4 fears of the Lightweight.
Roz posted these 4 fears that Lightweights go through to atlhot4mom's post and thought it was well put and thought provoking.
As a LW most of us have several fears no matter what our stats are...
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us,
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
Even being closer to 3 years out now, I've never really put it in perspective like she did, BUT - I think I can say for most of us, we've experienced all of these (or most of us have by the time we're 2 years out). Especially once the "honeymoon period" is over.
So - lets share our perspective on each of these 4 fears, and what we've done to alleviate or manage them. I'll go first:
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us, As most, I'd been on every conceivable diet, lost/gained/lost/gained to the point where I couldn't lose anymore. How is this surgery going to make a difference with that? And it worked... just stick to the plan. This is also a mind game we play with ourselves.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves, Stalls happen - and its basically because our bodies are catching up with what we did to them. We also need to stop comparing ourselves to people who start at a higher weight. I'm a firm believer in upping protein when stalled - it worked for me.
3rd... we don't want to go to low, Now - I've never had this problem. I did have several people tell me I looked "gaunt", which now when I look back at those pics, I have to tend to agree with them, but I LOVED how I looked in clothes. I was very happy at 123... but now know I look very healthy.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us. This is where I'm at now. I did the bounce back and really wished I tried harder during my active weight loss phase to get lower.... but it is what it is. Not impossible to get back down and I'll do it.
As a LW most of us have several fears no matter what our stats are...
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us,
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
Even being closer to 3 years out now, I've never really put it in perspective like she did, BUT - I think I can say for most of us, we've experienced all of these (or most of us have by the time we're 2 years out). Especially once the "honeymoon period" is over.
So - lets share our perspective on each of these 4 fears, and what we've done to alleviate or manage them. I'll go first:
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us, As most, I'd been on every conceivable diet, lost/gained/lost/gained to the point where I couldn't lose anymore. How is this surgery going to make a difference with that? And it worked... just stick to the plan. This is also a mind game we play with ourselves.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves, Stalls happen - and its basically because our bodies are catching up with what we did to them. We also need to stop comparing ourselves to people who start at a higher weight. I'm a firm believer in upping protein when stalled - it worked for me.
3rd... we don't want to go to low, Now - I've never had this problem. I did have several people tell me I looked "gaunt", which now when I look back at those pics, I have to tend to agree with them, but I LOVED how I looked in clothes. I was very happy at 123... but now know I look very healthy.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us. This is where I'm at now. I did the bounce back and really wished I tried harder during my active weight loss phase to get lower.... but it is what it is. Not impossible to get back down and I'll do it.
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Thanks Roz and Jody! This really makes me think.
I just went through #2 and survived :)
It does make it easier for me because I know at what weight I am happy and look healthiest (about 140-145) but I may go down about 5 lbs lower if I can to allow for a little bounceback.
Just wondering...with your TT, did you lose lbs overall and inches from your waist? I am going for consults this summer and looking to have surgery in Dec or Feb. My belly skin floats away from my core in the tub....UGH!! Can't wait to get rid of it!!
I just went through #2 and survived :)
It does make it easier for me because I know at what weight I am happy and look healthiest (about 140-145) but I may go down about 5 lbs lower if I can to allow for a little bounceback.
Just wondering...with your TT, did you lose lbs overall and inches from your waist? I am going for consults this summer and looking to have surgery in Dec or Feb. My belly skin floats away from my core in the tub....UGH!! Can't wait to get rid of it!!
Char
RNY 11/28/10 5' 6"
HW 263/SW 217/CW 130/GOAL 134
The skin that was removed from the TT was just 1.5 lbs. The vertical cut with muscle tightening really gave me my hourglass figure back. My clothes did fit better. Now - I didn't measure my before/after the TT. Where my panni came off there was a difference.
But - it depends on where you carry your weight. While I did carry a lot in my panni, the upper part of my tummy wasn't too bad. The rest was in my butt/thighs... and is where its going back to.
I'm glad I did it!
But - it depends on where you carry your weight. While I did carry a lot in my panni, the upper part of my tummy wasn't too bad. The rest was in my butt/thighs... and is where its going back to.
I'm glad I did it!
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Wow, this is great. I am only 3+ months out but I had those exact fears!
1. I didn't think it would work for me because I was a starver before the surgery. I wasn't a over eater unless I was stressed out about something.
2. When I get a stall I panic and stress out because I have always been a goal setter. I have to remember to stay calm and your advice on eating more protein has really helped. I lost 3 lbs in less than a week with your suggestion and that hadn't happened since the first month.
