Falling apart
I'm falling apart from the inside out. It feels that way at least. I have these stupid ulcers which aren't feeling any better despite almost a week on bland foods, Carafate and Protonix. I'm an emotional mess the past few days and I have no idea why. I suspect it's all those stupid hormones that get released as we lose weight, but I go from being weepy to being pissed off in 2 seconds flat. I'm having a hard time with emotional eating lately too. I know I can't sabatoge myself and I'm doing my best not to. I think I need to see a therapist to talk about my emotional issues with food. I'm jumping through the hoops with insurance right now to find one in my area. Is there any site or resource that I can find a therapist that deals with food addiction?
On top of this I have bursitis and arthritis in my right hip. It has been bothering me for weeks. I thought it was from the weight loss and my gait changing plus not having all the padding on my hips I used to have. I saw my PCP yesterday and after a CT he said I have fluid in my bursal sac and the start of arthritis in my hip. I'm only 27, I didn't want to hear that I had arthritis. Of course I can't take NSAIDS so he drained some of the fluid off my hip and put me on Percocet. I'm so sick of taking pain killers, but the pain is horrible. I think that has a lot to do with me being so emotional as well. I've got a referral in to the orthopedist and for PT.
It seems like lately if it isn't one thing it is another. I know that's how life is, but a break would be nice. My husband did buy me a pool last weekend that we have set up so I can workout in the pool. He thought it would be easier on my joints and he is right. I feel bad for him through all of this because he deals with a lot of my overflowing emotions. He handles it like a saint, but it isn't fair to him. I'm also on my period for what is almost 3 weeks. I see my GYN about it next week, but my poor DH has only been laid once since surgery. Before surgery it was every few months because I had no sex drive at all. Now that I have sex drive we can't because I'm on my period. He handles that like a saint too. I swear he's too good for me.
I'm sorry this is just a rambling post. I don't even know what is really wrong. I think it is an accumulation of everything going on. I feel so alone in all of this sometimes. The kids are going to stay with my MIL from Saturday until Tuesday though. I can't wait for that break. I love my children, but in their lives the only time I've been away from them is for my surgery. That was only for 3 days. Mama needs a break.
Thanks for reading this. I just needed to vent.
On top of this I have bursitis and arthritis in my right hip. It has been bothering me for weeks. I thought it was from the weight loss and my gait changing plus not having all the padding on my hips I used to have. I saw my PCP yesterday and after a CT he said I have fluid in my bursal sac and the start of arthritis in my hip. I'm only 27, I didn't want to hear that I had arthritis. Of course I can't take NSAIDS so he drained some of the fluid off my hip and put me on Percocet. I'm so sick of taking pain killers, but the pain is horrible. I think that has a lot to do with me being so emotional as well. I've got a referral in to the orthopedist and for PT.
It seems like lately if it isn't one thing it is another. I know that's how life is, but a break would be nice. My husband did buy me a pool last weekend that we have set up so I can workout in the pool. He thought it would be easier on my joints and he is right. I feel bad for him through all of this because he deals with a lot of my overflowing emotions. He handles it like a saint, but it isn't fair to him. I'm also on my period for what is almost 3 weeks. I see my GYN about it next week, but my poor DH has only been laid once since surgery. Before surgery it was every few months because I had no sex drive at all. Now that I have sex drive we can't because I'm on my period. He handles that like a saint too. I swear he's too good for me.
I'm sorry this is just a rambling post. I don't even know what is really wrong. I think it is an accumulation of everything going on. I feel so alone in all of this sometimes. The kids are going to stay with my MIL from Saturday until Tuesday though. I can't wait for that break. I love my children, but in their lives the only time I've been away from them is for my surgery. That was only for 3 days. Mama needs a break.
Thanks for reading this. I just needed to vent.
I'm so sorry, Sweetie. One day at a time and I think a therapist is an excellent idea. Swinging lizards you get everything sorted out ASAP.
((hugs))
--gina
((hugs))
--gina
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
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DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
Hang in there. So sorry you are going through this.
I also had alot of emotional issues postop, and thank goodness for the psych depart at my program! It really helped to have an objective person listen and offer some support.
Alot of it was hormonal, and it did improve over time. Hope the same for you too.
Sorry about the hip, I hope you can get some relief.
I also had alot of emotional issues postop, and thank goodness for the psych depart at my program! It really helped to have an objective person listen and offer some support.
Alot of it was hormonal, and it did improve over time. Hope the same for you too.
Sorry about the hip, I hope you can get some relief.
~Maria
SW 230 Preop 205 GW 130 LW 131 CW 135 Ht 5'1"
Geese, that is a lot to deal with, for sure. I hope some of it can get sorted out.
I hoped losing 90 lbs would solve my knee issues but it hasn't. So I called today for a referral to the orhopedist. I have avoided knee surgery since 7th grade (I'm 62) but darn it, part of my reason to lose weight was to be more active and it is hard with a bum knee. We can hold each other's joints in the light and maybe we can get both of the well.
I hoped losing 90 lbs would solve my knee issues but it hasn't. So I called today for a referral to the orhopedist. I have avoided knee surgery since 7th grade (I'm 62) but darn it, part of my reason to lose weight was to be more active and it is hard with a bum knee. We can hold each other's joints in the light and maybe we can get both of the well.
66 yrs young, 4'11" hw 220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance
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