waiting for the squash vine borer
(deactivated member)
on 6/29/11 9:08 pm, edited 6/29/11 10:04 pm
on 6/29/11 9:08 pm, edited 6/29/11 10:04 pm
So its almost July 4th weekend and the garden is entering its second , summer phase . The bolted lettuces and spinach plants have been dug in along with excess jerusalem artichoke volunteeers ( minus the roots .... oh theyre PERSISTENT little things - great for breaking up soil lol ) and weeds ... and mulch has been laid over and new winter squash and pumpkin plants seeded in their rows .
The original squash plants I started from seed under lights are ENORMOUS and gorgeous - pattypan and delicata and summer spaghetti and a few new ones .... but I know a few weeks from now here will come the telltale white butterflies of the squash vine borers .. and they will be dead . At least this is how it worked in past years . ( thats why I seed the second crop which produces till frost )
Im thinking of trying something new ... throwing a microfiber shield over the existing plants and seeing what happens .... maybe I can prevent them from landing or even SEEING my squash. Wouldn't that be cool - to save the nine foot vines ? ( the borers larvae enter the vine at the base and kill the whole thing just eating a few bites of the inside grrrr.... )
Im thinking this is an excellent analogy for my marriage as well .... I made the decision not to walk away with the clothes on my back deliberately . Ive had to sacrifice a TREMENDOUS amount this year of my own income and projects to save and resave and resave that house which my husband sabotaged . I wont say necessarily deliberately ... probably MEANLY , carelessly and UNCARINGLY .
He has told me plainly he doesn't care a BIT about me . or the devastation this ( totally unecessary and ultimately only because of his secretive actions and lies futile) struggle has wreaked in my life . I absolutely BELIEVE him 100% .
Which does not mean that he wont act in his own best interest right now and buy another house - preferably one which I HATE .
Thats the kind of guy he is . ( a squash vine borer if there ever was one lol
)
Its in my best interest to allow him to do so , to finally do some paying art , and then well see if we can possibly get along .. maybe in different wings . Anyway his Father really needs a place to live with family ... so our sturm und drang can't be allowed to dominate the situation.. HIS needs have to come first . He's a WONDERFUL guy by the way ...
The original squash plants I started from seed under lights are ENORMOUS and gorgeous - pattypan and delicata and summer spaghetti and a few new ones .... but I know a few weeks from now here will come the telltale white butterflies of the squash vine borers .. and they will be dead . At least this is how it worked in past years . ( thats why I seed the second crop which produces till frost )
Im thinking of trying something new ... throwing a microfiber shield over the existing plants and seeing what happens .... maybe I can prevent them from landing or even SEEING my squash. Wouldn't that be cool - to save the nine foot vines ? ( the borers larvae enter the vine at the base and kill the whole thing just eating a few bites of the inside grrrr.... )
Im thinking this is an excellent analogy for my marriage as well .... I made the decision not to walk away with the clothes on my back deliberately . Ive had to sacrifice a TREMENDOUS amount this year of my own income and projects to save and resave and resave that house which my husband sabotaged . I wont say necessarily deliberately ... probably MEANLY , carelessly and UNCARINGLY .
He has told me plainly he doesn't care a BIT about me . or the devastation this ( totally unecessary and ultimately only because of his secretive actions and lies futile) struggle has wreaked in my life . I absolutely BELIEVE him 100% .
Which does not mean that he wont act in his own best interest right now and buy another house - preferably one which I HATE .
Thats the kind of guy he is . ( a squash vine borer if there ever was one lol
)Its in my best interest to allow him to do so , to finally do some paying art , and then well see if we can possibly get along .. maybe in different wings . Anyway his Father really needs a place to live with family ... so our sturm und drang can't be allowed to dominate the situation.. HIS needs have to come first . He's a WONDERFUL guy by the way ...
Ava - I can't help you regarding the bugs. Do you have an extension office there? We have one through Michigan State University where we can call with different questions/solutions and they try and help.
As far as the marriage goes - its TOXIC and you knew it could be before you got married. Its not good for you physically or emotionally and sounds like you're throwing yourself back to the type of relationship you had with your parents.
You're better than this. Its not YOUR father either that you're trying to get a house for.
Take care of yourself dear...
As far as the marriage goes - its TOXIC and you knew it could be before you got married. Its not good for you physically or emotionally and sounds like you're throwing yourself back to the type of relationship you had with your parents.
You're better than this. Its not YOUR father either that you're trying to get a house for.
