Weak and tired before surgery....

which really concerns me when thinking about recovering. I don't have my date yet for the DS, but it is should be by the end of July or so.  My BMI is somewhere between 35-36 depending on how many quarters are in my pocket at the weigh in.  I am having to pay $30K minimum self pay because husband's employer says you have to have a BMI of 40 for 5 years.  I really hope the surgery will help my sleep apnea because I can't sleep with that evil machine.

I have sleep apnea and have tried every mask etc. and sleep worse with the machine so I am not using in.  I also have insomnia so take either clonopin or Lunesta to sleep which I think makes my apnea worse.  I have to fight not to go to bed when I want to be out in the sun.  I have tried melatonin before, but I had crazy dreams and it did not last all night and I woke up and could not sleep.  I know it is crazy that as tired as I am, I can still have insomnia.  I have also tried benadryl and might try it again, but it dries out my sinuses.  If I could just sleep well without any meds, I probably would not be so tired the next day and have less apnea.  Ugg, it is just a horrible feeling  to struggle so much to get going every day.

On another note..you know when you are not feeling well, things bother you more?  Well, I get sad when I miss out of things because I am tired.   A lot of people at my church have been praying for me because I have had health issues we were trying hard to get diagnosed and had to go to Mayo.  I have IC Interstitial Cystitis and autoimmune related stuff.  Anyway, a few times I have stayed home and sent my hubby and kids on to church without me.  Every time that happens there are women that come ask him how I am doing, recommend whatever vitamins they think are the magic pill etc.  What bothers me is that these same women see me all of the other weeks that I am there and don't ask ME how I am.  Of course, my friends do, but these are ladies that I just know on a real casual basis. They will tell my hubby they are praying for me etc....why didn't they just tell me the week before when I was there? I guess I am feeling insecure, about them..not my hubby. He always tells me and often their husbands are there too, but I just get insecure that people will think he is the poor husband with a sick and now overweight wife.  I would not think that at all if these particular women said these things to ME, all of the times that I am there. 

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble and I guess I will be working hard after surgery to drag my recovering self to all of the functions to beat the ladies off of my hubby.haha. He is quiet and doesn't really like the attention by any means.  I am so fortunate to have him.

I just need a BIG dose of encouragement to get my strength up before surgery so it will help with recovery.  I stopped caffeine, am taking vitamins and trying to make myself walk and swim.  Sometimes I even walk laps around the pool while my kids swim.  It looks funny, but any movement is good:)

I am so glad I found the light weight board! I almost got chewed up with my very first post on a different page because of my LW status..even though everyone says they wished they had their surgery earlier when they may have been lighter too.....

Happy 4th, Mel

Have you had your Vit D tested? I found all my sleep related and tired issues were because I was EXTREMELY low in D.... I was prior to surgery and still am 11 mo out. Good Luck oh and those women are just saving face, they dont really care just want you to think they do.

Stacey is right, Vit D can make you really tired.  I think my energy level improved dramatically once mine got up.  Stopping caffeine is wonderful but it can leave you tired for a while. 

I hated my Cpac but did finally find a mask I could sleep with.  Sorry you are having such trouble.  It did take me several trys to find one that works.  The good news is that now I don't need it anymore.

Here is hoping you get some stuff straightened out.  Good luck.

Hang tough, (((Mel))).  Concentrate on following Vitalady's pre-op ideas-- boost those vitamins and protein and keep making yourself move. What you're doing sounds like you're doing those things pretty well. What I take for sleeping is the stuff in Benadryl but without the allergy stuff. SleepyTime is the name. 

I can relate to the isolation, pain and depression pre-op. It will get better...well, after the hormones dump post-op. Hmm..maybe it will get a little worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better. (I'm trying to get you to smile. Work with me. )  And then, the WOWs start coming and you'll be able to celebrate watching the scale go down, the comorbidities going away, clothes sizes heading into single digits and the woohoo glances your hubby gives you as he starts to notice the difference in your bearing and confidence level.

Be strong, babeeee! Eye on the goal.

--gina