What Do You Miss About Being Overweight?
I feel your pain with this one. Not only was my approach flawed, it was emotionally scarring. Not my finest memories of my service.
I had some real zealot jerk-bait commanders who tried to use me as an example to everyone, despite clear medical guidance that I had other things going on. Talk about wearing down your self-esteem. The day my promotion to Lt Col was announced, I was called into the chief of staff's office because someone complained to him that I was fat. I was the thinnest I had been in 7 years. I was taped and passed, but it was a bitter pill to swallow especially when I was expected to put a smile on my face and go to the officer's club and pay for the promotion party. Talk about bursting my bubble. I try to temper my bitterness with all the other wonderful experiences I had in the Air Force. I had some fabulous bosses who gave me great support and DH has always been my truest supporter.
Kay
Maybe not a character flaw but a choice.
I do think for some people, they start putting on weight as a defense mechanism and then the hormones take over and they can't stop the cycle because now their body fights them to stay at a higher weight than their defense mechanism needs.
But I am not those people.
I started gaining weight when I was 8-10 as I started going through puberty. I was miserable about it the entire time until I lost weight when I went on my first diet at age 13. That started me on a cycle of always being hungry and my body fighting to get back to my starting weight plus 10 pounds. I fought it for years but every year I went up 5 pounds and eventually I gained it all back. Then I kept going.
But the entire time I was fighting it and worrying about what I ate and alternating between periods of dieting and just eating whatever. And no matter how much I ate, I never felt full or satisfied. I was always hungry.
WLS has given me the control back that I desparately needed and wanted. I was one of those people who was successful in everything in my life except controlling my weight and that lack of control was my secret shame.
So there are thing about having WLS that I don't like (not being able to eat a few more bites when there is good food but my sleeve is full being the main one), but being overweight is not one of them.
I can see that's different for LadyTazz though. She keeps posting pictures of herself at a good weight and then saying she's too thin and then posting pictures of herself overweight and saying she wants to be that weight. So clearly being slightly overweight (but not obese) works for her in some way. And it's good to get counseling for that.
But not everyone got overweight for the same reasons or is in the same place mentally.
I feel like I am my real self now, for example. A lot of people report looking in the mirror and seeing someone 300+ pounds when they are a normal weight. I know I think of myself as about 10-20 pounds heavier than I am, but not 100+ pounds. And mostly I look in the mirror and say "Oh, there you are. I've missed you." not "who's that girl?!?!"
I do think for some people, they start putting on weight as a defense mechanism and then the hormones take over and they can't stop the cycle because now their body fights them to stay at a higher weight than their defense mechanism needs.
But I am not those people.
I started gaining weight when I was 8-10 as I started going through puberty. I was miserable about it the entire time until I lost weight when I went on my first diet at age 13. That started me on a cycle of always being hungry and my body fighting to get back to my starting weight plus 10 pounds. I fought it for years but every year I went up 5 pounds and eventually I gained it all back. Then I kept going.
But the entire time I was fighting it and worrying about what I ate and alternating between periods of dieting and just eating whatever. And no matter how much I ate, I never felt full or satisfied. I was always hungry.
WLS has given me the control back that I desparately needed and wanted. I was one of those people who was successful in everything in my life except controlling my weight and that lack of control was my secret shame.
So there are thing about having WLS that I don't like (not being able to eat a few more bites when there is good food but my sleeve is full being the main one), but being overweight is not one of them.
I can see that's different for LadyTazz though. She keeps posting pictures of herself at a good weight and then saying she's too thin and then posting pictures of herself overweight and saying she wants to be that weight. So clearly being slightly overweight (but not obese) works for her in some way. And it's good to get counseling for that.
But not everyone got overweight for the same reasons or is in the same place mentally.
I feel like I am my real self now, for example. A lot of people report looking in the mirror and seeing someone 300+ pounds when they are a normal weight. I know I think of myself as about 10-20 pounds heavier than I am, but not 100+ pounds. And mostly I look in the mirror and say "Oh, there you are. I've missed you." not "who's that girl?!?!"
