My feelings got hurt

At my support group, we were talking about goal setting. when the group ended I went out into the lobby area and sat down while my husband shut down his computer and packed up to go. when a group of ladies came out I jokingly said that one of my goals is to be able to sit comfortably in the chair. One of the ladies turned around and said, "Some of us can't sit in those chairs at all. You shouldn't complain!"  Earlier in the group the same lady told me that I wasn't obese enough to need the surgery. That I should just work out more and eat less. I asked her how that had worked out for her. 

I never expected that I would get picked on for not being fat enough! If I keep gaining the way I have in the past year I will be 2 or 3 hundred pounds overweight. I feel like I'm taking control of my health now by having this surgery, but most people think that because I'm a lightweight that I'm taking the easy way out. i know i shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you handle it?

Sorry you went through that.
I did experience that on OH. I had pm's sent to me asking why was I having rny becasue I ONLY have 75-80 pounds to lose.

How insensitive.  We are all on this journey to better ourselves.  We're not competing against each other.  Luckily I have not had this problem.  I am so sorry you had to put up with that in a group where you were hoping to get support.  Hugs. Lin

I would say to her,in front of the whole group:

Those kinds of remarks are hurtful to me. Just because I don't have as much to lose as you do,doesn't mean I am not as worthy of surgery as you are. I would appreciate it if you would keep those kinds of comments about me to yourself in the future."

If being nice didn't work,them I would tell her to "STFU!" and to mind her own business.

sorry you were hurt
H

"I asked her how that had worked out for her. "

Good for you!

I had some potential pre-op's dad question me about why I bothered to have surgery to "only" lose 100 pounds. The entire group jumped down his throat to defend me. I love my support group!

I've had the suggestion a time or two that I wasn't big enough for surgery but I have pointed out that 100 extra lbs over my 4'11" frame is like 200 over a taller person.  And then, since most of my friends have horses or dogs, how they would like to carry around an extra couple of full feed sacks all the time.  Puts it in perspective for them.  They mostly knew that I go to Curves, work at the farm and am active.  It wasn't working for me.

(((((((((((((((((jspencer)))))))))))))))), I am sorry you had that happen. Good for you for standing up tho asking how it worked for her.

IF it happens again, stand up in the group and tell the person that you have as much right to the surgery as they do based on your insurance, the surgeon, and your pcp. That you will go with their medical experience not personal opinions that have no medical basis. And to just keep her opinion to herself. (Southern way of telling someone to STFU).

Liz

Oh yes... had comments made to me too... 

I think your come back was right on the spot.  Some people don't have a filter on their mouths.  Don't let it affect you and move on.  You know you deserve this as much as the next person.

. I asked her how that had worked out for her.



GOOD FOR YOU!!! it totally stinks that this occured at a Support Group meeting! I have had people ask why I was bothering with a Lap Band with only 80# to lose, and why dont I just try eating less and exercising more. Jerks...

 I am tired of feeling guilty for being thin or for having surgery and being told it's the easy way .
I wake up EVERY morning and commit myself to a day of clean eating and excercise . WE ALL DO.
We ALL dieted down to our current weight. We ALL had MAJOR surgery to achieve this goal. We put our bodies and souls through this which took a huge comitment and courage, despite all the people who told us we would die from surgery or it wouldn't work or we were lazy. We take our vitamins, drink our water, watch our food intake EVERY DAY for the rest of our lives. We EARNED our bodies ...we did not get them the easy way. In fact I would argue that we did a very courageous thing and did whatever was necessary to deal with our obesity. So I am not going to feel like I was LUCKY or
somehow got this body for free. I EARN it every day...every meal....every mile on the treadmill....every choice I make at night on the couch... so don't tell me it's easy...and don't tell me I was not fat enough...pick up a 50 pound bag of dog food and then put 20 more pounds on that and tell me that's not lots of weight to carry around...have a great day lightweights...we should be called "lessweights" hahahah...SEAVIEW