Random Stress

I got my date for my hernia surgery.  It is April 15th, 2 weeks from today.  It is only an overnight stay so I am sure it will be fine.  I swore after my last surgery that I would never have surgery again.  I had such a hard time when I first woke up.  I won't go into details but I was afraid after that surgery that I wouldn't get better.  It was my fault because I smoked at the time and they were having a hard time getting my oxygen levels to stay up.
I am still worried but since I don't smoke anymore I am hoping I won't have such a bad time.
Also, I heard from my sister tonight.  My mother isn't doing good and she said that she probably wouldn't last much longer.  My mother has been suffering from dementia for a while and in a way I have been grieving because she hasn't been herself for a long time.  I feel like I lost my mother a long time ago.  I am trying to decide if I want to go to California to say my good byes.  I went through this 4 years ago when my father was dying and by the time I got there he didn't know who I was and it was very painful to see him that way.  The last time I saw my mother she was still doing pretty good and I don't know if I want to see her now and remember her this way, yet I want to say good bye.
My sister is going to see her soon and she will hopefully be able to tell me more about her condition and I will decide then.
Physically I am doing better all the time.  I hope I don't have a set back after the surgery.  I know that I tend to get depressed after surgery.

For me, it was important to see my mom before she died...10 years ago.  No matter how old you are it is hard to lose your mother and it sounds like you have been losing her slowly over time.  She may not know who you are, but you know who she is and what she has meant to your life.  My recommendation is to go visit.

Kay

I'm glad I got to see my mother before she died.  I didn't get to see my dad because his was unexpected and I have alway regreting not being able to say goodbye to him.

Maybe you can ask for some antidepressant before surgery.  I think the meds I was on helped me recover with none of the mood swings so many folks have.

I haven't smoked in 30 yrs but I couldn't get my o2 levels up after surgery, plus I was retaining fluid and kept having to have lasix.  I certainly understand not wanting any more surgeries but this one should be a help long term.

I'll be swinging for you.

You need to go see her.  Even though she may not be the same person you remember, you still need to say your goodbyes.  I haven't been put in your place yet, but I know it won't be long before i am.

I've had more surgeries than I care to count... there's different ways to look at surgeries:  surgeries that are vital to your health and those that are elective and not.

A hernia surgery will help you and allow you to get off the meds and out of pain.  I agree with Price, ask for anti-depressants - it may just be what you need!  If I remember correctly, you'll need to start taking them early so they have enough time to build up in your system.  Also, with the stress of your mom, it may help you through that too.

(((HUGS))) to you. 

 

Thanks.  I am already on antidepressants.  I was switched pretty recently and they seem to be working ok but I am working with a doctor and a counsellor so I should have good support.