3. I have SCREAMED this from day one. I have always been the overweight person in the family and I wouldn't know how to act if I got "skinny". People laugh at me but I want to be healthy not skinny. I'm not sure what that looks like yet though. LOL
4. I am concerned that when I get to maintenance I will go back to stress eating ice cream and peanut M&M's if I can tollerate them later.
Great post. I guess we do have more things in common than I thought. 
Height 5'0 HW-247; SW- 238; GW-140
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us,
I certainly shared that fear. I couldn't believe I would ever get this low, much less to goal.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
I've never been in a long stall or even had a full week without losing. But when I have slowed down, I have wondered if that is it. If that is where my body wants to be.
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
I'm beginning to think about this one. When I lay in bed at night on my side, I can feel bones I swear I have never felt before. There are parts when the panne moves to the side that seem awfully hollow. I don't think I look skinny yet but it is a thought. Especially since I haven't slowed down that much and am getting really close to goal.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
This is my biggest fear of all. I have lost before but never been able to maintain. I see you guys who are ahead of me and it gives me great hope but I also know others who have let the pounds slip back on as I did in the past. Hopefully, staying connected to you guys will help me get the next phase figured out as I have this part.
I certainly shared that fear. I couldn't believe I would ever get this low, much less to goal.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
I've never been in a long stall or even had a full week without losing. But when I have slowed down, I have wondered if that is it. If that is where my body wants to be.
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
I'm beginning to think about this one. When I lay in bed at night on my side, I can feel bones I swear I have never felt before. There are parts when the panne moves to the side that seem awfully hollow. I don't think I look skinny yet but it is a thought. Especially since I haven't slowed down that much and am getting really close to goal.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
This is my biggest fear of all. I have lost before but never been able to maintain. I see you guys who are ahead of me and it gives me great hope but I also know others who have let the pounds slip back on as I did in the past. Hopefully, staying connected to you guys will help me get the next phase figured out as I have this part.
66 yrs young, 4'11" hw 220, goal 120 met at 12 months, cw 129 learning Maintainance
Between 35-40 BMI? join us on the Lightweight board. the Lightweight Board
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us,
I went through this more with my first surgery because I didn't really change my eating habits and I couldn't believe I would lose weight without dieting. I did lose weight, lots of it, for a while anyway.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
Again, I felt this way with the first surgery. Because I wasn't doing anything differently I never knew when the weight loss would stop.
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
I have never worried about this, lol. It seems that my body knew when to stop, again without making any changes.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
Now, this is the fear that sticks with me. I know how to lose weight. I have had a lot of experience dieting and losing weight. I have a lousy track record in keeping it off, however. That is the challenge for me. I won't consider myself a success until I have maintained my weight for several years. For me, since I have changed my eating habits this time, it has to do with keeping up with the changes I have made. If I can do that, I know I will be ok. If I start going back to eating things that give me problems or I start eating more often or snacking then I will have problems. I really don't want to go back to the roller coaster that I used to be on with my weight. I just want to keep it stable, along with my eating habits.
I went through this more with my first surgery because I didn't really change my eating habits and I couldn't believe I would lose weight without dieting. I did lose weight, lots of it, for a while anyway.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves,
Again, I felt this way with the first surgery. Because I wasn't doing anything differently I never knew when the weight loss would stop.
3rd... we don't want to go to low,
I have never worried about this, lol. It seems that my body knew when to stop, again without making any changes.
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us.
Now, this is the fear that sticks with me. I know how to lose weight. I have had a lot of experience dieting and losing weight. I have a lousy track record in keeping it off, however. That is the challenge for me. I won't consider myself a success until I have maintained my weight for several years. For me, since I have changed my eating habits this time, it has to do with keeping up with the changes I have made. If I can do that, I know I will be ok. If I start going back to eating things that give me problems or I start eating more often or snacking then I will have problems. I really don't want to go back to the roller coaster that I used to be on with my weight. I just want to keep it stable, along with my eating habits.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
Great post Roz and Jody~
As a LW most of us have several fears no matter what our stats are...
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us, For me this wasn't a issue, I was one of those fast ones, who lost quickly...without really working at it, since I was a "closest sleever", by this I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. So I didn't exercise at all till a year out. My job keeping me up and down and not sitting still I am sure this helped some.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves, As for Stalls I only had very few and not for long.
3rd... we don't want to go to low, I thought this all the time, my lowest weight was 119 I didn't want to be that low, that being said I wish I wouldn't of freaked out and would of stayed between 120-121 I had so many people saying I looked gaunt! So it freaked me out.....
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us. I will be 2 yrs out in Jan. I do have fears now, I my scale does run from 125- 128....and with the warm weather here...walking has started I am working on at least 3 days a week, and with luck 4-5. I will not let my self go over 128 and I am happy at 125 or lower. What is odd for me is even when the scale says 128 my clothes don't fit different, and at times feel even like I have to much room in my waist.
