the ongoing struggle with the boss ( and myself)

Ava, walk away with your dignity.  You're way too young to put up with the crap for years to come.  Starting over and building something that truly belongs to you would be so rewarding.  Will DH support you while you figure out your life?

We all make choices.  I think the main questions is, why have you put up with this for all these years?  The guy really doesn't deserve a work partner like you and from the sounds of it, you may do this for years to come and then end up with nothing.  Why not do something you love?

He's digging in his heels the stubborn old coot so I'm taking his orchids and violas away lol . He's hungry as a bear ..but craftily laid in all his favorite binge foods - donuts , ritz crackers , bottled pickled herring ... and Dinty Moore beef stew ( is that beef or Dawg in there )

Hell be a happy man for a few days i guess ... grrrr . its definitely a Mexican ( or Hungarian) standoff lol !

He says .. get this .. hes not even sure there IS another earring ( there's only a pendant and a ring to match ) - i don't know whether to or at this point .... .

Well , I transplanted some baby leeks and garlic chives and two marvelous pyramidical cauliflower/ broccoli cross seeds came up out f a bunch of ANCIENT seed and the plants are thriving

Im going to steel myslef and go over seven years of old accounting and see what the ONB stole ... and add it up with interest and a tariff for lost opportunities ... I BETCHA it'll be a HEFTY sum... and present him with a bill on Monday . I Might even seek legal counsel ...

I am tired of being trifled with....

How about seeking legal counsel first so that the bill you present him with can be as effective as you need it to be?

It's amazing how lost jewelry will turn up when the furniture is moved.  You'll find it (them) as you clear the chaos I'm sure!  

Take care of you Ava... you're the only one *****ally can.

P.S.  I've never owned an orchid, green diamond, or had 80,000 in savings to lose... There are many ways you've been blessed... but sometimes less is more and whatever you decide you need to do, you'll be okay.  :-)

ava, you are a smart woman. 
why are you putting up with this?   If you leave, what does he have left?  If nothing, leverage that.

I'm like Ruthie..... I don't have 80K, let alone 80K to lose, and I don't even know what a green diamond is--although the proverbial gardener you are, i bet it looks gorgeous on you!!

Ava, Ruthis is right on. Please run not walk to legal counsel so you can sort this out with protection. This guy sounds like the type that will not change his ways as a result of reason. Time for a well-considered power play, and then a change in venue.

Good luck!
Amy