Did your obesity hold you back?

I saw the news last night that Whitney Houston died. I think it is sad. She was a woman around my age who was tremendously successful, but let drug addiction and a negative relationship drag her down.

Food had traditionally been my therapy of choice, my addiction. Food has been my Bobby Brown, my love/hate relationship. My obesity has held me back in my professional life. I've missed several opportunities because of my "image". I could handle the work, but didn't look the part. Of course, I'd turn to food for solace.

I became so self conscious of my weight that I began avoiding old friends. I didn't want to see their reaction to me. I didn't want to feel their judgemental looks. At least food didn't judge me.


I'm thrilled about my WLS and having my life back. Is food your Bobby Brown? How have you let obesity hold you back! And what are/did you start/reclaim/finish as you lose/lost your weight?

Kay

Very close, yes. My weight was always a battle that I was able to beat back but when I destroyed my back running stairs to keep the weight off, my career was over. I should have made Colonel and would have been a damn good one. :(

--g

Me too! I can't tell you how many well-meaning friends said so in the receiving line at my retirement ceremony. You can imagine what that did for my self esteem.

 I worked hard to maintain a professional image on the outside but my self image, and eventually the physical exhaustion from being heavy always held me back. The scary part for me is that it feels so good now that I have stopped putting enough energy into losing the remaining weight. There have been so many NSV that I got comfortable at this new weight, which is still about thirty pounds from goal.  Recently I started hypnotherapy to try to get at the root of my need to comfort eat.
Janet

I didn't think at the time that my weight was holding me back but now that I'm at Goal I can see a huge difference in my life.

I stayed at a job for 18 years that I really liked but constantly had an upset stomach because my Boss was verbally cruel and I never new when his moods were going to change. He finally closed his business and I felt terribly lost. I had little confidence and even though I had been a Secretary/Bookkeeper for over 35 years I felt like I didn't have any skills worth offering.

During that time my DD#3 encouraged me to start looking into WLS. That was
the turning point for me!!! I Had my surgery, reached goal, reached a new level of confidence and got a wonderful job that I LOVE Every Second of Every Day!!!

My biggest regrets are waiting until I was in my 50's before having WLS. I'm enjoying my Grandchildren so much more that I did my own girls. I enjoyed sitting on the sidelines watching my 3 DD's play games and sports (I was there biggest cheerleader) but now I can join in on the fun and it's a whole new experience for me.

Weight and self image is such a tricky thing.  I avoided dating at times due to being judged.  I have been talking with a friend about how hard it is to date and that it is still difficult for me to figure out that I am no longer seen as fat.   I now need to "get out there" and still hesitate. 

Janet, I would love to hear about how the hypnotherapy goes.  I am continuing to work on my dependence on food and two authors that are helpful are Dr Jennifer Beck and Susan Albers (she writes about mindful eating).

Gina, Kay, and Roz, yout stories are heart breaking in so many ways but embrace the new successes in your lives. And Gina, you would've made a great full bird!!!  

Happy Sunday and Peace to the Whitneys in the world.

~~Jennifer

You described my life perfectly.  I avoided people at all costs.  When I did go into public I used to say a prayer "God, please do not let me see anyone I know."  My husband was also very self-conscious about my weight.  As a result, even when I weighed less, it was an issue.  He worked for a company that threw a lavish Christmas party every year.  He worked for them 15 years, and we did not go one time.  He was embarrassed by my weight, and I completely internalized how he felt.  It compounded how I felt.  On top of that I am legally blind and am usually the "bull in the china cabinet" when it comes to being steady in a crowd.  Chances are I will knock something over...person or inanimate object.  My weight and eyesight have held me back for most of my adult life, in one form or another.  I thank God each and every day for this life saving surgery.  I cannot express how much freedom I feel going into a store, no make-up, socks with flip-flops if it is for one item and its cold, mis-matched clothes.  I don't care because I am finally comfortable in my skin...saggy but comfortable

Hi Kay...

Your question sure got me thinking....I avoided events and people cause it made me feel like the fattest lady in the room!!  I lacked confidence and my self esteem was in the toilet!!  I hated shopping for clothes...It depressed me!!  I had few close friends that I related to..I hid behind my weight...but through it all my family and my husband stood by me...

Fast forward to today and 110 lbs off...Im out there and lovin life again.  I have a new positive attitude and my self esteem is right up there...I walk everyday and shopping for clothes is a real treat.  I thank the Specialist who cared enough to put my feet on the path to weight loss surgery!!  He doesnt know it but he probly saved my life!!

My weight loss surgery was the best decision of my life...it doesnt come without sacrifices...everyday is a challenge with protein, vites and fluids but all so worth it...I love my DS!

Wow, lots to think about.  First, Whitney.  There but for the grace of God.  I am an addict.  The what isn't really important.  That can change depending on my mood and the availability.  Some of what I have been addicted to are food, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, sex, spending, you name it.  If it ever made me feel good, forget my problems or helped me cope I abused it.  Anything I got pleasure from I squeezed until the last drop was gone and kept going until I was miserable and bent on making everyone in my life miserable, too.  I held on until I couldn't hold on any more.  I never stopped until I had no choice in a lot of ways.  Either the price had become too high physically, emotionally or financially or any combination of the above.
My addictions have cost me everything in life at one point or another.
I only stopped when the money was gone, my health was gone, my family was gone, my friends were gone, when I had no options left.  I did things to feed my addictions that I am not proud of, that I hope nobody ever knows about.  I should be dead, sick, on the streets, in jail, alienated from my family and/or over 300 lbs.  I am not today and that is the grace of God.