hated first meeting

I agree with everyone else.  Some programs have great support groups, others are a big joke.  Play the game-you will be the winner in the end
Janet

i pop in on an occasional support group meeting...but it's 50 miles from home....and when i get there i don't really fit in....so.....i really try to find an excuse to not go.  i went to the meeting every month before surgery but now i struggle to get there.  i'm certainly not saying its anyone's fault that i don't fit in....that's just how it is!

but.....i'm on this website every day!  and i get so much support!

just do what cha gotta do to get your approval!!!  do like me....when i go to my support group meeting i sign in and sit close to the door!  and it they start going down the road of "i can get away with eating this or that or the other thing" i just slip out and head home!

i'll keep making occasional appearances at the support group meetings but my main support is here!!!

love this LW Board!!!

It's aweful to feel like EVERYONE is judging you.  The worst part of being a lightweight is that those who are more obese than us think we don't need it because we aren't as big as them.....and then there are those that are thin who think we don't have THAT much to lose we should beable to do it on our own.......If only we could put people in our shoes for a while......my response to those who are on the journey with me but think I don't need it is this........When you were close to 100lbs overweight did you lose it on your own and keep it off???  I'm guessing that since you are here with me now that the answer is NO.....so why is it wrong of me to want to deal with this now instead of another 5, 10, 15, 20, 30++++ lbs down the road???  And to those who are not obese I want to ask them......... if you were consistantly obese or morbidly obese for years and all diet attemps failed what would you do??  Keep yoyo dieting for all eternity while your health continues to suffer??

Tell them all to kiss off and mind thier own business.......LOL  I don't go to support groups, never have......I come here when I'm in need of LW ENLIGHTENMENT!!!

I agree with Heather.......I have told a few people that I have struggled with this for thirty years (since I was 9) and I have tried everything else and could no maintain weight loss for anything.  I have also said that I am too fat in the thin world and not fat enough in the fat world.  No one knows what it is like to be in our own personal struggle other than us.  I had a few friends that thought that I did not need to do this.  I knew in my heart that I would eventually be NOT a lightweight and have more health issues and would rather do this when I am healthier and have a better chance of recovery.  For me, when I got diagnosed with lipedema (which can become very disfiguring) I had enough.  Already had hypertension since age 27 (!!) as well as PCOS. 

As far as the support group, I read that one of the things that helps us be successful at this is attending a support group. Some use this site but I also feel that the local support group is helpful.  Everytime I think I am too tired to go but I almost always get something out of it.....there were people in there that helpded me before surgery by learning from their experiences and hopefully others can learn from me.  I also sometimes feel that people are looking at me kinda funny......I always say I lost a good amount of weight before surgery. Envy is a funny thing and I just try to ignore any looks and focus on my own healing.

Good luck to you and continue to give the group a try....this is YOUR journey.......

Blessings to you!!




~~~~Jennifer

when i met my surgeon for the first time he looked me up and down, then looked at the chart, then looked at me again and very puzzled, asked me to stand up and turn around. LOL

then he read the weight on my chart and my height and realized that i qualified.

unfortunately people will always have an opinion and some just don't know how to keep it to themselves. you've got to know who you are and be strong in that.

 I think he thought  U were too cute 4 this procedure Christina lol !!!  

My surgeon did that as well!  I guess I carried my almost 240 pounds pretty well.

I was belittled like that at my one and only support meeting.  I was told that I was "too young" and "too thin" to be having this surgery.  I'm 27 and I was 240 pounds at 5'3".  I didn't want to wait until I hit 300, 400 or more.  I knew that I hadn't been able to control my weight as long as I can remember.  I think the last time I was a healthy weight I was in 1st grade.  I was a size 13 by 5th grade.  

It is absolutely no one's business why you are having this surgery or why you are doing it considering what you weigh.  I would of done this at 190 pounds if I would of qualified.  After a baby and not losing the weight I finally qualified and I jumped at the chance.  

Remember, opinions are like ******** everyone's got one.  I'm sorry they made you feel that way.  You only have one more meeting to go and OH is such a great support resource.

For the first time in my life, I tried to look show my flaws last night.  I let my tummy hang out relaxed. hahah

I showed the surgeon some photos of a family member that I am just like and how when she hit a certain age she put on massive weight and told him I was doing that much younger then when it happened to her etc.

I have to chime in that I know how you feel like the rest of us do.  Lightweights take a special kind of beating.  This forum is invaluable for the kind of support we need and I'm very, very grateful to Lucycat who snatched me up by the nape of the neck out of the Main Forum before I got myself killed.  ROFL

I've gotten some funny looks at support group when I say how much I've lost.  Every once in a while, for the newbies (as well as critical family and friends) I'll say something to the effect of:

"I belong to a special category of obese people called "The Lightweights".   I was only around 100 lbs. overweight.  Sometimes this makes people think I didn't really NEED surgery to lose weight.  But, I want you to know that Lightweights at the low end of the scale have the same issues as the Heavyweights at the high end.  I couldn't see my toes, touch my toes, tie my shoes, wipe my butt, climb stairs, get up without assistance if I fell, and did I say wipe my butt?  I've been on the same lose/gain roller coaster as the larger folks and my excess weight with my height puts me in the OBESE category.  I have had health issues like much larger folks have: diabetes, horribly painful supportive joints, hypertension, high blood pressure, etc...  I knew I was a train wreck waiting to happen and became willing to take drastic measures to grab one more chance at the life I really wanted.  I couldn't do it on my own.  I tried... over and over again.   I really desired to change my eating habits, non-existent exercise habits, and my life in general because the way I was living was a joke and no life at all.   But, I had to have a surgical tool to help me make those changes possible... and the new life that goes along with them.  Heavyweight obese people and I have much more in common than people may realize... and certainly more than most people will ever know... as long as they allow themselves to judge me for my size.  I do not judge Heavyweights for THEIR size... and it would be nice if everybody extended the same courtesy when running across a Lightweight.  Believe it or not... we really are all in this together."

Sometimes people "get it" and sometimes their eyes glaze over.  But, maybe a seed was planted and I've done what I can.

Mama always said, "What other people think of me is none of my business." 

Mama was smart.  :-)

It'll all work out Mel.. don't let their pettiness trip you up.   :-)

Ruthie