Tired of people telling me I don't need WLS!

 Hello friends, need to vent. I am so sick of people telling me that I don't need WLS! LOTS of people who have no business telling me anything have put in their two cents about my very private situation. If one more person tells me I'm "not big enough," I am going to scream! This was a difficult enough decision for me to make. All of my doctors AND my insurance company think I am big enough! I FEEL big enough! Who do these people think they are?? (By people I mostly mean co workers and some family members.) All they are doing is putting doubt in my mind and making me more anxious in a time when I really need support. 

I am 5'4" 204lbs and gaining weight rapidly as I get older. I also have sleep apnea which keeps me up all night and prevents me from getting up early to exercise. My eating is totally out of control, and I am getting the sleeve as I've been told that is the best option for a volume eater, which I certainly am.

Have any of you lightweights out there experienced this and do you have any advice for me? I feel better just putting it out there, so thanks for giving me this forum to vent my frustration!

And these are probably people who dont have a weight problem.  I was shocked when my best friend told me I was taking the easy way out.  That I should just be able to reduce my eating and exercise and lost weight on my own.  REALLY?  Dont you think I would have done that by now if I could.  It is not like I havent tried every diet out there for the past 20 years. 

The doctors wouldn't perform the surgery if you did not meet the criteria.  And why should you wait until you gain more weight?   I hope your freinds, family and co-workers can support you and help you succeed, but I understand where you are coming from.

 I am also having the sleeve on March 27th.  When is yours scheduled? 

One reason OH started the LW board was because we kept getting flamed on other boards for being too small for this or that surgery. We also have heard the kind you're getting now from folks you know. So, we're kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't. We deserve to be healthy too. You just hang here with us--we got your back.

--gina

I am very thankful for this board.  I remember well the day someone commented about a lightweight's photo saying something like "pre-surgery and feeling miserable."  This high BMI person went on to say "Really!" about that person's photo.  Mine photo says that, and I became very self-consious feeling like I needed to apologize for my BMI...crazy thinking...It made me realize discrimination even exists here.  I began feeling really guilty for being a lightweight and wishing I had more photos showing me at my heaviest.  Even now, I try to be extremely careful when posting on the other boards.

Yep, most of us have heard it.  But they haven't carried around that extra weight.  And they don't know all the other stuff we have done to try to get it under control.

Just a reminder, however.  The sleeve, or any of the WLS's will help with your tummy but not your brain.  If your eating is "out of control", you may want to be sure there aren't some head issues you need to deal with also.  They seem to come back and bite us in the butt if we don't deal with them.

I told one of my coworkers (and my husband) to go grab 2-50 lb sacks of sand and take a walk around the block.  We would discuss my weight loss needs when they returned.  That shut 'em up quick.

Tonya

THANK YOU all so much for your kind words. It really helps!

Lori - My surgery is 3/23 - yay! Let's keep each other posted!
Gina - THANK YOU, I really appreciate this forum and you all!
Tonya - GREAT ANALOGY! I am going to use it! 

I still experience this when I share that I had surgery! People don't understand that it is hard to carry around over 200 pounds when you are shor.t.  At 5'2", 210, I was at 38-39 BMI. Unbelievable right?? LOL Many don't understand and I have found that if someone has that issue, they are more against WLS in general than YOU having surgery.

I tried everything so I wouldn't need surgery. I failed and needed help. That was hard enough to admit to myself let alone have to explain to someone else. I feel your pain and can only recommend you ignore them. It was for that very reason I didn't tell anyone about my WLS for a few years.

This is why I waited to tell people not close to me until it was very close to surgery.

However, I did have two stock responses:

When they said "can't you just diet and exercise", I'd say: I'm not having WLS to lose weight -- I can lose weight just fine. I'm having it to KEEP IT OFF. That is something I've never been able to do.

When they said I wasn't big enough, I'd say (very curtly) "Well, my doctor and insurance company disagree". (This was usually accompanied by The Look so they knew they'd gone where no one should go.)

Great responses