i feel like... (OT) (long vent)

Think of school as a marathon.  You just have to gut it out and eventually you will finish.  The feeling of satisfaction at graduation is worth it! 

I swore I'd never go back to school when I finished college.  Unfortunately it doesn't stop there.  I eventually got my masters degree and every job I've ever had required more training.  You learn more than the title of your courses.  You learn time management, project management,  working with others...it helps you in the real world.

Socially, do what you love whatever it is -- community theater, kite flying, zumba, charity work whatever is your passion.  You'll find people that share your passion.  If it isn't a man, then you make great friends.  Focus on the things you love and the positive relationships in your life.  You don't need a man to be happy, successful, and fulfilled.  Don't make your happiness contingent on someone else (like finding a husband or having kids).  People will enjoy being around a happy confident you ... and it is very attractive.

Make your life the positive experience you want it to be.  It is a choice you know.  You can choose to be happy. 

I was all set to offer my "excellent" advice and darn it if Bowknot didn't do it all for me. I really think you'll find someone when you do those things you love to do. The guys are out there. That said, I didn't commit with my husband until I was 39.

You just keep on doing the right things and you'll find someone out there that does those things too.  Finding a boyfriend is never easy... finding the right one is downright HARD. Volunteer at events you like - do community things like volunteering at the shelter or church, or local conservation stuff.

How old are you Rebecca (if you don't mind telling). 

My oldest daughter struggled with being single so I understand a little how you feel.  There was a lot of tears during that time of her life.   She church hoped, tried a Christian Single Site, relied on friends for fixing her up, and then one day it just happened.  Do you have a list of qualities that you are looking for?  She had a LOOOOONG list...from he had to work in business, wear a suit and tie, be tall, etc.  Life give you surprises....He is short (going bald), prefers worn out jeans, loves to hunt, and the only suit he owned was to small for him.....but he turned out to be perfect for her.  It will be happen for you some day too. 

Concentrate on your school for now and getting a good job.  College guys graduate and then move on so most of the time they aren't the best choice.  After you graduate and start working you will start meeting MEN (not boys) who are responsible and wanting the same goals as you do.

You might want to take Gina up on meeting her son.  He is smart hard working sensitive guy who also is looking for love.

(((HUGS)))

Well Im no example lol . But .... I refused to settle for a man who 1) cheated 2 ) didn't work or pull his weight bringing a paycheck home 3) disrespected me by wanting a woman who was a free housekeeper etc rather than a PARTNER

look I still didnt get all I probably COULD have . But .. I didnt get a guy I met in the back of a bar either lol.

I met my husband on e harmony . At east he shared my values.... was and is monogamous ... is a hard worker ... yes hes tall lol ... sure hes not perfect ..

but at least hes FUNNY he owns a million dollar business he owns his own home and a boat .( and a lot of debt lol I wish he DIDNT have too )


he's teachable

and most importantly we share dreams and values and love and value each other .

Hang on beautiful GRRRL .. dont settle ..... your prince is waiting for U . But DO go out and actively seek him .... there are a MILLION cool guys out here .. date , have fun , make lifelong friends , DONT have sex ... be the world's choosiest woman is MY advice....

and DEFINITELY hold out for Marriage .... make that clear from the get-go . ( weeds out the jerks)

(((((Rebecca Ann)))))

Some good advice from a long-ago prof of mine: don't ever "should" on yourself.

Seriously, life is about what IS, and what you can CHANGE, not about what "should be." We have no control over that part. So - you're doing your part, and doing it marvelously. The rest WILL come, especially if you don't drag yourself down by shoulding all over yourself. You don't need to - you are fabulous just as you are, and the right guy will recognize that and snap you up when the time is right for both of you.

Rebecca.  Don't short change yourself.  I spent most of my teens date less while my friends were out having a good time.  Met my 1st husband in my early 20s he was 7 yrs older we had a lot of fun together but it was just that.....I spent my late 20s going through a divorce and starting all over again.  I am not proud of that but I settled because I did not think anyone would want this chunky girl, low self esteem etc.....Fast forward I am going to be 37 this year and have been married to my current husband for 6 yrs.  He is not perfect but accepted me for who I was then, still chunky and we have a nice life and a great son.   We also met on line (Match.com)  a well. 

It will come, do not ru**** Love take time and you do not want to settle! 

Hugs.
Sheri

ooooh, i remember saying THE SAME THINGS!

 
I dated, dated, dated for years.  Always picked the wrong guys: cheaters, losers, flat broke, abusive, whatever.  Someone told me "Instead of trying to FIND the right person, trying BEING the right person, then HE'LL FIND YOU!"  So I decided to stop looking, and just be around for myself.  My last hold out that I "shouldn't do without a man" was build or buy a home--eventually I built my own.  Darned if I didn't fall for the electrician, and we've been together 14 years now. NOT AT ALL MY TYPE, but God sent me what I needed, not what I wanted.  He's wonderful--- er, still an aggravating male, but a perfect husband for ME!

So my advice to you is to be true to yourself, enjoy YOU, casually date, just enjoy life. Don't look too hard, but be around so the fellas who are lookin' can see the beautiful Rebecca Ann.  Beautiful life happens when you stop trying to force the bubble out of the giggle.

traceyPQ

I remember feeling that way when all of my friends were getting married, it seemed, before me.  I wasted time dating people that I knew I did not want to marry!  Don't do that!  You give away pieces of your heart that way.  I met my hubby at a singles Bible Study.  The wait was worth it!  We were old enough and mature enough to know what kind of mate we wanted.  We got engaged 3 months after we first saw each other and married at 6months after we first saw each other!