed. 2 of the kids that survived  were in the hospital I work at. It was just so overwhelming. I seem to be having an over reaction to this. I am not sleeping well. I get nervous when the boys are away from me.
Then to top things off, my friend's daughter who is 20, appears to have suffered a large brain injury, and looks like there is no hope for recovery.
Now I dont know if its due to the lack of sleep, but all I want to do is graze. I feel like a bottomless pit. I am gaining and that scares the hell out of me too.
As I am writing this I also realize, that I have not been working out, reluctantly taking Buddy for walks. The weather here has been awful except for a few days.
I have been doing my protein coffees every morning and still taking my vites. But I realize that I have not  been doing a good job of taking care of me. I know I have had problems with depression in the past, and felt like I was doing so much better, but maybe now its time to get on some meds or something.
Why do I still turn to food? I know that it is not the answer. But the feeling to eat is so overwhelming. I know part of it is the carbs and I am going to try today (again) to eliminate them from my diet.
Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this out in the open.

~Maria

Oh Maria, I hadn't realized you are right there in the midst of the tragedy.  The rest of us can put it out of our minds for a while but you are living with it.

As we have all said in the past, surgery is on our tummies not our brains.  I think that part is a constant battle.  Carbs are probably part of it and you know how to get a handle on that.  Depression or anxiety is also probably part and meds may help.  At the same time, recent studies show that exercise can help as much as drugs for mild to mod depression.  Working out again may bring you the stress relief you need.  Plus it is hard to eat when you are busy.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and the other families.  What a heartbreaking situation.

You are dealing with so much...it is little wonder.  I ask myself the same question every time I turn to food...which is more often than I care to admit. 

Oh, Maria. Lots of . Our old habits are just under the surface as I have also found out.

Exercise is actually very therapeutic, and like Price said, can be as effective as medication. Do you have a therapist that you can talk to? Additional support can be very helpful and can be a way to express your internal sadness, anxiety, and agitation. Kudos to you for recognizing what is going on. Prior to WLS, you may not have so attuned to turning to food for solace and comfort. Food is a way of numbing ourselves, so that we can escape the pain, as you probably already know.

Lots of (((HUGS)))/


Gail

Maria,
{{{{Hugs}}}} to you.  It sounds like it has been a horrible time.  I am so sorry all of this is happening.  I can't imagine the pain of loosing a child that your friend is going through.  I'm sure it makes you want to lock your boys up in your home to keep them safe.

I think food will always be a comfort to some of us.  I know that is what I reach for when I am stressed or bored.  I don't know if we can ever get over that.  It does seem to be easier to stop it and get back on track for me.  I agree the more bad carbs I eat the more I want to eat.

Exercise really helps me to get out of my dark moods.  I have noticed that when I go outside to walk I just feel better.

Welcome back!!  Hope you feel better real soon.

Linda

A big thanks to my Lw's!
You guys are the best.
I guess I didnt realize that preop I wouldnt have recognized that I was eating out of emotion. Now I do and need to stop. But I feel like I am on a runaway train.
I think I am going to call our employee assistance  line and see if I can talk with somebody. It may be what I need to deal with all of this.
Its also a nice warm windy day here and need to get Buddy outside for his walk. Already signed up for a yoga class at 730p. Its with one of my favorite instructors.

Love  you guys!

~Maria

Just the fact that you posted here lets me know that you realize there is a problem and you want to fix it.  Try posting more often and start making yourself me accountable to someone.

I recently had to decarb because I left a few carby snacks into my daily menu.  I am amazed how less I think of food since those pretzels and chips are gone.

You can do this!!!!!

(((HUGS)))

Thanks Roz!
Pretzels equal the devil around here!
Packed up some saltines, pretzels and dried fruit today, Going to bring it in to work for the girls.
I have to work two 12 hour shifts thursday and friday. Planning on packing, and not eating anything unless it comes out of my work bag.

I know for me, when in that "bad place" food just seems like the solace I need. I know this is temporary and not helping but it can be so hard to just feel the emotions instead of numbing them out with food. You have experienced a lot of stressors AND a lot of sadness. Today though you put you at the top of the list and acknowledged the feelings and also established some self care such as yoga. Keep "dialing in" however you can. I have been reading Beck Diet for Life and 50 Ways to Soothe Oneself Without Food and both are helping greatly. I know for me, as I am losing my way (weight), I need to check back in and start reading/self caring again.

Hang in there!!!

~~~Jennifer

Maria (((HUGS)))  - you have had a lot of stress to deal with lately and I know its very easy to turn to food.  I never thought I was a stress eater - but lo and behold, I find myself grazing when times are tough.

I think the employee assistance program is a great idea.  At least identify and help you deal with what life has handed you at the moment.

Hang in there!  We are here for you