WLS and a midlife crisis

Ok, I am actually kidding. I am 46 years old. Live in a small town. Have successfully shrunk 6 sizes in the last year (And possibly 7, as I do fit into 2's). I feel good about myself and it shows in what I wear. And due to my age, I need to add that I shop in misses NOT juniors (only so my 20 year old daughter doesn't feel put out by me).

Well, as the world turns in a small town, everyone seems to know I had WLS. I am sure it's not breaking news but WHAT gives a person the right to state their thoughts to ME when I didn't ask??!?
I had a neighboring hairdresser (That is small AND I get along with) tell me to my face she thinks I should eat more fat!....... Ok, 1st of all, she has never seen me eat! I told her "I have it under control. She must be mistaking me for someone with an eating disorder".

I later heard she thinks I am having a "mid life crises". I am annoyed beyond words. I also will let it go, but needed to vent for a minute (thanks guys! ). I am also hearing of those whose opinion is I "cheated" and of course the famous "She wasn't BIG enough"... well if I wasn't THAT big then why is everyone NOTICING how small I am now, Huh ?

For those of you who get to live with complete anonymity, God Bless You! This is why I love floating in a mall in a city where no one knows me and just accepts that I am a woman who happens to be small.

I understand now why so many of us want to keep WLS a secret. I initially did too, to keep from being scrutinized while I was adjusting to this new lifestyle! I no longer care who knows HOW I got thin, but their need to state their opinions to my face, or to my sister or best friend actually baffles me.

Ok, vent over. THANKS and have an awesome Sunday everyone.

I hear you and it makes me shake my head. lol  My mother is the one that got me. Spread the word throughout her church to anyone that would listen or she thought might benefit from WLS. Oh, boy. Good thing we live 5 hours away. lol

--gina

For the most part I have chosen not to tell people I had WLS.  For one thing, when I had my first WLS in 2002 I told everyone who would listen and then had to endure the humiliation of regain.  I felt like such a failure.  I couldn't even keep weight off with surgery.  Those who knew about my first WLS I told that I was having a revision to help with side effects, which was true.  For those I didn't know in 2002 or I didn't tell at that time I just said I was having surgery for stomach problems.  I guess I just don't want to be known as the person for whom WLS didn't work.
Of course if I know someone who may benefit from WLS I tell them my story.  And my family and close friends know.  I can't say I live in a small town but I travel in a pretty small circle and I don't like being the subject of anyone's speculation. 
Last night I went to a social event, one of the first I have gone to outside of family in years.  I ran into a lot of people I hadn't seen for a while.  I can't tell you how many people said to me "Wow, you've lost weight.  Are you alright?".  Makes me want to avoid people for sure.  I just tell them I am fine and I am working on regaining some weight.  I hope someday no one will think to mention my weight.  I understand that people care but it really isn't anyone's business what I weigh.

Thanks Gina, and Tazz. I think we all fear being the one who WLS didn't work for. In fact, around my town everyone seems to like to point out who is suffering a regain, or who looks absolutely "terrible".

I too am worried that I could regain down the road, I mean up until this point nothing in the past ever worked! I am not sure why this is so touchy a subject for me. Or for a lot of us? Maybe because of all the past struggles, and now that something so extreme as surgery and everyone's rapt attention? I feel like there are people who just wait to see a person "fail" so they have something else to talk about.

And it also amazes me how many people are so quick to say I am too thin when a BMI graph has me at a nice "normal" weight, I usually say "BOTH my primary doctor AND surgeon are very happy with where I am so right now I am not worrying and neither should anyone else".

Jeesh

I have seen several folks this weekend that I hadn't seen for a few months.  Everyone raved about how much weight I had lost.  Really!!! over those few months, I have lost maybe 10-15lbs.  What about the 90 before that?  Do those last 10-15 lbs really make that much difference????

And I am getting the "don't lose anymore" stuff all the time.  They think I am thin, they should see me naked. That is really scarey.

I do think me having WLS was part of a mid-life crisis. But that doesn't make it a bad thing. It's certainly more constructive than buying a sports car with money I don't have or having an affair! LOL

I just tell people I did WLS for my health, which is true. And I share about my new lease on life. And the hard work of dieting and exercise and vitamin supplementation that it is. And point out that it takes a lot of courage to permanently rearrange one's insides.