OT My Mother Passed Away

Ladytazz
on 6/6/11 7:36 pm
My brother called me this morning to tell me that my mother was in bad shape and wasn't expected to live much longer.  He was freaking out because my sister is supposed to handle all the arrangements and he couldn't get in touch with her.
I was planning on coming to California on June 17th to say good bye so I called the airlines to see if I could change my flight.  I got my flight changed.  They had planes going out at 1:15pm, 1:30pm and 3:50 pm and I decided to go at 3:50.  I didn't want to go alone so I asked my boyfriend he he would help me out and let me use his credit card to buy a ticket for my daughter.  I bought the tickets and a rental car with his card.  We got there around 8:30 and went to pick up the car and they wouldn't rent it to me because the credit card and the drivers license have to be from the same person.  I didn't know this or I wouldn't have come.  The guy at the counter was a real jerk.  He smiled when  I told him my mother was dying.  No help, no suggestions, no compassion.  Kept saying it wasn't worth losing his job over.  Finally went to another place and it's the same story but this nice lady gave me a card of a guy  that would work with us.  My boyfriend sent him the information in an email and I was able to rent a car for twice as much as the other car but at least I had a car.  By the time I was getting ready to go I got a call from my brother saying that my mother had passed away and she was all alone because my sister was on vacation and had no intention of ruining her vacation.  She kept saying there was nothing she could do about it anyway.  She kept telling me not to come.  My brother was there but he didn't stay.  He had to leave early so he wouldn't' miss any more work.
I brought my youngest daughter with me and we just didn't want her to die alone.  That is what hurts the most.  I tried but I just couldn't get there in time.
We were planning on staying a week.  I packed in my bag all my envelopes of protein powder samples, like 20 of them and I bought 4 protein bars.  I got my drink mix flavors and my vitamins.  All l have had today was my protein coffee in the morning, a grilled chicken nacho with guacamole.  I ate most of the chicken and some of the salsa and some cheese and some guacamole.  I was going to bring it back to me to the hotel but when the guy at the first car rental place was being condescending about my mother and smiling about it I lost it and threw my stuff down and destroyed my next 3 meals.  Freaked out a toddler who was with him mom waiting on a car.  I felt so bad I told him I was sorry and I should haven't talked like that because I said the F word.
Anyway, we are coming home on Wednesday so that was a expensive was of time.  Maybe we'll be able to see my mother's boyfriend tomorrow if he is up to it.
So I have had 2 protein bars, a protein coffee and grilled chicken nachos from an over priced vendor at the airport which I wasted at least 3 meals because I got upset.
I don't know what I am going to do tomorrow for eating.  I have about 20 different samples of protein so if I can get some milk I may just have those until I come home.  This place has a fridge and microwave but nothing else like cups or plates.  I bought a few cans of chili, too, if I can figure out how to open them
Maybe I should have waited on the Ambien until after I posted this.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

southernlady5464
on 6/6/11 7:45 pm


I am so sorry that your mother is gone and you didn't get out there in time to say goodbye. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.

Losing your mom is losing a whole part of yourself. I lost mine in 2004 and it still hurts.

Liz

Duodenal Switch (Lap) 01-24-11 | Surgeon: Stephen Boyce | High weight: 250 in 2002 | Surgery weight: 203 | Lowest weight: 121 | Current weight: 135 | Goal weight: 135






   

(deactivated member)
on 6/6/11 7:55 pm
I am so sorry for your loss, there are no words to make it better, know I care
Brenda
Ladytazz
on 6/6/11 7:57 pm
Thank you both.  Now I am an orphan.  That is hard to take. 
My parents were both about 80 so they lived a long time.  I pray they are in a better place.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

Karin @)-;-'--
on 6/6/11 7:57 pm - Melbourne, Australia

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mum's passing and my heart and hugs go right across the world to give you a big((((HUG)))) from me here in Australia.  My family too lives in another state and my own mum is elderly and in a nursing home now so I can understand your frustration dealing with idiots when you've tried so hard to be there for her. Below a little poem for you.

A Mother’s love is binding
Unrelenting in its power
The glow from it so blinding
Beyond her final hour

Even after a Mother’s gone
Her love will see you through
A love to help you carry on
Because that’s what Mother’s do

 

Cheers from Karin (in Oz)

LilySlim - (qEqi)

Ladytazz
on 6/7/11 1:29 am
Thank you.  That is a lovely poem.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

MajorMom
on 6/6/11 8:11 pm - VA
I'm so sorry, Tazz. I think I'd be writing complaint letters once I got home. Take care, sweetie.

--gina

5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
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Ladytazz
on 6/7/11 1:30 am
I already did.  Not that it will do any good but it made me feel better.

WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010

High Weight  (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.

Price S.
on 6/6/11 8:43 pm - Mills River, NC
I had been with my mom for a few days in Va and come home to work and find out about hospice.  She died the morning after I got home.  We knew it was coming but not that soon.  I never really got to say goodbye.  My dad had a surprise heart attach at 49 and passed. 

There is no excuse for the treatment you recieved.  I too, would be shedding some frustration by writing complaint letters.

Do your best getting in your protein and fluid and a few days of whatever won't hurt you.

I am so sorry.  I know this whole visit has been stressing you for weeks.  Now it has a sh*** end anyway.

    LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat  66 yrs young, 4'11"  hw  220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance

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ruxanby
on 6/6/11 9:36 pm
So sorry for your loss and the aggravation you are dealing with.  take care of yourself and let us know how you  are doing.  Hugs.
Sheri F.   
LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat
                                            
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