How do I tell him?

Mothers. Whew. Mine spent my whole childhood insulting me, chiding me, scolding me, withholding food, putting me on a diet, calling me names, so much more. Some of that continued into my adulthood (cruel words). So guess what? BUH-bye. I'm a grownup now. I will tolerate no more meanness from anyone. Time to be nice to me!

xo GG 

Whenever you decide to tell your dad, be sure to have all your reason lined up and emphasize how this procedure is to help you regain your health and lead a more active lifestyle. If you have medical issues, focus on how the surgery will help you to be rid of them. I was so happy to be off the CPAP machine and to have the sleep apnea gone, that is has been worth every difficult moment that I had during the first two months post surgery. WLS is a gift for a second chance at a healthier and more active life. I am grateful everyday that I had the surgery. I think you will feel the same. Focus on this, rather than any negative comments that you might receive.

I hope you are met with understanding from your father.

Gail

Thanks, Everyone, for the input and advice.  Right now I think I'm going to wait until I feel comfortable telling my dad.  If that's before surgery, okay.  If it's after surgery, that's okay too.  I think I'm under enough stress right now as is to not want to add to it.  I need to focus on me right now.

Thanks again!

Do what is best for you.  I did not tell my brother and his wife until 6 mo after my surgery. My SIL's sister had RNY and she had nothing good to say about it so I knew they would not be supportive.  I did what was best for me and you should do the same. 

Good luck.
Sheri

I haven't told anyone in my extended family. I've only told my husband & son (college-age) & a few close girlfriends.

My mother & I are going through a rough patch & we haven't spoken since August. I'm not ready to share this with her. I also don't want to worry her (she is a HUGE worrier, almost thrives on it).

I haven't told my 32yo daughter either. We're estranged. She & I were so close when she was growing up (I was a single mom until she was almost 9). We both have struggled with our weight (understatement). I think part of the reason we're estranged is because she knew I was seriously considering this surgery starting late summer 2010, & she was terribly upset. She made it clear to me she thought it was... stupid. I left out all the other terrible adjectives she used; I want to be as positive as possible since my surgery is a little over a day away!

My husband & son have been so supportive. My son, at first, was supportive, then he came to me some time later & said, "Mom, please don't have the surgery. You look great! You really do." I told him thank you my darling son, but I have type-2 diabetes (insulin-dependent) & I've been heavy all my life & it's taking its toll, & that I want this chance at a new life. Since we talked, he's been 100% behind my decision. (He comes home for spring break 3 days after my surgery! wooHOO!)

Follow your heart! You're in my prayers & good thoughts Makuahine! Aloha!

xo GG 

 I did not tell my mother or sister before the surgery...I did tell them I was having surgery though. I told them I was having a hiateal hernia fixed...my surgeon actually did fix it when he went in so it wasn't a complete lie...but I aslo had a sleeve...I just didn't want to have to hear the negative stuff before the surgery. I needed to have those who knew be 100% behind me....after I survived the surgery and then some...lost weight and was comfortable and completely at ease with myself and my deicsion and my self esteem was good because I had achieved my goals and was back in control of my life...I told my mom and sister....my mom was very supportive but my sister flipped out...and now is ok with it...so I was right about not telling them...in any case you never have to tell your dad but if you want to tell him you are having surgery just so he knows tell him you are having
gall bladder out or hiatal hernia fix...anything abdominal....good luck...SEAVIEW