Good Morning. Somebody punch me

glzgowlass
on 10/27/11 2:38 am - VA

Hope you like a wee bit o Scottish humour!

Jock was returning home from the pub, smelling like a distillery.
He flopped on a bus seat next to a priest. His tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of whiskey was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

Then he asked the priest,
"Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Well my son, it's the result of loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much whisky and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well I'll be damned!" Jock muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, feeling a little guilty, said, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't, Father. But I was just reading here that the Pope does.

HW: 218, SW: 204, CW: 139 GW: 112-119

lerkhart
on 10/27/11 3:02 am

RNY on 08/03/09

Wakey wakey that is what I used to tell my kids and now tell my DGD's. I also tickle them so here is a "tickle tickle" for you too!!

I'm traveling today and my parents are coming to spend the night on their way to Florida. So another busy day!!

Hope you get some rest tonight.

I enjoyed the funny's,

Linda

14.5 lost pre-surgery 5'1 1/2"

Ladytazz
on 10/27/11 3:12 am

For some reason I thought this was the funniest thing I ever saw.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

melizabeth
on 10/27/11 4:09 am - CA

RNY on 09/20/11

Gina,
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Elizabeth

PS. I have been having a difficult time sleeping too. I was wondering if it was because I drink a protein shake before bed? I can't figure it out. I'm not worried about contracts but I'm tossing and turning at night. UGH!

Melizabeth

RYN 9/20/11--HW 211--CW120--Extended TT 3/7/13

GOAL Weight 120 met 18 months post op

Price S.
on 10/27/11 11:08 am - Mills River, NC

RNY on 09/09/10

I have a protein shake before bed every night and have no problem sleeping, except that I have to get up to pee because of the extra liquid.

66 yrs young, 4'11" hw 220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance

Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board. the Lightweight Board

PekinSal
on 10/27/11 5:52 am - UK

DS on 04/05/08

Gina

Look at my lovely new puppy and stop worrying...xxx

DS revision from failed lapband

MajorMom
on 10/27/11 6:29 am - VA

DS on 08/09/07

Awww....I love her! Or, is she a he? Very sweet. How big will she get?

It's so good to see you post, Sal.

--gina

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny

PekinSal
on 10/27/11 6:44 am - UK

DS on 04/05/08

He's a he, we only got him yesterday. He is a dogue de bordeaux and will get to about 150lbs, so I'm starting with the weights again...

I lurk nowadays - no-one on the DS board I know, I feel like I'm intruding!

DS revision from failed lapband

MajorMom
on 10/27/11 6:52 am - VA

DS on 08/09/07

Most of them have gone to Facebook. Do you have an account? I can add you to a couple of groups there. We have a LW Facebook group as well but most of us stay here on OH.

--g

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny

PekinSal
on 10/27/11 6:55 am - UK

DS on 04/05/08

I do - I'll message you, that would be lovely if you don't mind

xx

DS revision from failed lapband

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