keeping my WLS journey from friends and family

am i wrong to want to keep my WLS journey to myself and my hubby ?? i just feel that it's not any of their business and i don't want any negative criticism which is what i'd get from ALL of them , since 3/4 of them are heavier then me.


i guess since i have my hubby on my side and supporting me through this and all of you my dear OH and lightweights friends i can get through this WLS

The only people who knew about my surgery were my husband, daughters and 1 sister-in-law who had her RNY 9 months before me. I wasn't trying to hide it, a lot of people know now. I just didn't want to hear the crap before I had it done. This website has been a God send for a lot of us and I'm glad it's here!

I told my family and that is it...if I had to take it back I would probably have done it differently...just didn't want to get asked by everyone how much I had loss all the time and what not..figured it wasn't really any of their business..but lately I have had coworkers ask if I am anoxeric :) so like I said I kind of regret not just telling everyone in the first place...

the only ones that knew about my surgery is my hubby, son/daughter-in-law, my boss and 1 coworker, and a few very close friends.  its a very personal decision and i chose not to share because no matter how nice people are....they have no idea how i feel and what the weight had done to me physically and emotionally.  i had some negativity from a friend that knew (during the approval process) so i didn't tell her when i had the surgery.  she found out after the fact.  you will get advice from everyone you tell and that's something i didn't want.  i was actually going to tell folks at first but when my friend that i thought would totally understand came at me with "why not just discipline yourself and lose the weight?" i decided not to share any longer.  nobody else knew how i felt afer yo yo dieting for 30+ years only to be heavier than i'd ever been so they were not equipped to give me any advice or opinions.

one of my friends told it and i was angry for a bit but then i decided that i knew she had a hard time keeping things to herself so it was my fault.....asking her to keep it confidential was like asking a leopard to change it's spots so i had only myself to blame....

its a very personal decision that only you can make.

best wishes on your journey!!!

thanks ladies, i have decided that it will be kept a secret and if they decide to criticise about all the weight loss then i'll worry about it when the time comes but i certainly don't think i will tell it was from a WLS i'll have to tell them i am a strict diet which truly i will be though after the WLS , i hate to lie but there is NO way i'm telling them i had WLS....

Its a private decision and who you want to share it with is important. Keep the negative nellie's out of your path.

Good luck

My children and 2 bf know, thats all.

It's a very personal decision.  It's wonderful your dear hubby is so supportive!  Tell only those you want to.

Here's what I did. I told my extended family and close friends. I did get some "just exercise and eat less, don't risk your life going through surgery."  I finally wrote out a six page document describing how being overweight affected my physical and emotional health and limited my life, the risks and benefits of surgery, and the qualifications of my surgeon. If anyone gave me any grief, I just gave them that document. None of them knew enough about WLS to come back with anything after that.

However, I didn't tell anyone at work. Bad enough that they knew I was out for a medical leave. 

I did get a lot of support when I actually went into surgery and during recovery. I was very happy to realize how much people cared about me. Emails, calls, cards and flowers lifted my spirits.

If acquaintences or co-workers ask how I am losing so much weight, I just tell them I don't eat much;  I am limiting carbs and concentrating on protein.  If they ask about fruits and vegtables, I just tell them I'm taking vitamins under the supervision of my doctor. All true.

you ladies have all been very supportive of my decision, i have decided to still keep it a secret from everyone , the only one who matters the most to me (husband)  in my life knows what is going to happen and thats all that matters..  

my kids are only 4 and 9 so they are much tooo  young to understand so they will be kept in the dark as much as possible about the whole thing, not sure how i am going to explain a hospital stay, hoping maybe i can have an outpatient WLS, is that even a possibility ???

I pick and chose who I told about my surgery. A few people that did find out, whether by me telling them or someone else saying something, were negative. I had one co-worker say I lost my weight naturally, you are cheating. What the hell is that???? I eat just as healthy if not healthier and this is a hard lifestyle to get used to and maintain. I struggled with my weight for so many years and she knows it because she has known me for over 10 years. It is a personal decision and if I had to do it again, I'm not sure I would tell too many people. I still at times do not tell people what I have done. They are folks that I only see once in a great while. When they see me and ask me how I have lost all this weight, I tell them the truth - by watching my food intake and carbs/protein and portion sizes, which is the truth, but not all the truth. I am not ashamed of what I have done by any means. I am happy that I had the surgery. I feel 20 years younger and so much better.

You have to make the decision that is best for you. Good luck in your journey.