Struggling lately - help!

Mixing it up is good!  I have been the same weight for around a month.  This week I was in LA on business for three days, which came right after festivities that had me eating out at fancy restaurants for several days.  I ate more carbs, mostly in fruit and veggies and a few bites of desserts and didn't work out while in LA.  I came home and dropped 1.5 pounds after that week of eating.  I'm hitting the pavement and pilates again and keeping my food back to how I normally eat and know that I'll keep that 1.5 off.   I'm heading to NYC this week for several days which will again be eating out.  My goal that I gave myself was to maintain and not gain during these two weeks, so I'm delighted to actually have dropped some.

My first business trip when I was around 3 months out was tough on me.  Airports are like food Disneyland with everything right in your face.  My hotel was one that made hot chocolate chip cookies in the evening and I remember eating one and afterwards feeling like such a failure.  It helped me not do it again the next night.  I so get the compulsive eating part of all this.  I refer back to my years in OA where I learned to follow a food plan, when things get rocky and slider foods look so appealing.

You'll be just fine!  Congrats on the gym workouts!

Yep for me its about forgiving myself and trying for better the next day ( or that hour ) Its the guilt and the obsessiveness that gets us and then makes us throw our hands up in the air and say " just chuck it ! "

I haven't chucked it lol for 22 months . THats pretty cool . I haven't always eaten WELL sometimes I tasted things I shouldn't , ive even dumped , and sugary treats have jumped in my mouth on many an occasion . But overall... my eating is SOO much better ( and less than ) before surgery . .

And whenever I have a GOOD day , or even a GOod meal with the right portions and no extra bites - I remember to thank God for lifting the obsession and the eternal hunger for "MORE " and just letting me finally LIVE .

I do love OA and looking at the reasons why I overeat and why I treat myslef badly or allow others to treat me badly in other areas of my life . Food was my comfort but allowing abuse ( including self neglect ) was my pattern. I am breaking that pattern and forging a far better , far happier, more successful and more organized life for myself thanks to OA .

Whenever I have a hard time with food .. thats what I think ... how can I LEARN from this experience and not have to repeat the same mistake twice ?

What emotion / denial / pain /frustration /perhaps anger am i STUFFING ?

Thank you, my friends, for your support, insight and advice. I am feeling more grounded today, and ready to move forward. I am relieved that I will have the structure of home this week to get back on track. Today's eating is much better!

I pondered what I might be stuffing. I was not consciously thinking about it this past week, but I am a little anxious about my endoscopy on Monday. Hopefully, it will be smooth sailing. Whatever happens, I know I will be fine. Time to let it go and enjoy the movies tonight.

Have a great weekend.
Amy

Well, I totally understand....I'm the queen of "best laid plans"!
It certainly doesn't sound like you ate enough to GAIN weight...(even if the scale is up a bit!)

I get totally side-tracked by BLT's  (bites, licks, and tastes)....  Some days are better than others.  Great job on the exercise though....that should have off set the extra eating quite well!

Hang in there...you are doing SUPER!

Thanks, Peyton. I ended up losing .8 so the scale was kind to me. I need to be vigilant because I know the compulsive eating is a slippery slope. The last couple of days have been much better, thankfully.

Amy