hated first meeting

I went to my first support meeting and had three people say something about me not needing surgery.  It was a big group and we had to introduce ourselves, say what surgery we want or had etc.  I hated it.  I can't go to those and be judged.  I am not happy that I am forced to go to meetings  (two before surgery) just to feel judged and looked up and down.  I can't win.  A friend just got done telling me I am overweight and said to find my "issue" that is holding me back from being thin then I am looked down on for not being heavy enough.  Can people mind their own buisness?????If people at a WLS meeting say stuff then no telling what friends would say, if I told them.  Ugg.  I felt so uncomfortable.  I have sleep apnea and other health issues, but don't feel I should have to go and answer to other patients. Sorry to vent...I feel better:)

 Not their business . Sorry U had to go through that  ....just keep Ur eye on the prize and  tell as few people as possible  and keep on moving ahead Hun.

Let  US  be your support system.  

You know U need this  lifesaving surgery .. Uve undoubtedly struggled  futilely and valiantly  for YEARS to lose weight  and found it impossible  ..  thats why U need  the surgery . 

Its  not their business  and U dont need to make excuses to ANYBODY  .  Ure doing the right thing  for Ur health , to give urself  a  chance to live Ur best life ,  trust me.  

I only wish id done it sooner .  

Thanks for this message!  This was great advice and hit the spot for me today!!

I am 38 yrs old.  I am glad I can do this now  before I am heavier!

 I think Ure making a very smart decision .

Who needs to  waste  yet MORE years  , lose so many  more opportunities ...  so much skin elasticity  and health  WAITING and  SUFFERING ?! 

WHY  ?  

I agree with Ava. Hang tough, babee! We got your back.

--gina

Mel, you survived one, don't give up yet. You can make it thru one more. Keep your eye on the prize.

After you manage two, just get your support here or ask IRAYD8U about the FaceBook group, if you are on FB. She is the OP (original poster) here on this thread. The group is listed in her signature:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_lightweights/4388403/REALLY/

Hang in there, just one more meeting to go.

Liz

Time to let go of what others are talking about.  The truth is that people don't mind their own business and are willing to give advise, no matter how good or bad all the time. 
If you keep going to support meetings, you may be the positve impact that some other lightweight needs to continue on.  And you can show the folks there that even lightweights need and deserve a change to be healthy. 
I think sometimes folks look at us and think we are vain.  When in reality, most lightweights had pretty serious health concerns that needed to be fixed.  But one way or the other, it is our bodies and our decision, with our Drs.
So next meeting, hold your head up and go in with conviction.  Use these times to clarify exactly why you want/need surgery and what lifestyle changes you are going to make so this works for you forever, unlike a diet.

This is definitely the time on this forum for me to pay it forward...

I was on here specifically last September, literally crying because i could not deal with being judged for being "too small", and gaining weight steadily year after year (minus the stints of dieting that worked briefly at best). The posters on this site can be an absolute lifesaver.

I agree with you it is difficult, and I don't blame you one bit for wanting anonymity while you go through this. It is your business, and really, nobody elses. Period.

That being said, I will share that in this crazy, incredibly nosey small town I live in, I am "the talk" let me tell ya! I really thought I could quietly melt, steadily, and no one would notice/care..... My theory worked until I was down a good 50#, but I do need to warn you that once bones come to the surface... WOW.  But, also during my journey I kinda came full circle. I didn't think I would ever admit that I took this drastic route, and I was so wrong. I still am not comfortable just blurting out my biz, and I even say so out loud. My theory is now "just aske me". I usually give my very best smile and admit "yes, I have lost a lot of weight, and thank you for noticing". If pressed about how much, I may respond "a lot. More than I am comfortable admitting". Most people get that, and leave it. If I do find myself going into what I call, round 3, I will say "I had weight loss surgery. I am a little embarrassed that I couldn't control my addictions, but it's all good now". I guess it's safe to say the cat is out of the bag...

I will admit, I feel liberated now that there is no hold on my biz. I don't owe anyone an explanation, and I say that. But I also feel enough comfortable addressing the elephant in the room. It feels good.
And for anyone who would want to say we lightweights are doing it for "vanity"?   I very proudly say, "whatever!" or better yet "I am in the beauty enhancement field... If I did this to look good, then have at it". The truth is though I did this in part for my MENTAL health, which was suffering. I will NOT put a price tag on that!

Yes, I have come a long way in a year. You will too... And like Gina said, "We got your back!"

Kim

At my first information meeting, they actually handed the packet to my husband, not me.  I felt bad for him, but we just didn't make a big deal about it.  I have had support from some, and negativity from others, but the bottom line is, I did this for ME!  You just hang tough and do what you know is right for you. 

Beverly