I'm hating life right now.......
Heather,
I've been the 14, trying to act 30 and hating you route. As Abby said, we can love our kids and still hate how they act. Mine is now 25. But if I could have skipped some of the years and tears between the time she entered 6th grade and the day she got married, I would have. Not all of them but Lord, there were many of them. I earned every gray hair on my head and the right to wear it proudly because of those years.
Just remember, it IS a stage, as hard as it is. She will outgrow it. I know it's hard on you but she will come around some day and thank you for being a parent and for being more stubborn than she was.
As for your job, I don't know what to tell you. I suspect the hours you work also pay better and is tied to needing money for the first issue.
Is Halle unfocused because she is needing medication or maybe she is not challenged by the school work? She may be brighter than what they are teaching and may be bored with what is going on. And is being put in the slot of needing meds instead of being challenged at school by her work.
Case in point: My 12 year old (at the time) was seriously acting up and bored in school. Rather than medicate her, we pulled her out and homeschooled her a year (I realized that isn't an option for you). When we went to put her back in school, we petitioned to have her tested out and ended up putting her a grade ahead. In other words, she skipped her entire 8th grade. Going into the 9th, she was finally challenged and HAD to work her butt off to keep up. And she was no longer bored. She's the 25 year old now.
Sometimes it's not the kids fault but the school, they aren't challenging the kids at the level they really need to be challenged at. They focus on the middle which punishes the high achievers who get bored and frustrated and many end up unfocused and coming close to failing as a result.
Liz
I've been the 14, trying to act 30 and hating you route. As Abby said, we can love our kids and still hate how they act. Mine is now 25. But if I could have skipped some of the years and tears between the time she entered 6th grade and the day she got married, I would have. Not all of them but Lord, there were many of them. I earned every gray hair on my head and the right to wear it proudly because of those years.
Just remember, it IS a stage, as hard as it is. She will outgrow it. I know it's hard on you but she will come around some day and thank you for being a parent and for being more stubborn than she was.
As for your job, I don't know what to tell you. I suspect the hours you work also pay better and is tied to needing money for the first issue.
Is Halle unfocused because she is needing medication or maybe she is not challenged by the school work? She may be brighter than what they are teaching and may be bored with what is going on. And is being put in the slot of needing meds instead of being challenged at school by her work.
Case in point: My 12 year old (at the time) was seriously acting up and bored in school. Rather than medicate her, we pulled her out and homeschooled her a year (I realized that isn't an option for you). When we went to put her back in school, we petitioned to have her tested out and ended up putting her a grade ahead. In other words, she skipped her entire 8th grade. Going into the 9th, she was finally challenged and HAD to work her butt off to keep up. And she was no longer bored. She's the 25 year old now.
Sometimes it's not the kids fault but the school, they aren't challenging the kids at the level they really need to be challenged at. They focus on the middle which punishes the high achievers who get bored and frustrated and many end up unfocused and coming close to failing as a result.
Liz
Duodenal Switch (Lap) 01-24-11 | Surgeon: Stephen Boyce | High weight: 250 in 2002 | Surgery weight: 203 | Lowest weight: 121 | Current weight: 135 | Goal weight: 135
I don't have any words of wisdom but know that there WILL be better days ahead.....you are a mom who has a lot on her plate but ALSO a mom who loves her kids even through the most difficult times. Choose your battles with the oldest and trust your gut with the rest.....and good luck with the IRS. I got a lovely letter from them two weeks ago today.......1st time ever and it scared the hell out of me. I worked it out.......
Wishing you feelings of peace!!!!
~~Jennifer
Wishing you feelings of peace!!!!
~~Jennifer
HW/232 CW/145.2 GW/???
1. The IRS will work with you, at least they did with my sister in law.
2. I wished I could have being frozen at 13 and thawed at 18. Would have saved me AND my mother 5 years of hell. Have you ever written her a letter? Seriously. It takes some of the emotion out of battles. I don't have kids...... i think all mothers are saints.... but some of my friends do that
3. My mom was an OR nurse. I don't know how many times she must have been pulled out of surgery for an emergency phone call to hear one of her kids say something like "MOM! Mike's beating up on me. Make him stop." Yeah, right. We just didn't understand then that she had to work to put food on the table.
4. You will make the best decision about Halle because you have her best interests at heart.
5. Can you study at night when you aren't busy? Take one easy course a semester? You're obviously a REALLY smart chick. It's a shame to see you not being able to get more education if you want it.
6. 36? Doppleganger Daughter, lemme tell you my late 30s were when I bloomed. I decided that the way to meet the best person for me was to BE the best person I could be. BOOM. I met my husband. Of course, he wasn't husband material to me, which just goes to show how much I matured in the next 5 years. Yeah, and sex has gotten much better every decade..... hmmm.... should I have typed that on the internet?
I'm hugging you long distance. And sending you happy energy.
Happy Birthday EARLY HEATHER.
2. I wished I could have being frozen at 13 and thawed at 18. Would have saved me AND my mother 5 years of hell. Have you ever written her a letter? Seriously. It takes some of the emotion out of battles. I don't have kids...... i think all mothers are saints.... but some of my friends do that
3. My mom was an OR nurse. I don't know how many times she must have been pulled out of surgery for an emergency phone call to hear one of her kids say something like "MOM! Mike's beating up on me. Make him stop." Yeah, right. We just didn't understand then that she had to work to put food on the table.