Take care of yourself dear...
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
(deactivated member)
on 6/29/11 10:20 pm, edited 6/30/11 2:42 am
on 6/29/11 10:20 pm, edited 6/30/11 2:42 am
the microfiber is see through and very large so it really might be more effective but thanks for the suggestion Stacey .
I HAVE actually thought of using layers of newspaper under my woodchip mulch as a very effective weedblocker / soil softener though .... especially on super tough root filled virgin soil thats almost impossible to dig or de-weed I hear it works really well ....
I think we're pretty close to buying a house . If it doesnt work this time for whatever reason it'll definitely be sayonara ...
. But I just can't IMAGINE him being that much of an idiot ... its SOO not in his best financial interest to sit on his hands and do that .... between the tax write off he gets for the mortgage ... and the down payment which is a capital gains ...
lets put it this way its a quarter million dollar GIFT ... with a recurring gift of about 60 grand a year from the government ...
the taxes are SO HIGH here in NY state and in long island in particular that it PAYS BIG to buy real estate .... particularly if you have your own corporation .... .
the funny thing is he doesn't UNDERSTAND all this because the corporation and the accounts were basically gifted to him by his Father ...who has the financial understanding . the SON who I married does NOT
. So no matter how matter how many times we EXPLAIN it he doesnt GET it and hes a financial minefield on FEET ....
I HAVE actually thought of using layers of newspaper under my woodchip mulch as a very effective weedblocker / soil softener though .... especially on super tough root filled virgin soil thats almost impossible to dig or de-weed I hear it works really well ....
I think we're pretty close to buying a house . If it doesnt work this time for whatever reason it'll definitely be sayonara ...
. But I just can't IMAGINE him being that much of an idiot ... its SOO not in his best financial interest to sit on his hands and do that .... between the tax write off he gets for the mortgage ... and the down payment which is a capital gains ...lets put it this way its a quarter million dollar GIFT ... with a recurring gift of about 60 grand a year from the government ...
the taxes are SO HIGH here in NY state and in long island in particular that it PAYS BIG to buy real estate .... particularly if you have your own corporation .... .
the funny thing is he doesn't UNDERSTAND all this because the corporation and the accounts were basically gifted to him by his Father ...who has the financial understanding . the SON who I married does NOT
. So no matter how matter how many times we EXPLAIN it he doesnt GET it and hes a financial minefield on FEET .... (deactivated member)
on 6/30/11 1:37 am, edited 6/30/11 2:48 am
on 6/30/11 1:37 am, edited 6/30/11 2:48 am
I totally hear what Ur saying dear Jody and deeply thank U for caring and Ur good advice 
.
I too see the shocking !!
similarity with my own incredibly nasty and uncaring and selfish family ... do you know this man who makes over ten times more than me hasn't seen fit to give me a CHRISTAMAS present , a credit card , a birthday present , a hannukah present , aPENNY of HOUSEHOLD money even in the whole year we've been MARRIED ..YEP ... andhe has gotten SO MUCH from me ..its not even funny ..and not even a sincere gesture showing thanks or appreciation ...
I cant post EVERYTHING im thinking on a public forum ( because my husband stalks me electronically and does it very WELL ) ... so PLEASE read between the lines ...
the bottom line is ..I want to see his Father settled because he DESERVES it and he NEEDS it also because he's the ONE person in this marriage who cares about how I feel
... and who I can rely on . ....
I NEED and DESERVE to see my husband finally fulfill his promise to me ... of the home he PROPOSED with and without which I would Have NEVER considered marrying him...
THEN we'll SEE...
. I too see the shocking !!
similarity with my own incredibly nasty and uncaring and selfish family ... do you know this man who makes over ten times more than me hasn't seen fit to give me a CHRISTAMAS present , a credit card , a birthday present , a hannukah present , aPENNY of HOUSEHOLD money even in the whole year we've been MARRIED ..YEP ... andhe has gotten SO MUCH from me ..its not even funny ..and not even a sincere gesture showing thanks or appreciation ... I cant post EVERYTHING im thinking on a public forum ( because my husband stalks me electronically and does it very WELL ) ... so PLEASE read between the lines ...
the bottom line is ..I want to see his Father settled because he DESERVES it and he NEEDS it also because he's the ONE person in this marriage who cares about how I feel
... and who I can rely on . .... I NEED and DESERVE to see my husband finally fulfill his promise to me ... of the home he PROPOSED with and without which I would Have NEVER considered marrying him...
THEN we'll SEE...
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