OT - I feel like such a bad Mom

Have you heard of John Rosemond?  I will post the link to his web-site for you.  He gives amazing advice.  Old fashioned values and not a bunch of "psycho babble".  Hope it helps.

http://www.rosemond.com/

Thank you, I appreciate that!

I found his web site when my 25 year old was 10 and tried to live ny his rules the entire rest of her growing up years.

I copied his Bill of Rights for Children and posted it on the fridge in plain sight of my daughters. It didn't come down until she moved out of the house as an adult.

Rosemond's Bill of Rights for Children (it wasn't a poster back then)

1. Because it is the most character-building, two-letter word in the English language, children have the right to hear their parents say “No" at least three times a day.
2. Children have the right to find out early in their lives that their parents don’t exist to make them happy, but to offer them the opportunity to learn the skills they will need to eventually make themselves happy.
3. Children have a right to scream all they want over the decisions their parents make, albeit their parents have the right to confine said screaming to certain areas of their homes.
4. Children have the right to find out early that their parents care deeply for them but don’t give a hoot what their children think about them at any given moment in time.
5. Because it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, children have the right to hear their parents say “Because I said so" on a regular and frequent basis.
6. Because it is the most character-building activity a child can engage in, children have the right to share significantly in the doing of household chores.
7. Every child has the right to discover early in life that he isn’t the center of the universe (or his family or his parents’ lives), that he isn’t a big fish in a small pond, and that he isn’t the Second Coming, so as to prevent him from becoming an insufferable brat.
8. Children have the right to learn to be grateful for what they receive, therefore, they have the right to receive all of what they truly need and very little of what they simply want.
9. Children have the right to learn early in their lives that obedience to legitimate authority is not optional, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that said consequences are memorable and, therefore, persuasive.
10. Every child has the right to parents who love him/her enough to make sure he/she enjoys all of the above rights.

LOVE that!  TY!

Lots of good advice here.  One other thing I tried to live by was the idea that it takes 3 positives to counteract any negative.  So when I had a horrible day with my kids, I tried really hard to be positive about something.  Some days the best I could do is "your eyes are placed very nicely on your face" but I said something positive to them.  They both turned out ok so I guess something worked.

Good luck Mara.  You have gotten some great advise.  Hang in there!!
Linda

Like the ladies have said, there's some great advice here.

What I've found:

*You must assert control. You are the parent. There is your way or no way.
*Follow through. SO important. If you threaten a consequence, go through with it, no matter what. If the child knows you won't do what you threaten, they will not learn respect.
*Work on your mom look. I have it down pat and my boys at 10 and 14 know the look so well that if they receive it, they will stop what they are doing and apologize. (It even works on my hubby!)
*Do not tolerate fits. At all. Respond in a quiet voice so the child knows they aren't getting to you. The less attention they receive during a fit, the less good the fit does and they stop doing it.

It's a frustrating age, I remember. I didn't deal with terrible 2's, it was the 3's and 4's that were a challenge for me.