I would tell any newbie to measure before, I wish I would have and I would know if thing were different or not.....
As a LW most of us have several fears no matter what our stats are...
1st - the first fear is that it won't work for us, For me this wasn't a issue, I was one of those fast ones, who lost quickly...without really working at it, since I was a "closest sleever", by this I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. So I didn't exercise at all till a year out. My job keeping me up and down and not sitting still I am sure this helped some.
2nd - when we are in a stall that we are done and won't get to the goal we set for ourselves, As for Stalls I only had very few and not for long.
3rd... we don't want to go to low, I thought this all the time, my lowest weight was 119 I didn't want to be that low, that being said I wish I wouldn't of freaked out and would of stayed between 120-121 I had so many people saying I looked gaunt! So it freaked me out.....
4th.... and then when we get on maintenance and the fear of gaining it back or wishing we would have given ourselves enough bounce back room sets in and sticks with us. I will be 2 yrs out in Jan. I do have fears now, I my scale does run from 125- 128....and with the warm weather here...walking has started I am working on at least 3 days a week, and with luck 4-5. I will not let my self go over 128 and I am happy at 125 or lower. What is odd for me is even when the scale says 128 my clothes don't fit different, and at times feel even like I have to much room in my waist.
I would tell any newbie to measure before, I wish I would have and I would know if thing were different or not.....
Yep, all 4 of those and a few more. I'm a bit of a control freak so I "manage" things like fears.
1) It won't work for me...I picked the most aggressive WLS out there and became a carb Nazi until fear number 3 got the best of me. I even got the metabolism test where you breath into this vacuum hose looking thingy. It was running sky high so I felt like I was winning at least for the short term.
2) During a stall thinking I won't get to goal...My last 5 or 6 months were very slow, almost stall level, but by then I was well into fear number 3. I just rode it out at -1 and -.5 pounds loss per month.
3) Don't want to go too low...I didn't want my DH thinking I looked like his mother right before she died from cancer. I was truly afraid of looking like death warmed over...probably due to a couple of well-meaning comments I got at work and DH's constant comments about me having no butt. Anyway, I started grazing on trail mix and slowed my progress way down. I made it to goal but very very slowly and I still looked like a melted candle for about 6 months after reaching goal. It's a process, nothing you can do. Patience.
4) Maintenance...bounced up a little higher than I wanted but it could have been because I added hormones about that time. I've since come back down to within 4 -5 pounds of goal. I'm good with it but I still try to limit my carbs to stay here. Dreading the "freshman 15" when I reach 10 - 15 years out. My goal is to continue drinking a lot of protein shakes a keep my sleeve as tight as possible. It's working so far.
5) Complications...I still have a fear of bowel obstructions, kidney and gall stones, or autoimmune disease. I see them occur all too often on various boards. I swing lizards everyday that I don't get any of those.
--gina
1) It won't work for me...I picked the most aggressive WLS out there and became a carb Nazi until fear number 3 got the best of me. I even got the metabolism test where you breath into this vacuum hose looking thingy. It was running sky high so I felt like I was winning at least for the short term.
2) During a stall thinking I won't get to goal...My last 5 or 6 months were very slow, almost stall level, but by then I was well into fear number 3. I just rode it out at -1 and -.5 pounds loss per month.
3) Don't want to go too low...I didn't want my DH thinking I looked like his mother right before she died from cancer. I was truly afraid of looking like death warmed over...probably due to a couple of well-meaning comments I got at work and DH's constant comments about me having no butt. Anyway, I started grazing on trail mix and slowed my progress way down. I made it to goal but very very slowly and I still looked like a melted candle for about 6 months after reaching goal. It's a process, nothing you can do. Patience.
4) Maintenance...bounced up a little higher than I wanted but it could have been because I added hormones about that time. I've since come back down to within 4 -5 pounds of goal. I'm good with it but I still try to limit my carbs to stay here. Dreading the "freshman 15" when I reach 10 - 15 years out. My goal is to continue drinking a lot of protein shakes a keep my sleeve as tight as possible. It's working so far.
5) Complications...I still have a fear of bowel obstructions, kidney and gall stones, or autoimmune disease. I see them occur all too often on various boards. I swing lizards everyday that I don't get any of those.
--gina
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
Hey, I am wondering if there are many on this board that had the DS. I am a lightweight with about a 35 BMI and am talking with Dr. Smith in Ga about the DS. I have sleep apnea so he is waiting on me to get another sleep test to see ifI can be a patient. I am not allowed to lose any weight before surgery which is a weird feeling. I feel alone being a light weight having the DS...maybe.
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