My feelings got hurt

 So well said. Thanks for speaking for me. 

 AMEN!!! That was well put!!! 

AMEN SISTER!!!

 I posted a question over a week ago asking what to do about friends who are giving me a hard time about having surgery and the responses were overwhelmingly supportive. As "lightweights" we are already at a place where some of the more obese WLS candidates wish they could be at and I truly think that person's comment stemmed from jealousy and maybe having a bad day, or maybe a combo of both. I also think that coming to the forum for support on this issue is such a healthy way to handle it rather than getting discouraged. Since I received all the wonderful replies and words of encouragement from the members I have felt more pumped than ever about having my surgery on Aug 1st. I think it takes courage and self-respect to make the decision to change your life in the name of your health and even though you and the person who made that comment are at different starting weights, you both have a common goal which is to loose the weight and get healthy. If she wants to try to rain on your parade, don't let her. She may change on the outside, but if she is a miserable person on the inside she may not be happy regardless and that is in no way your fault. Good luck with everything!

Thanks everybody! I feel much better now! I know the reasons I have for having this surgery. My pcp and my surgeon both support my decision. Other than my family, no other opinions matter.I  will have to work just as hard for every pound lost as the people who have more to lose than I do. Maybe even harder because I don't have as much to lose. I will earn my new skinnier healthier life after surgery!

I'm tired of feeling guilty, too, and feeling like I have to justify my reasons for having this surgery! My doctors all agree that this is the best option for me to get and stay healthy. From now on, that's all I'm going to feel the need to share with those that question weather I'm "obese enough" to need this! Thanks for the great support! You guys are THE BEST!!!

This is one of the reasons I love this forum....no one questions your damn weight!  I have said several times through this process that I never knew I was too thin in the fat world yet fat in the thin world.  One thing I KNOW, I still have a ways to go, but I would NEVER be at my current weight without this surgery. I also know that I tried VERY, VERY hard for many years to try to control my weight.  Because of that constant fight I somehow never got to the high, high weight that others do.  I have received a few looks before at the support group I go to as well as at a workshop I attended...I try to just remember that this is MY journey, I met all of the pre-op requirements and NOONE professionally in the preop process questioned why I was doing this.

Hang in there....you are SO not alone in dealing with this.



~~Jennifer

 Theres  a really WEIRD  disconnect between some of the  higher weight people and the ones they see  as " barbies "  particularly in women ... and THEN ...  U just have many wonderful formerly very heavy  people who dont see size at all  but all of us as human beings  .. struggling ;) and living to the best of  our ability .  Maybe its a matter of emotional maturity and acceptance .  

Funny  sometimes I think I can relate to both categories because i  WAS  socially outcast as a child- not only because i was the  Regrigerator Perry of  my class  through the eighth grade  ( but BOY  could I push a football sled lol ! ) but because my parents me to school in mortifying outdated  hand me downs  from their friends  ... so they wouldn't have to spend a penny on me . 

And then my Father  shaved my head  once .. when I  dared ask  for permission (  in the seventh grade )  to shave under my arms  .. I probably looked like that  retarded guy in  Full Metal Jacket. ... 

I Know  my classmates thought I  was virtually retarded  and it pained me GREATLY  every day  to the point  that I didn't want to go to school  ...  many times I  just turned around and came home and let myself in with my key and read all day .  

I was SUPER  lucky  that my teachers allowed me to take my exams and didn't  make too much  of a fuss about  my absences ...  ( i have a feeling that had something to do with the principal ..who  came to my house  tryingto help , encountered my Father and  tried to help me get away  after that ..) 

so  I  can understand the suffering of a kid and young adult trapped in hundreds of pounds of fat from which theres  no possibility of escape or parole ..  

of course I too suffered  but at least I COULD  do sports ...  I COULD  do musicals .. I may not have been the same size as everyone in my class  but adults at least saw me as pretty  and acceptable looking , not freakish . 

and maybe I can understand this woman's  deep seated anger  because  unlike  YOU and I  she  knows she will never be able to achieve society's " ideal "  look no matter how hard she tries... 

In a sense this  is also my husband's  issue ... and  I think suspect he hates and resents me on some level because  I look desireable and "normal"  and he was  and remains out of shape .  I think on some level he feels  ANY  abuse or mistreatment of me  is fair  ... he doesnt see me as a person ,  just like my parents  didn't .

I'm sorry you had to experience that but you had a great comeback and that's something I wouldn't have been able to do.  I had a bad experience on OH early out and I was so relieved when I found the LW's. Those fewnasty  comments put ideas in my mind that I hadn't thought of before.  I also used to sit away from everyone at the surgeon's office because I didn't want anyone to ask me if I had surgery or how much I lost.  I didn't go to any support meetings either because of how I felt after this bad OH experience. 

Peoples opinions do seem to change once you get to goal.  Now they see the success I've achieved instead of the "tool"  that got me here.

(((HUGS)))

I know this is crass, but I responded one time in such a way as to make the person STFU...  I said, "Perhaps if my arms were longer, like yours are, I would have still been able to keep wiping my bottom for another hundred pounds and you wouldn't be critizing my decision.  As it was, I had an earlier wake up call than you did and that's the only difference between our weight issues!  END of conversation."

Ruthie, That is sooo funny! I'll have to remember that one for my next support group meeting!