One Year Anniversary Today

Hi Everyone, sorry I haven't been on in awhile. Because my progress has been slow due to self-sabotage I tend to leave for periods of time as it is so hard to read about others progress. It just gets me down about my own.

I have 20 more pounds to go and I recently joined weigh****chers online and that is helping me lose again. Truth is, I struggled with alcohol thinking I could have it in my life, but I really can't, or at least not for a good extended period of time. I know this is not uncommon, and in some ways I'm, actually I am glad that it happened because it really helped me identify my "inner saboteur" and without that I don't think I would ever have stopped abusing myself and sabotaging myself.

I wrote a good piece about an experience I had and it will be in my book. I am currently auditing a class with the professor who supervised my dissertation using it as motivation and pressure to write my manuscript regarding my experiences with WLS. I've had two, first the lap band and then gastric.

It is amazing how hard it was for me to finally be able to come on the site and say this...I appreciate people's patience.

I've made some further career decisions. I decided I didn't want to do another Masters Degree to prepare me to be a therapist for folks like us. Instead, I am going to do 15 credits in Eating Disorders at Plymouth State University. It looks like my employer will pay for some of it. I also am going to take all the all the cooking classes in our program that trains chef's. This will allow me to provide therapeutic services as well as cooking and nutrition classes.

So, all in all, it's been a good year. I've lost 65lbs. No more diabetes, much greater self awareness. Just two weeks ago my mind caught up with my body and I could see the changes. That is an odd experience. I've also learned that though I am for the most part happier, weight loss does not solve all my problems regarding the feelings I have about  myself that led me to be obese in the first place.

It's a rough journey, but well worth it.

Andrea

Congrats on your surgiversary Andrea!
It is good to hear from you. I am so amazed at what you have learned on your journey so far.
You are very insightful. I will look for your book in the future.
Good luck with your continuing education and your new career path.


Maria

 Thanks Maria. I have learned a lot. I am a trained philosopher so it comes to me naturally to ask questions. I drove my parents crazy as a kid asking why questions. I believe it is important for me to write this book in the hopes that people will learn and gain tools to use in their own healing.

In reading my post I realized it reads as if I am leaving my profession. What I meant to say is I am training to work as a therapist with people who've struggled  like we have. The cooking piece  is because I want to be able to help people who have struggled with food learn about cooking and eating healthy meals.

Thanks for the support I really appreciate it. I'll be around more now that I've been able to admit my struggle.

Hi Andrea,
Congrats on your surgiversary.  65 lbs is quite an amount. 
Wow, you've got your hands full with school, and a great plan for the future.
congrats again, and good luck with your plans!
tracey

 Hi Tracey, congratulations on your recent surgery. You are doing great. Thanks for reminding me that 65 lbs is a lot of weight. I am much too hard on myself and am working on that. I am sure a lot of people here can relate.

I'm very excited about the future plan. My husband and I have decided we are going to buy the 1830's farmhouse we live in, use the adjacent apartment for my office to see clients and for me to offer cooking lessons/classes.

We are going to tear down the barn that needs serious work and build a kennel, fence in the yard and run a doggie day care. He's going to run it when he retires in nine years if not sooner.

So all in all, I'm feeling really great and hopeful about the present and the future.

Continued good luck to you.

Wow, you're my kind of lady.  Teaching, cooking, living and restoring an historic home, working with dogs, and in Vermont even!!

You have GOT to keep posting and telling us how things are going.  This is like the start of a good novel, Andrea!
tracey

 Thanks so much Tracey. It does sound pretty good doesn't it. So much so that I'm giddy about it. The other day in my class, I was thinking about what would make me the happiest. I knew it was, working with people who have eating disorders that led to obesity, offering cooking lessons and having a doggie day care.

What is even more amazing is the people we are renting from are willing to do a rent to own and hold the mortgage for us. Important because we are going through a tough financial time.

I found out today that after I mentioned to this to  my husband in passing he mentioned it to his colleagues and said, "I'm running a doggie day care when I retire." He's psyched.

Andrea

Happy Surgiversary Andrea!   65 lbs is GREAT!  You WILL loose those other 20 lbs!!   Dont be a stranger.  Cindy

 Thanks Cindy! It's good to be back on the board. I stayed away for too long and this is a good example of the self sabotage I tend to do. Congrats on reaching your goal!

Hi Andrea!  Good to see you back!

Believe me - we all have struggles in one way or another.  You aren't any different than anyone else on this board. 

Glad to hear you're still writing the book.  It sounds like you're very motivated to continue your education and I'm sure your life experiences from that will also be key for the book.

I like my adult beverages too, and know its NOT helping my maintenance at all... This is something I'm coming to grips with too.

Good luck!