Missing my grandmother. Stress eating and NOT eating

My grandmother got her angel wings on Ash Wednesday. I went home to NJ for the funeral. She had a long amazing life and she was a huge part of mine. I loved her dearly. I went on Sunday and fixed her hair and make up. I got alot of closure just being able to have that private time with her. A friend of mine helped me create a video of her life. We played it at the funeral.  Grandma and I always played dress up. I always trimmed her hair, rolled it, fixed her make up and did her nails. Doing this for her felt like the last thing I could do for her. We were so much alike. She loved to be prissy.  I am really struggling. I read a poem I wrote for her at the funeral. At the end of her funeral I hugged the priest and told him thank you for the service. He wispered in my ear, "Wake Up", I said "what". He said, "Wake up" and shook my shoulders. I feel like it was a message. Not sure what to do with it? I tried emailing him to find out what he meant but he hasn't e-mailed me back. I have been really stressed by this and losing my grandmother. Since I have gotten back home I have noticed this week I have had days I just couldn't eat then days I was stress eating the wrong things. I have been searching for direction in my life for a long time. With the priest saying this to me I am more confused than ever.

 John,

Dont bit yourself over the head. You need some time to heal. You are mourning. It will take a while. I lost my gradma two years ago and I know the feeling.
Find a support group to help you grieve. Pray and medidate as well.
My condolesences...Please let us know what the priest meant.

You will be fine.
YR

 I'm so sorry sweetie.  Is this your Sunshine Grammy that turned 95 last year?  You were so close.  It's natural that you are feeling off kilter right now.  Who knows what the priest meant. Maybe he'll explain.  The important thing is that you find your balance.  Your routines are part of your life and might actually bring you some comfort and stability as you grieve.  Could you write down a food plan in the morning so you can just look at it and feel like you're taking care of yourself?

Im sending big hugs your way.  I'm glad your family is there to help you through this.  Please post often to let us know that you're ok.

Who knows what HE meant but I would think that she is in a better place, out of pain and we are to continue life, to its fullest, until we can join her.  Sounds like you had a wonderful life with her and a great goodbye.  Be happy for the wonderful times and think about how she would want you to move on with your life.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know grandmothers are so very important to us and their love will live with us forever.  Remember all the wonderful times you had together. 

I agree with Lee that maybe making a plan for the day and trying to stick to it would help during this time. 

{{{{Hugs}}}} and Prayers to you and your family.

Linda

 I am so sory to hear about your grandmother.  I lost mine my first year of teaching.  She had been in hospice care for over a year.  We kidded that she needed to hold out till spring break so, I could come home.  She did even better, she made it till a week before semester finals. I was able to take a week off to go home.  That week saved my teaching career.

The last time I saw her she was able to tell me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me.  I will always carry that with me.


My mother and I also did my grandmother's hair and makeup.  We had been doing it for her and each other all my life.  It really was nice to do one last thing for and with her....we laughed and cried...it was a good way to say goodbye.  

But I still miss her.  She did not get to meet my husband or see her great grand daughter.  She would have LOVED my little girl....

To feel closer to her during my pregnancy, I started taking crochet classes...my projects look nothing like my grandmothers,but I always feel her when I crochet.


I hope you feel ppeace.

(((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss.

Please take care of yourself & do not beat yourself up for not doing everything 100%. I give you a lot of credit to see what you are doing and posting here about it.

Like others said, try and make a plan. Perhaps take some walks as well to help with stress.

Above all - take care of you!