Good Morning. We can get tiny, can't we?

I just held up the pair of tight-fitting jeans I wore yesterday to work and just had to shake my head in disbelief...again. lol  They look like they would fit a 7 year old. This has been the most amazing journey I've ever been on and I've been on transforming journeys before. I went through basic training and officer candidate school and came out the other end of those transformed but this WL journey is an "in your face" kind of journey. We can't hide it from our friends and pretend we haven't changed on some level. Granted we make this WLS journey as a last ditch effort to get our health and our lives back, but the outward results is what everyone uses to judge our success or failure. And, I guess we do this ourselves as well. Exceptions, sure. Some can judge their success by blood sugar and blood pressure levels but it's the visual that gets the attention. 

So, when you're a LW and you're going through the "you don't look big enough to need WLS" comments, you might as well toughen up and accept that you're going to get tiny and people will still judge you. They'll say you've done this to get skinny and never acknowledge you had health issues that drove you to have WLS in the first place.  In reality we've traded our obesity related heath issues for issues related to staying healthy with an altered anatomy. Don't ever forget you've played with the creator's design (if you believe in an intelligent creator) and you'll have to monitor your health and take appropriate action to keep yourself healthy from now on. Hydration, protein and micro nutrients (vitamins) are all nonnegotiable, as is staying away from food, drink and medicines that used not to give you problems. Are you ready to accept the mission responsibilites and consequences?

What have you learned so far on this journey?

--gina
        

Good morning.  I'm just sitting here for a little while pretending I don't really have to go work OT (plus lots more to come).

First I think I've learned compassion for obese people.  I don't think I was judgmental before, but throughout this journey I've seen all the hurtles I've had to go through, and I think it can be much more difficult for others with perhaps less resources, poor/no insurance, small children, etc.

I've also learned that people are very supportive and much more understanding in general than I thought.  However, my closest friend seems to be withdrawing.  I'm not ready to say that I've lost that friendship, but I can't control her psychological issues centered around weight.

Finally I'm learning you can be doing everything right and still not lose weight or you may lose it very slowly.  For the last 2 months, I've exercised and kept my calories at 800-1000 each day, but I can't seem to lose more than 5 lbs a month. Frustrating!

I do the same with the stuff in my laundry basket...it looks more my daughter's size than mine. And dh's looks more like my son in law's stuff these days. Just not use to smaller stuff yet.

Like you, Gina, I've had other life altering events...going thru ROTC summer camp and then Signal Corp training transformed who I am but this is an amazing journey.

I do wonder when I see other obese people now, if they even know that surgery is an option or if they do know, why aren't they taking charge of their health.

But the biggest eyeopener has been the last week, having been over at the hospital all week, it is amazing to me how many MO staff members there are and yet, the health care industry is trying to put it in the face of all of us that obesity is something we need to work on. (not saying this right). One would think that having the access they do, more would do something about it. Even in my surgeon's office we have a couple of staff that are obese.

Gotta wonder.

Liz

Hi Gina

I agree with Kim - I have gained compassion for the MO... and even when I was Obese I knew I judged.  What woke me up one day was I had a heart stress test and on the report said a "48 year old Obese woman"... OMG - someone called me obese - I NEVER saw myself like that, even though I knew I was overweight.  I didn't know about BMI charts... etc...

I know I did this for my health.  I was spiraling downward fast and even though I hadn't developed health related issues yet, it definitely ran in my family and I knew what was in store for me. 

Regarding clothing sizes - yes... I'm where you're at, even with gaining some weight back.  I still fit into most of my 4's.  Yes, they fit different, but still fit.  I tried Toms daughters' size 9 junior skinny jeans on the other day and they fit me loose - but looked good.  I also have changed my whole outlook on sizes - remember when I would do my best to get into the smallest size I could?  I'm done with that phase now and want to wear the size that fits me right and looks good on me.  I bought some 6's and they are a bit too loose on me... so I'm in the "tweener" size.. inbetween the 4 and 6... kind of a PITA. 

I have learned to be less critical of myself as well as others. To be able to put myself in anothers place and remember how I felt as an obese person. My only living sister has said some hurtful things to me about my weight loss, however I continually reach out to her as she has been like my mother for so long (13yrs older than me), I will continue on and love her in spite of how she is acting right now. "My mother always said "this too will pass" time will take care of it.
On another note, I have learrned its not about the smallest size you can wear, its about being confident and comfortable with your body.
Well,got housework,shopping, and gardening to doo.Have a great day my LW's.
Brenda

I am not going to say I have gained any more compassion for the MO than I already had, but I do look around and think to myself, how can they be so happy with all that weight. I guess I can be very judgemental and it is something I have to work on. My DH and I would be in Walmart or somewhere like that and I would see a severely obese person in a wheel chair and I would tell him,  if I ever get that large shoot me. Well then I got that large and I was not happy. I wouldnt go in public, I was having more panic attacks, my agoraphobia would kick into high gear and I could not leave the house for weeks on end. ( I know me have agoraphobia ) BTW, I still fight the agoraphobia on a daily basis and have found it has gotten easier to go out in public some days but I much rather avoid it and stay in the house.
I never got the, your not heavy enough to need WLS, I got, theres no way you were that big! Yes there was and i have the pictures to prove it. Have I changed much since surgery, I dont think so. I have no transfer addictions and my personality has not changed much at all, I am more *****y than normal though and need to talk to my dr about it.
I have found that while DH is folding clothes (I wash and dry, he folds and we put away together) he is giving my DD my clothes LOL.. Never thought that would ever be possible before.

