In training 'til Friday
I'm back and not a bit smarter! 
The training was just the same ole thing with new words. Not your feelings or judgements, but "your story". Not the problem, but the situation; not the solution, but the purpose.
The one really good thing I learned was that if you say something and follow it with "but", you lose the listener. They are still focusing on what you said before you said "but", and whatever you have to say after that is a lie, in their opinion. That would explain why when my dd called the other night and started the conversation with ,"I'm not mad at you, but.....". It made me mad and our conversation went down from there. Now, with my training, I can more politely, and with less emotion, tell her I don't give a damn if she's mad. Oh wait.................not what I learned!
The training was just the same ole thing with new words. Not your feelings or judgements, but "your story". Not the problem, but the situation; not the solution, but the purpose.
The one really good thing I learned was that if you say something and follow it with "but", you lose the listener. They are still focusing on what you said before you said "but", and whatever you have to say after that is a lie, in their opinion. That would explain why when my dd called the other night and started the conversation with ,"I'm not mad at you, but.....". It made me mad and our conversation went down from there. Now, with my training, I can more politely, and with less emotion, tell her I don't give a damn if she's mad. Oh wait.................not what I learned!
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