Please help.....freaking out!

When I was flooded was all these thoughts and emotions this was where I knew I needed to come.  I keep telling myself that what I'm thinking and feeling is so normal but then I keep thinking maybe not. I'm 9 days away from surgery.   Here is goes...

What if I'm the one person who will not lose weight with the sleeve? What if my starting BMI of 31 is where my body wants to be.  What if this does not work. What if I haven't tried the 1020th diet?  What if the next diet will work and I will get all the weight off and keep it off this time.  What if I don't deserve this and I'm just supposed to be fat.  I know that terrible to say, but I'm being honest and that thought has gone through my mind.

The funny thing is I'm not worried about the pain at all.  I'm also not worried about missing all the amazing food that got me to 202 lbs.  I just so much want to know life 60 lbs lighter.  Would love 70 lbs but I would be okay with 60.

Its going to be a long 9 days, I hope I can do this.  I can't believe backing out of it is even going through my mind.

Would appreciate any and all words of wisdom!  Thanks so much!!

Jamie

What you're going through is called the 2 week freak. Absolutely normal and it will pass. You need this surgery to beat the odds. It will be ok, you can do this. :)

--gina

 Lol, you will be fine.  You will lose weight.  What you are feeling is very normal.  I am not a veteran, but I read these boards religiously and have seen your fears written in one form or another 100 times.  I'm just 2 months out and I'm already down over 40 lbs!  My surgery was different than yours, but the results are similar I believe.    Just think your new life starts in 9days!  How exciting.  Congratulations!

I had the same fears !  I think it's because every "diet" that we've ever tried did not work.  This is not a diet.  It is a new lifestyle :)  Good luck to you.
Mandy

 Everything you're going through is normal.  So now it's time to set aside the panic and go have fun.  You'll be a little lower energy for awhile so get out for some good long walks.  Play with your friends. Do whatever is fun.

Start visualizing how beautifully you'll heal.  Make a list of all the things that you want to do as you shed these 60-70 pounds.  You're in for a great ride and you'll have so much fun.

Why wait? Start smiling right now.  You deserve everything.

Ask the old timers here.  I was sure that I'd be the first person that didn't lose the weight.  It happened inspite  of my doubts.

Take care Jamie!

I am new to the lightweights boards but believe this may be a good place for me to come going forward... I have had the same thoughts as you above!  I will be required to wait 90 days and jump through all the eligibility hoops but worry that surgery is not something I deserve. 

The way I have answered my own self talk is by telling myself that only I know what is right for me.  I know that I have been dieting for 30 years or more and just can't do it one more time and I need to get healthy to ensure I have a long and engaged life.  This is one way that we can take back the control of our bodies that left us.

I wish you the best of luck and will continue to watch your progess to see what lies ahead for me... thank you for posting!

 The self-doubt is normal.  I've been successful but I still perk up when I hear about something new that might have made the weight come off without surgery.  

When I go through stalls and don't lose weight as fast as others i think the same things about "not derserving it".  In reality stalls are normal, and if I'm not losing after a stall it's because I'm non-compliant, not underserving. 

Rest up after surgery, then go enjoy all the new things that are coming your way,
janet

Yep!!! You are normal!!! you are sooooooo... Normal! I hope you have the same experience I did going into the last 3 days before surgery. Total calmness -- even at work! I knew I had researched and made a solid decision for ME for possibly the first time. Get your bag packed, get the laundry done and try to relax!!!

Meg

Thank you ladies!  I knew yall would help calm my nerves some.  This time next week I will be driving to Eagle Pass, that seems just crazy after this long journey.  I'm taking my youngest to the zoo today and we are going to have a picnic.

I do hope this feeling of failure fades.  Please share with me things I need to hear and or do to keep my mind calm.

You are all amazing, I'm blessed to have found this group to walk this journey with me.  To help me and guide me.  Thank you all so much!

Jamie

The best thing for all those what ifs:

What if you don't do it? What if you miss out on this opportunity? How many years will you beat yourself up over that?

Just hang in there a few more days. What you're feeling is normal.

Sending you thoughts of kittens and puppies and sunny beaches. Relax. Breathe in the ocean air. Listen to the kittens purr. And when you're feeling better, I think that one puppy had an accident on your couch. Sorry. :)