HW - 225 SW - 191 GW - 132 CW - 122
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I am still fat. Not as fat as I was, but I still have a ways to go! So far, the only thing I've missed is eating whatever I wanted at fast food places and restaurants! I have to really think about what I eat now. I know that is a good thing and it will get easier. But basically, I love cheeseburgers and fries and I miss them. Badly!
Start weight 226. Surgery weight 218 on 1/6/12
Okay I'll be honest. I wouldn't go back for anything but sometimes I miss the alone time. Obviously there was more of it when I didn't socialize, or exercise or date or anything. Now that I'm married I really appreciate the little time to myself. (and poor hubbby thinks I miss him when he occasionally goes to a soccer game! LOL)
Janet
Janet
NOTHING! I can't think of a thing that I miss after over 50 years of feeling bad about myself because I didn't fit the standard of acceptable beauty. I don't miss being the wallflower, being the one that waved as my friends went out, being the one that everyone stared at while walking down the street, being the one dressed in bad tents because the fashions were so lame until 20 years ago, being the one that hid behind fat to not deal with the real issues, being the one scared of what the scale would way in the morning, being the one that felt that I took up too much space, being the one that felt bad about everything about myself, being the one that felt inferior because I just couldn't do what everyone else seemed to do with ease.
What I've learned is that everyone has "something" regardless of body size, beauty, brilliance etc. We all have stuff to work on and for me it takes a village. That village is my WLS support groups, both online and face to face as well as the love of my son who's my best support. I learned a lot in my years in OA about how to live life on life's terms instead of the made-up ones in my head. Now I get to be one of the crowd of humans, just trying to live our best life in the face of challenges that life hurles at us.
What I've learned is that everyone has "something" regardless of body size, beauty, brilliance etc. We all have stuff to work on and for me it takes a village. That village is my WLS support groups, both online and face to face as well as the love of my son who's my best support. I learned a lot in my years in OA about how to live life on life's terms instead of the made-up ones in my head. Now I get to be one of the crowd of humans, just trying to live our best life in the face of challenges that life hurles at us.
HW: 249 SW: 229 GW: 149 Age: 63 - Body by Sauceda - 12/2011
I miss peeing in my pants because my bladder and stomach were so heavy I couldn't hold in my urine...I miss getting up in the morning and not wanting to get dressed because nothing fit and what did fit I had worn the day before..I miss constipation...I miss sugar comas...I miss driving around in my car eating so no one could see me...I miss sweat between my fat rolls...I miss wanting to die..
I miss hating myself....I miss feeling out of control every minute of the day...I miss cancelling trips...parties...invites...outings..because I felt fat...I miss my grannie panties...I miss not being able to run ....in a word....I miss NOTHING.....sometimes I miss lying on the couch and eating all day and watching TV and going into a sugar coma...that was nice...but the day after was hell... and I was a bad mother when I was carbed up....I gave up relationsips...friendships...because of my self hatred...OMG I could go on forever but I have to go to the gym...but in all seriousness...I did hide behind my fat and food was my drug of choice and I had a lot of pain to deal with...and a lot of anger to supress....but do I miss it...NOOOO....SEAVIEW
I miss hating myself....I miss feeling out of control every minute of the day...I miss cancelling trips...parties...invites...outings..because I felt fat...I miss my grannie panties...I miss not being able to run ....in a word....I miss NOTHING.....sometimes I miss lying on the couch and eating all day and watching TV and going into a sugar coma...that was nice...but the day after was hell... and I was a bad mother when I was carbed up....I gave up relationsips...friendships...because of my self hatred...OMG I could go on forever but I have to go to the gym...but in all seriousness...I did hide behind my fat and food was my drug of choice and I had a lot of pain to deal with...and a lot of anger to supress....but do I miss it...NOOOO....SEAVIEW
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