So what have I learned, people are more apt to talk to you while you are skinny, although I fight the agoraphibia, I will still talk to anyone, even before but they would never talk back. Now everyone will talk to you, it is easier to get a job, and people dont look down at you anymore. I have also learned that people will take you more seriously and believe what you are saying.
I have also learned that I did this for me and not anyone else, I had encouragement from my mother, she is the main reason I had it done, and I take everyones opinions with a grain of salt. I know I did not want to end up like her, she passed away at 49, massive coronary heart attack followed by several strokes, was the hardest decision to pull her off life support. She was MO, severe cholesterol issues, had many angios done, HBP and many more. She did not live to meet her last grand child and I want to, I want to meet every one that my children have. So regardless when people say, if you had been more disciplined before why now, in the end it was still my decision, not their's.
Am I ready to take on the responsibilities of this, YES I AM! and am proudly doing it!

It has been odd.  I have 3 teens at home and they are "borrowing" my clothes more and more.  Now, I wear smaller sizes than my girls.  I have started buying girls sizes as they are cheaper.  REALLY blows my mind.

Yes, I got the "You're not big enough for surgery"  But, now when I show people my before pic, they don't even recognize me.  WEIRD

Oh yeah, not sure what I have learned....LOL  

I love reading all of your stories!  This was just the post I needed today.  I am trying to bookmark positive posts because I get scared when I read a lot of posts aout complications etc. 

I am pre-surgery.  I really keep thinking I will never be like I used to.  About 7 years ago, I could wear a sized 4-6 and was doing aerobics several times a week. I don't know what my BMI was, but it is 35 now and instead of the cute, nice clothes I used to wear, I am buying cheap pants at Walmart in a size 16/18 as I have gained!    I was thinking one day that I could totally make a weight loss advertisement and put my current picture and then some pictures from the past as my after pictures and look like I lost a bunch. haha...just wondering if advertisements do that ever because even though I know I will lose weight, I don't think my body will be like it was before I gained!  Hopefully my sleep apnea will be better, but I worry because I think I had it when I was skinny. 

I'm becoming more aware of how insecure so many people are.  My weight loss has been slow compared to many but obviously faster than with dieting alone and I've watched a friend judge herself poorly because I lost weight.  Mind you, she is chubby-not obese-and has successfuly lost weight many times herself.  And she's seen three friends (myself included) suffer through difficulties with lapband.  But she still sees herself as a failure, and me as a success because I have lost weight.  So sad!
I feel sorry for the obese who aren't yet able to acknowledge their pain and get help but I know I can't do it for them.  Since I'm finally seeing success and health I wish nothing more than to give them the same gift.
And I've learned how important it is to be honest with myself.  I personally am fighting through a self-sabotage period during which I stopped losing because I started carbs.  It's taking me a while to realize that I wanted to slow down and enjoy the ride but was also petrified of finally going below 200 lb. Every time I get back to within  pound of going there, I seem to be eating.  But because I have also learned that the scale alone doesn't fix our problems I am now on top of it.
And I have learned that there are mean and selfish people out there that will always be that way-but it is their problem, not mine

Thanks Gina for this thread--it's like a mini therapy session!
Janet

 I weigh less then all my daughters but my 19 year old wears like a size 0 or 2 and there is no way I could get into her clothes.  My youngest is a compulsive overeater and it seems like she has gotten worse now or maybe I just notice it more.  She is not yet morbidly obese but she is heading there.  She told me that she would never have WLS because she saw me throw up when I first had it and she is scared to death to throw up and also because I don't eat much.  She just can't imagine living without food.  I tried to feed her healthy stuff when she was little but she has always gone for the junk.  Now I can't control what she eats.  It is very expensive to feed her, too, not just because the food costs more but because she eats so often.  I used to be exactly the same way and I don't know what I can do to help her.  I have taken her to OA but she didn't like it.
I don't think much about my clothes, mainly because I don't really go anywhere.  I have avoided other people for so long.  I didn't feel like anyone treated me differently because I was obese and I don't feel like they treat me differently because I am not.  Perhaps because I am older?  When I was younger I could really tell the difference.
I knew when I had my revision that my life would not get better or really change much if I lost weight.  All I wanted was to feel better and be healthy so I could do more and be there for my grandkids and I have gotten that.  I still don't have a lot of clothes to wear.  I have a few pairs of jeans that I bought at the thrift store but I still have problems finding tops that fit because my boobs are still pretty big so I can wear the same tops I used to, except they are a little looser.