I ate cake...WTH...

OK, confession time.  I found out that I really don't dump on sugar. Fat usually gets me, or cereal and milk ( why that combo I have NO idea, but I will NEVER eat it again..lol,,)    I still rely on mostly protein shakes for my protein, meat does not sit really well in my pouch,  I can eat salads and fruits with no problems either.Also yogurts.

I was always one of those people that always said.."oh I will NEVER eat anything not on my plan.  Why have surgery if your not going to follow the rules?"  "I didn't rearrange my guts to go back to eating that stuff and gain it all back." 

Well, be very careful of what you say, it can come back and bit you in the a$$!!  I still battle with some wicked head hunger.  Everyday is a struggle.  Most days I seem to win, but some days I don't.  Since Easter I have been on a candy kick.  Only one piece a day, but I am so afraid it will go from one piece, to two pieces..to morbidly obese again.  I KNOW better than to do this stuff, why do I still do it??  It is SSSOOO frustrating to want to do the right thing, and then don't do it.  DUH....it shouldn't be that hard. I made my family hide it, its like my crack.  Cant have any trigger foods in the house, AT ALL, or I find a reason to "snack" on just a little.  Everyday..and that is exactly how I got fat!

Today my daughter got voted in for President of SOS (students of service), a volunteer club at her school. I am SO very proud of her.  and they had cake.  so I ate one small piece.  I get tired of not eating like everyone else sometimes. And it didn't even taste that good...but did that stop me?  noooooo, of course not!  ate the stupid piece anyway.  geez....what an idiot!

Sorry this is so long, but I guess I just need to get it out there, deal with it..get some good slap me upside the head advice and move on.  So anyone with any thoughts, I would love to hear them.  I am so close to goal, and maintenance is right around the corner and that really scares me!!  So vets, what do you do when your this close and start to sabotage all your hard work???     I really don't want to go back to being fat again.  This was hard work!   Thanks for listening....                      Joan                                                                                                                                               

Keep using the protein shakes as they do tend to help with cravings. 

Story:  "One of the things I used to do about cake at functions with a co-conspirator". When I was stationed at the Pentagon there were a lot of promotions and functions we had to attend during the workday. My friend and I would "share" one piece of cake. I'd get a piece of cake on a little plate with no fork, then start to mingle. My friend would walk up and covertly take the little plate from me and she'd mingle for a bit, then I'd walk up to her chat a bit and then take the little plate. We traded the little plate with the cake the entire function. Neither one of us ate cake but it always looked like we were about to. Punch was harder to manage because one of us would always forget and take a sip. lol

--g

I guess I am of two thoughts here.I really don't think it is realistic to think you will never again eat candy or cake. I do think it is important to not eat it mindlessly or just because it is there. It sounds like you were doing that with the candy. I think you have to ask your self "would that cake or candy be exactly what I want right now? Would it totally satisfy me?" If so, the first two to three bites are the best anyway. Have two bites.....but only if that is really what you want and really what will satisfy you. I struggle with this.Did you know that only 35percent rny dump? We need to find someway besides physical pain to deal with our food issues. I am finding the book "Eat what you love, love what you eat" by Dr Michelle May very helpful. You can get some info at www.amihungry.com.

Although I like sweets, cake has never been my trigger.  Especially store bought sheet cake things.  Now a homemade carrot cake, maybe. 

Anyway, a few nights ago we ate at Fridays.  They always bring cheese biscuits to the table.  Bread will call my name every time.  Until then, I had just ignored them.  That night I decided to try one.  I broke of a tiny piece and stuck it in my mouth.  Humm.  Ate another tiny bite. Decided it really wasn't as good as it looked and put the whole thing down. 

I am better at putting food down if it isn't really wonderful. And I have found that some of the things I really liked, are not so good anymore.  I used to love fried okra, about the only thing I have fried in years.  DH brought okra home from the store last week and I fried it for him.  I ate 3 little rounds and it was way too greasy for me.  Didn't make me sick, just wasn't good.  So that was it.   If it is wonderful, I have to limit what I put on my plate.  Easter I took 2 bites of each of the deserts that I thought I couldn't live without.  Could I have eaten more, you bettcha.  But I threw my plate away and went outside. 

I think that forever, I will have to keep things out of the house.  Chips, chocolate, things that ring my bell.  For when I am out, setting a limit and sticking to it is my only hope.  Part of that has to be forgiving myself if I stray, which we all will do at some point.

Don't beet yourself up too much. Like someone else said you probably can't committ to never eating cake again. I too had a sliver of cake and would do it again. I am however picky about what kind of cake and when. My son made communion and he hates flavors, filling and sugary frosting so his cake was vanilla on vanilla. I had 2 small bites and was very content. There wasn't room for much else and if there was I certainly didn't crave it. We are all human and misjudge things from time to time so as long as cake isnt your daily food choice you can still recover

Best of luck to you on your continued success!

Its moderation, not deprivation - but you HAVE to know how to control the triggers.

I used to dump - I don't anymore, but have Reactive Hypoglycemia.  Its usually triggered by CARBS.  That is a good deterant for me... but I know what triggers it and to do about it if it happens.

I can leave sweets alone, but chips are my undoing.  Just can't have them in the house. 

My BF made a carrot cake for our birthdays - was really yummy.  I had my 1 piece out of the WHOLE cake.  It sat in the fridge, he finally took it to work.  Did I want another piece?  Yes.. did I eat it, no.

Hang in there - the surgery doesn't fix our heads.

"I guess i just need to get it out there, deal with it..get some good sap me upside the head advice"......

no need for me to do that......seems that you're slapping youself around pretty good!  now move on!

one thing i'm pondering.......because i'm so close to maintenance which scares the begeebers out of me.....i'm thinking about "earning" an extra goodie occasionally......thinking about extra workouts if i eat something not on the plan......whether it's working in an extra run or extra weight training or whatever......still kicking it around in my head!  i just don't want to gain weight!  i've got my health back and don't want to throw it away!

blessings to you......now quit beating yourself up!!!

I agree with everyone else..everything in moderation! Just wanted to mention that your pouch sounds JUST like mine! can't hardly do meat either or milk but can do yogurt and protein shakes no problems..thought that was funny. I think you might dump on the milk and cereal due to the carbs in both turning into sugar. Anyway about the candy everyday, be careful with that..I went on a kick after Christmas and I could tell it was a slippery slope so I just stopped altogther and then I just lost interest and didn't want it anymore..anyway, keep doing what your doing you are doing great and don't beat yourself up..realistically you will eat cake every once in a while :)

So did you really think you would *never* eat a piece of cake ever again? Unless you are in your 80s that just seems unrealistic. I figure I'm going to live 30-50 years with this surgery. Of course I'm going to eat cake once in a while during that time.

The trick is to make things like cake be a special treat that happens very occasionally and not a regular thing or a gateway to totally stuffing your face with bad choices.

thanks everyone for your thoughts.  I guess I am getting scared about being so close to maintainence.  Not to sure what to do after that.  I suppose I just keep on doing what I was doing before. I do know better than to have my triggers in the house, and this weekend they will be GONE!  my poor hubby and daughter will just have to find there own place to hide stuff from me if they want it....lol...  I need to learn that I only need one or two bites of something (they really are the best) and then throw it away.  Just so hard sometimes!  I know I can do this, I will NOT be BEATEN by CAKE!!!   thanks all you LW's for being there for me.  I love you guys!!                                                              Joan