Good Morning. Minorities and Majorities

As our country gets heavier and heavier (overweight and obese BMI), why is it that we hear and see so much about fat-prejudice? I'm wondering if it's fear that the folks who are so terribly prejudice are actually afraid of becoming fat themselves. Or, are they just incapable of understanding that everyone doesn't share their particular genetic make up, experiences and predispositions?  I don't get the hostility and disgust some folks heap on overweight and obese people. Will the prejudice swing the other way when obese people become the majority? I've read that, in the past, an overweight figure on a woman was considered more desirable than thin. What gives? Thoughts?

Y'all have a great Tuesday.

--gina

I totally agree. I have seen people that are literally repulsed by fat people, not particularly overweight people, but fat people. I have heard and agree with the statement that the 2 prejudices left that are still socially acceptable to discriminate against are fat people and smokers! I know as an obese child, that the prejudice against me and all the making fun of, totally scarred my childhood, I was a self depricating child who grew into a clinicly depressed teenager with suicidal thought constantly running through my head. I became an adult with no self-esteem or self-worth. As I have told numerous therapists, "nobody can hate me more than myself." I am finally at 32 years old trying to break myself of these feelings after substance abuse, horrible decision making and now I'm trying for a better life. My daughter has my same body type and she is 6 years old with a full set of boobs...I cry whenever I think about her having to go through what I endured. I do not want my child to feel inferior and disgusting to others. That's the reason I didn't want children, so I wouldn't be responsible for bringing another person in the world that has the potential to have a life like mine. No child, or person, or even animal should have to go through that.....  

I think the whole genetic make up thing is hard for folks.  You can believe that genetics plays a part in height, eye color, etc but substance abuse, mental health, weight, seem harder.  And I thinik there is a lot of questioning between nurter and nature.  Were we raised that way (good or bad) or were we destined to become that way?

ie  My nephew was a bad kid, always pushing the limits with drugs, speed, girls.  He died in his 30s and left a son, who my SIL is raising.  He is pushing the same way, still young but you can see it coming.  So is it genetics or is it because the same "mother" is raising both boys.

All of my family carried their excess weight in their tummy.  That is probably genetic.  We all have high BP and Cholesteral.  That is probably genetic.  I was the only one who was morbidly obese.  That was part genetic and part that I married someone a foot and 5" taller than I was and tried to keep up with him eating.

I will admit to being pretty disgusted at what some folks put in their bodies as energy, whether they are fat or thin.  Maybe that  is part of what you see also.

Good question.  Very thought provocing.

I definitely feel like I was discriminated against when I was heavy.  In the work place I get the feeling, that you can't be that smart/good at your job if you let your body get out of control. I felt it more when I was MO. 

I think is will become more acceptable as America gets heavier, but I bet we will still see a trend of thinner people being given more opportunity to lead/power/pay.

I try not to discriminate because of weight, but when I see someone who is obviously MO, I cringe.  Having been there, I just want to tell them my story to get them on a path to healthier life.  I'm like an evangelical WLS patient.  I feel the need to spread the word, but I don't want to embarrass or hurt anyone's feelings.  I don't approach strangers.  My MO friends and co-workers see how I've changed these past few months and they usually ask, "how did you lose your weight?"  That's when I share. 

Kay

Wow, very thought provoking.  I'm not sure the prejudice will swing the other way anytime soon.  Part of the reason is that advertising is so intrenched in using skinny models and that's not changing at all, as far as I can see.  I believe that advertising is a powerful element in our perceptions because it's so pervasive.  If we lived in a culture where our only mirrors were ourselves, and we were getting fatter, then yes, our prejudices would change because the norm was changing.  But because advertising and our primary entertainment (TV and movies) use thin spokespeople (the current norm) , we have a standard set before us that isn't true to the growing majority of the population.  Thus the uncomfortable dilemma, which creates stress, which creates prejudices.  

Maybe a general cultural prejudice against MO and overweight people isn't a bad thing.  Especially if it provokes people to try and lose their excess weight.  I truly believe my heath has improved 100% in 4 months post op. having lost 50 pounds with 40 more to go.  I did quit smoking, I'm exercising, and my mental health has improved because I'm experiencing improvements in my general health. (Maybe my natural endorphins work better because they have less body mass to feed).  It really may be a helpful prejudice in the long run, for the betterment of the human condition.  

Good Morning Gina,

Having been MO for so many years, I can honestly say that I'm happy that I've been in a good job for 17 years.  If I had to go out looking for a new job now, I would feel much better about it in this body than I did at 249.  I think life is so much easier from this vantage point.  I still turn sideways when walking through people situations because in my mind's eye, I'm still much wider than I actually am. 

Who knows if things will swing the other way.  I doubt it because all reports show/prove that being slimmer is healthier and when we have less MO related diseases, that's hard to fight with.  If this keeps me out of the Alzheimer's ward, or the dialysis ward, or the stroke ward, it won't matter to me if people want to ridicule me for a slim body.

