Good Morning. Politics, religion and WLS...

...three things you don't want to discuss with family, friends or strangers. Well, I don't consider us strangers, so it's ok to discuss WLS here as long as we don't start a surgery war. (see the LW Creed post) Oh, and I understand that some boards have "my surgeon is better than your surgeon" wars too. Of course there's always "vitamin wars" -- those are fun. Alrighty, then. 

Being on public forums is a lot like walking through a minefield. I was researching my computer issue and sure enough, they flame newbies on geeky forums too. lol Luckily, their search functions are much better than OH's so I could lurk around and get answers rather than asking a dumb newbie question that's been asked over and over again.

So, tell us about your "fun and flames" experiences on these boards and how you overcame the hurt and fallout. You guys know the LW board was created by OH because we were being turned into crispy critters on the main board and surgery specific boards, right?

Y'all have a great Wednesday.

--gina

Interesting.  I am too much a newbee to have known that we were started because of being abused on the other boards but it doesn't surprise me.  I do still read and sometimes, seldom, reply on the RNY but almost never on the main board.  Don't need any extra drama in my life.

My only other board experience is from horses (surprise).  On those, everyone is either helpful, or a know-it-all, so I guess they are more like any other. We certainly have those that complain about everyone else's post and questions, the spelling gurus, training difference, breed differences, and a few brave souls that try to make sense of it all.  I learn very quickly to scroll and delete and stay out of the fray.  Mostly on those, I read or move on.

I was on the RNY board at first posting my questions and got alot of,"Why the HELL are you having surgery you are ONLY 208"....really ticked me off and because I was "so little" I would not get any helpful information. Someone suggested here and I have not gone back since....

I didn't realize, Stacy that you got that same flack on the main RNY board. I did too, and I already had a confidence issue with my decision to go forth with WLS (I don't any longer btw...). I was also referred here, and it was a perfect fit! Not sure how I would have coped without this specific forum. It was, and still is my lifeline.

I asked a question on the main forum once, and had someone answer "why don't you just diet and exercise, you don't have much to lose?".... Uugghhhh!!! Like I hadn't been dealing with that same question from my husband!

Well, I've come a LONG way in 6 months. I am down 79 pounds, healthy as ever. My confidence is so much higher, and I am very happy. I also am a mentor of sorts (even though I never wanted to be a LW pioneer), and have helped a lot of ladies either understand this choice, or to actually entertain the notion that WLS may even be an option they'll "consider".

And as a footnote, my husband is proud of my success, and LOVES the new THIN me! Even though he never struggled with his weight, he understands fully now that I DID. Aahhhh, life is good.


Kim

I worked from home yesterday and had more time to watch the OH boards.  I saw some mean spirited things.  One was a post from harping on a post from 4 months ago that was dug up saying how people are stupid because they don't know about their surgery.  Another was talking about a member who posted about being around a long time (years) and getting sick to their stomach and being grateful for not getting sick on their clothes.  The comments were spiteful and just disappointing.

I read the other board because there are times when I want surgery specific information.  If other people are treated like that, I won't post and give them a chance to do the same to me.

I'm glad I found the Light Weights!!!!

Kay

Good morning, and yeah, the LW board was my salvation and got me the correct info when I asked...without feeling like I was stupid for asking.

I know they say to do a google search on OH in specific for answers but this search function is pitiful at best. We should not have to go "outside" to google to find things, even assuming you manage to find it.

And Gina, that search is not great either on the forum I recommended but it's better than here by a long shot. I'm assuming you did go to that one? The nice thing with that software as with most is they use stickies for information. The FAQ type stuff that people ask all the time.

The one war I don't understand is the "my surgeon is better than yours". We can't all go to a handful of surgeons...esp the DS crowd. Mine isn't on the "vetted" list but he does them, has done them for a number of years now, does LW's, and does revisions but if I mention that he handles revisions, I would be strung up. So I don't mention it.

Liz

Nah I didn't know that but boy were my flanks were seriously SEARED when I first went to OH chat . I was called everything from perpetrating an insurance fraud to an anorexic lol! And this kept on and on and on to this very day ( by certain people ) ... so the lightweights forum is DEFINITELY needed .

I in turn really needed the information how to deal with my insurance company and the daily support the incredibly frustrating six months leading up to surgery and the months afterwards as my body and life dizzingly rapidly changed .

I sure do love the gentle lightweights forum .

Now sometimes I go back there and just think jealous nasty b...s .... look at the SOURCE ...and there ARE an awful lot of genuinely NICE people on there too who are regularly scared away by the nasty bullies lol .

I think the forums are the same way ... somehow the drama queens ( and kings ) dominate ... Grr

I am not sure how my comment is going to be received, but here goes.  Some of us overweight people have serious emotional problems.  That is why we are overweight.  Food is how we have dealt with our emotions.  We have used food as our comfort, etc.

To be honest, I do not think I have serious emotional problems, but I will not exclude myself completely.  I know I have used food for emotional reasons at time.  The point I am trying to make is that some of the people on these broads have "Major Emotional Problems ."  Being around the weight lose community for years has brought me into contact with a lot of unusual people.

Please do not take my comments personal and do not flame me.  I love this board although I do not post often.

Ruby
RNY  3/2005
262/125/135
hi/lo/today

I've seen a few posts on the RNY board where people weren't very nice, and even saw a thread where there was a surgery war - and there were many people trying to "play nice" on it, but were flamed for that.  Nope - not my style and I don't need it.

Couldn't tell you the last time I got on the Main board.  I see LW's (or who qualify as such) on the RNY board and want to say "hey - come visit us"... but I don't.  I feel almost like its the same as going into a business and taking someone from there and bringing them to yours.  They'll figure it out in time if they want.

I had the forum sent to me by my ex-boss who also had the surgery, so I jumped straight to this one and didn't have to go through the learning curve of the Main and RNY boards.  There are a few other boards I frequent, but the people there are nice too. 

I was on a yahoo forum once and geesh - you mentioned vitamins and you "heard" something and someone would jump down your throat (and I'm sure its here too) how they HATE it when someone gets on and says they "read" something and couldn't substantiate the source... ok - well, that could be a topic of discussion in itself, but just to flame someone for saying something?  Nope, not for me.  I deleted myself from the group, plus it seemed like there were a LOT of gripers on there....

As far as "my surgeon is better than yours" - that in itself needs specific, quantifiable information, especially before I got involved in such a meaningless tirade.  I don't need the drama.  As long as we're alive and losing weight, they're all the same...well.. most of the time.

i didn't knwo about the LW board til a read a post from a newbie who was told they needed to be on the LW board!  what an awesome thing i found by coming over to the LW side!!!

I LOVE THE LW BOARD!!!  WOOHOO!!!  YIPPEEE!!!!  no drama here....just concern and compassion and lots of peeps wanted to make a difference!!!!

love you all!!