4. You will make the best decision about Halle because you have her best interests at heart.
5. Can you study at night when you aren't busy? Take one easy course a semester? You're obviously a REALLY smart chick. It's a shame to see you not being able to get more education if you want it.
6. 36? Doppleganger Daughter, lemme tell you my late 30s were when I bloomed. I decided that the way to meet the best person for me was to BE the best person I could be. BOOM. I met my husband. Of course, he wasn't husband material to me, which just goes to show how much I matured in the next 5 years. Yeah, and sex has gotten much better every decade..... hmmm.... should I have typed that on the internet?
I'm hugging you long distance. And sending you happy energy.
Happy Birthday EARLY HEATHER.
RaggetyAnn (I'm just a RaggetyAnn in a Barbie Doll world.)
hw: 216 sw: 200 cw: 156 dgw: 134 mgw: 124
Heather,
I'm going to address the "medication for your child" issue first. If your child had diabetes, you wouldn't hesitate to give him or her insulin. If she had heart disease, you would make sure she took her heart pills. Why do people think it is any different with brain/attention issues. Contrary to popular belief kids are NOT overmedicated. We are just finally getting better ways to diagnose issues and discover the true problems. It used to be that kids would just be labeled as bad or trouble makers. Nowadays we know about ADHD, Asperger Syndrome, Autism, etc. Medication is a life saving measure for these kids. Don't let anyone make you feel bad if you medicate your child.
As far as your other issues, it sounds as if you may be suffering from depression. it could end up getting a lot worse if you dont' seek immediate treatment. Please go to your doctor and get checked out. Things always seem much worse/dark than they truly are when we suffer from depression.
In the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please come here to vent away whenever you need to. We are all here for you.
Hugs,
I'm going to address the "medication for your child" issue first. If your child had diabetes, you wouldn't hesitate to give him or her insulin. If she had heart disease, you would make sure she took her heart pills. Why do people think it is any different with brain/attention issues. Contrary to popular belief kids are NOT overmedicated. We are just finally getting better ways to diagnose issues and discover the true problems. It used to be that kids would just be labeled as bad or trouble makers. Nowadays we know about ADHD, Asperger Syndrome, Autism, etc. Medication is a life saving measure for these kids. Don't let anyone make you feel bad if you medicate your child.
As far as your other issues, it sounds as if you may be suffering from depression. it could end up getting a lot worse if you dont' seek immediate treatment. Please go to your doctor and get checked out. Things always seem much worse/dark than they truly are when we suffer from depression.
In the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please come here to vent away whenever you need to. We are all here for you.
Hugs,
Liz in Orlando 
Heather,
Thinking and praying for you....
I don't know if you are a spiritual person but the Bible tells us to turn EVERYTHING over to God...."worry about nothing, pray about EVERYTHING,"---he will slowly give you tools and strategies to solve your problems.
As a teacher, I think you are making a wise decision to put your child on meds. I know it's a HARD decision but the right meds. can make a HUGE difference in a child's progress, self-esteem, and overall well being. Just monitor her carefully to make sure she has the RIGHT meds!
I tell my daughter (10, going on 21) that I ALWAYS love her but I don't always LIKE her...unfortunately she's JUST like me and I'm getting PAY BACK for how I behaved as a pre-teen....we'll make it!!!! Keep parenting in the way you know is best....stay tough, don't back down from what's right and she'll go in the right path---eventually!!!
Hugs and prayers!!!
Thinking and praying for you....
I don't know if you are a spiritual person but the Bible tells us to turn EVERYTHING over to God...."worry about nothing, pray about EVERYTHING,"---he will slowly give you tools and strategies to solve your problems.
As a teacher, I think you are making a wise decision to put your child on meds. I know it's a HARD decision but the right meds. can make a HUGE difference in a child's progress, self-esteem, and overall well being. Just monitor her carefully to make sure she has the RIGHT meds!
I tell my daughter (10, going on 21) that I ALWAYS love her but I don't always LIKE her...unfortunately she's JUST like me and I'm getting PAY BACK for how I behaved as a pre-teen....we'll make it!!!! Keep parenting in the way you know is best....stay tough, don't back down from what's right and she'll go in the right path---eventually!!!
Hugs and prayers!!!
HW/SW/CW/Goal.....219 / 206 / 122 / 130
Heather
big ol giant ((((((((((HHHUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSSSSSS))))))))
I hope everything gets better for you. I dont have any words of wisdom because you're one of the persons I look to for it!!
I was a horrible teenager..... it started in 5th grade and guess who got pregnant at 17?? yup me!! Just love her unconditionally - tell her everyday out loud - and hug her
Janessa
big ol giant ((((((((((HHHUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSSSSSS))))))))
I hope everything gets better for you. I dont have any words of wisdom because you're one of the persons I look to for it!!
I was a horrible teenager..... it started in 5th grade and guess who got pregnant at 17?? yup me!! Just love her unconditionally - tell her everyday out loud - and hug her
Janessa
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