Desirable vs healthy?  I know what I'll take.  I just pray that I can maintain this new body through life's ups and downs.  I hope that I have learned enough lessons in this past year to know how to take care of myself both mentally and physically to achieve lifelong good health.

I look at fat people with a lot more compassion now that I'm not pretending that I'm NOT one of them.  I never saw myself as fat as I really was and had justifications about my size etc.  Comparison pictures from pre-op to now really hit home my own personal reality.

Great post, very thought provoking.

I think when it comes to food and weight there will always be opposites, just like my sister and I.
She is a restricter when it comes to food, and I am a permitter. We have 2 very different views on food. Is it genetic or learned? I think its a little of both, we are 22 months apart in age and had basically the same upbringing. She does have a fear of becoming overweight and it does concern her that she and my father are the only ones in our immediate family that are not overweight.
As for the hostility I think people believe that there must be some personality flaw, or that we are just lazy and eat too much. How many times have you heard, jus****ch what you eat and exercise!  And maybe the fear that its contagious with the rise of obesity in our culture. Plus it seems that a part of human nature tends to be mean when something is different or not preferred in a culture be it weight, color or shade of skin, religion and the list goes on and on.

As for the past views, I always thought I would have made a great renassiance model. Laying on an old piece of furniture or expensive blanket nude! I am fair and had some soft curves!!
I think this was considered desirable because that woman did not have to work in the fields and be exposed to the sun, and be muscular or thin, she was a woman of luxury!

IMHO.

 

 Well as a realistic  artist  I think  overweight  people  are beautiful. So are slim people  with dancers lines and naturally muscular /athletic people .  I think  God  made us  all gorgeous  and paint-  and sculpture  worthy  ;) 

I do think this idea  that one person is " better "  than another because they are slimmer  is  unfair .   But  being slimmer  generally does imply more self discipline .  

I  do have  a problem with the mood swings  of the  overweight  .... its a bit similar to  working with an alcoholic or an addict .. U just never know what ure going  to get  ..hard work one day ,an attitude and  "illness " the next .   Unpredictable , unpleasant  and often unreliable . 

That said probably the most hardworking and  helpful person  I work with IS  overweight  .  And he work s  for next to nothing - which is another symptom  of overweight people .  But he tends to scream and take his  frustration out in a pound of flesh so to speak so I pay the price for working with him anyway .  

My husband is  also overweight . I can count on him to do everything at the last possible minute  if at all .  I can also count on him to belittle me verbally ... to use his mouth as a weapon to hurt  everyone  around him constantly  ... and not to know the meaning of being a team player .   He is very ego driven like a child  .. so he either tries to take on too much ( like major negotiation when  hes never done it before successfully)  and puts the entire project at risk  or risks the entire project by not doing the most elementary things like putting  things in the mail on time .  

He's basically a walking hazard .  BUT he's  hardworking ... and a good person.

 I  would characterize  what happens to people  when they are overweight ( generally  , of course generalizations are ALWAYS  wrong individually by definition ) .. as a retardation of the natural  maturing process.    Im starting to look  at overweight  people  particularly overweight men as  basically  big ,old kids  with major self-esteem  issues .   

 The prejudice is sooooo sad.  We don't help the situation either when we sit idly by and let people treat us poorly.  I know some people have chosen to keep their WLS private and I respect that choice.  I have gone the opposite route.  I tell whoever asks.  After years of therapy I choose to no longer be ashamed about  anything.  That means I'm not ashamed that I needed WLS to get healthy.  I don't see it as an easy way out, we all know it is incredibly hard work.

A dozen years ago my daughter (who is now 21) was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder and as a family we experienced the prejudice against mental illness from friends, family and co-workers.  Neither of us has chosen to hide her struggles.  I am so proud of all she has accomplished and how she has continued to grow and mature despite her illness.  

We must all do our part to stand up to prejudice in any form or there will never be significant change. Remember when breast cancer and alcoholism were taboo subjects?  That didn't change until First Lady Betty Ford spoke up.  Change can happen.
Janet

Very interesting reading today. If you look at the different posts and read what each person writes, do you think the problems that people have stem from being overweight or their particular cir****tances in life?

I have been overweight almost all of my life.  I had a very happy childhood.  I may have been made fun of by some of the boys in school - but they did that to a lot of the girls not just the overweight ones.  I played all sports and had fun in school and at home.  Would I have pushed myself harder if I were slimmer??  Who knows.  Also I'm older so kids now seem a lot different than when I grew up.  Or is it that it is posted on TV and the internet so we hear alot more about it now??  I've had good jobs and really good friends.  That has not changed since I lost weight.  I am a lot more secure in myself and seem to be more comfortable in social situations.

I bet almost every thin person worries about loosing that control and becoming obese.  Heck, I worry about it everyday now!!  My heart goes out to someone *****ally wants to lose the weight and doesn't have the opportunity that I had given to me.

Linda