Does your head EVER catch up?

well I feel neither tiny nor fat . The body I see in the mirror is the same exact one I saw before surgery ... with the same dilemmas . I always saw it as a beautiful body though .... I kind of hated not being able to wear the middle emphasizing fashions and upper arm emphasizing fashions because I looked like a football player and /or pregnant lol.


I STILL have a body thats kind of two different sizes ..but I CAN wear comfortably whatever I want now . Needless to say I spend most of my time in jeans withthe waistband down HERE and rear cleavage ... and sequined tops that show my upper arms . Why not ? Life is short ...

my core still isnt what I'd like it to be ...

my arms for that matter could be a LOT better ...

and i wish i was 20 lbs lighter ...

LOL

who doesnt ? In REALITY im supremely grateful for my good health , for having this opportunity , this second chance if U will ... Im just happy to have a chance to live the life I WANT rather than the far smaller life I was FORCED to ...

Well visually, my head caught up with  my body about a month ago. I was hold a turtleneck I was about to put on and I thought wow, this is so small! After that I was finally able to see my true reflection in the mirror and really liked what I see.

However, my feelings about what I see are not there yet, at least to the level I want them to be. I should be really happy about the weight I've lost, but I worry too much about getting to a goal, whatever that might be. My surgeon said 170 given my total cir****tances would be good, but I can't shake thinking I'd like to be 140. 

So, we shall see where I end up. Being a slow loser is very hard. But I also had a very entrenched eating disorder for more then 43 years of my 47 years of life.

Oh yeah, I hear I'm tiny too, but at 180, I don't feel tiny, but it is a lot better then 240.

Andrea

Oh Jody.....you know I'm with you on this question!!!  I wish...so wish..I could get my head to see what I truly look like Now!!!!  If I see a picture of myself (full length), I kinda see my size.  But I don't see it when I look in a mirror!!  GRRRrrrrr!!  When I think of this, sometimes I want to cry (a little now), because I find it sooo frustrating!!!!  I get the comments "oh, hope you don't lose any more, you'll wither away on us" or something to that extent.  I do what you do...I say "well, I've been maintaining for a couple of years now.  And I'm up about 10-15 lbs from my lowest."!  I think I was in the 150's in HS, but I thought I was fat in HS!  Looking back, I think no I wasn't that fat in HS...pretty average.  Now I'm in the low-mid 130's and I feel just as fat as then!!!

I went shopping today at Kohl's, picked up a sweater....thought it won't fit, it will be too small.  NOPE, it fit great!  Even had a bit of room (a Small probably would've fit, but been a bit too "form" fitted for me)!  I was looking at skirts also, I saw one that looked like it should fit......then I looked at the size...it was a 12!!!!!!!!!!  HELLO, you're in a 4!!!!!!!!  I wanted to scream to myself!  I get depressed thinking about this sometimes!! 

Ok, I'm done venting!  Thanks for listening!!

Just because you weigh more than you used to doesn't mean you aren't tiny. If you are a size 4 or smaller, then IMO you are tiny.

I weigh more than I weighed in HS and about what I weighed when I graduated from college. But I am much smaller now. The difference is that I have a lot more muscles and much less fat. So my volume in space is less even if my mass is more.