OT I Need a Time Out, Pretty Long

That seems like such BS!! Is she deliberately trying to pick at you? To passive-aggressively show her opinion? I don't know your sister at all, obviously, but it seems like she's being deliberately cruel.

I've been on Medicaid before, for the sole reason of my kids having medical care. My husband was working his butt off in our small business and we couldn't afford medical coverage. He and I weren't covered, as attested to by our thousands of dollars of debt for medical bills. But my kids were covered. Does that make us lazy layabouts? 

Nobody can cast judgment on those in the system. Yes, there are bad apples. Of course there are. But there are those who are using the system for all the right reasons, the reason the system was put in place to begin with.

God forbid she ever need help. 

Sorry, I've had this argument with folks before and it gets my back up.

 Yeah, me too.  My sister has an amazing lack of compassion.  Even though she lost her job due to the recession and was out of work for a long time she still thinks I should be able to go out and find a job.  She knows what it is like out there and she had her previous job for over 30 years and she has a college degree.  

 Id  ignore it right now  until U get Ur money  and  maybe  give her a pass cuz shes grieving .... but  those  were mean things to say  ...  grrrr

I think your sister is answering your email with her baggage.  Let it go.  Everyone is greiving and it isn't worth the bad feeelings.

I am concerned about this push for you to get the paperwork done.  Yes, the broker will need all 3 beneficiaries signatures to get the account processed to you and your siblings.

Why do you have to put it in another Edward Jones account?  Is that where you want the money to go?  It sounds like a way for them to charge you a fee to set up an account and make money on you.  You should be able to have the money sent to any account you want to.  It doesn't have to be a brokerage account.  It could be a savings account at a bank.  It could be your investment company.  I don't know the situation, but it feels like the Edward Jones office is pressuring you into an account you may not want or need.

I was a finiancial advisor for a year and have been out of the business for a while, my information could be dated. 

Don't jump into this blind and do what is right for you.
 
Kay

 I was wondering about the account, too.  My sister did tell me that in the paperwork they ask for a voided check to deposit the money directly into my own checking account so hopefully that will bypass having to have an account with them.
I am supposed to give the lady with Edward Jones in California a call today and I will ask her about that.

I would ask her (lady at Edwards Jones) what the fee is to transfer the account out of Edwards Jones in California (after one is opened for you) to one in Oregon where you live.  Or to simply close out the account and issue you a cheque.

I work for a financial planner (in Canada) and all companies here charge a fee to transfer/close accounts. Sometimes if the accounts are very large the company that it's being transferred in to will reimburse the client for the transfer fees.

I don't think your sister is listening to you at all so I wouldn't worry so much about her answers. She is answering the questions she is hearing in her head. And maybe she is getting pressure from other people (Andy?) and is responding to everyone based on that pressure.

For the accounts, Edwards Jones should be able to help you without you setting up an account there. They want you to set up an account because they will make money off your money even if it sits there for only a day. That would be their payment for helping you. (Their branch won't get the credit if you have the account with another branch.) You can see their point, but you don't *have* to have the account there and, given that opening one up will make your sister go ballistic, it's not worth it.

While I would let most of it go, I do think it is worth trying to get her to actually listen to you. You can simply say something like: Why do you keep telling me that I don't have to come there when I never ever said anything about coming there? Are you listening to me because you haven't answered my question and we've exchanged 5 emails now.

That will get her attention. Then you can say. I NEED HELP WITH THE PAPERWORK. (Which seems to be the big issue for you.) If you don't want me to open an account here where I live and you don't want me to come to you, then tell l me how to get the help I need.

I think a direct question like that will throw her off her script and make her think about her answer instead of repetitively repeating the same non-answer over and over. Plus, it's more direct than "I want to do X, is that okay" because clearly X is not okay with her (for whatever reason) and every time she sees a description of X, she seems to have some sort of psychotic reaction. LOL

 I actually spoke with the person from Edward Jones in California today.  She was very helpful.  She asked a lot of questions over the phone and said I could call her if I have any more questions.  She did say that they have to open accounts for each of us and then they will deposit the money in my checking account.  I am sure they do that so, like you said, the branch will make some money off of this.
Anyway, I am going to have as little contact with my sister as I can.  We need to settle this and apparently my sister found some kind of annuity at my mother's house that names her, me and my brother so after that is settled I hopefully won't have to have much more contact with  her. 
There is no point in trying to reason with her.  She is very closed minded and is not very good at seeing other peoples points of view.  She is always right and always better then me.  That is the way it always was and always will be, if I continue to have a relationship with her.  To tell you the truth, if she wasn't my sister I wouldn't bother to even deal with her.  It's sad that now that my parents are gone none of us will probably have much to do with each other.  I think it may have to do with the way we were raised, to pretty much be in competition with each other.  I was always being compared to my brother and sister and the same with them.  It doesn't do much to foster a loving sibling relationship.  I am so glad that my boys are best friends.  The girls, that is another matter but I guess that is the way girls are.

Sounds like you are going to get the help you need on the paperwork so that's good.

I understand about the competition. In my case, my parents didn't deliberately raise us to compete, but attention and resources were limited. So we had to compete just to get what we needed. I don't think it helped that we were all girls and only 2 years apart. If we had been a mix of boys and girls and/or with more space between us, our needs wouldn't have been so similar and there would have been less competition. 

Or so I speculate. ;-)