Body Image -- Morning Ramble

Hi Kay, First of all, you are doing a GREAT job and the introspection is wonderful. I had also been in denial, about how heavy I really was, and knew that I was obese, but didn't realized how much.  When I went to see my PCP last April, he suggested WLS, which shocked me, because I didn't realize and was in denial about how obese I really was. So, I owe this journey and shedding of fat layers to him. I did the research and once I made up my mind to do the surgery, it was full speed ahead. Now, that I have met my first goal, some days I don't feel fat, but other days, all I see are the imperfections, such as loose skin, hanging boobies, and fat. It is taking awhile for my head to catch up with my body. I say, "I can't be fat and be able to wear size "x." Sometimes that helps. Other times, I think about losing 90+ lbs and it absolutely boggles my mind that I had been in so much denial, regarding how heavy I had become. Each day, I try to say positive affirmations about how well I am doing and how wonderful I feel. My energy is so higher and I am actually enjoying the exercise.

You are doing great, especially when you are doing the introspection work. It is quite a journey of self-discovery.

Great post Kay.  Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

I know exactly how you feel.  When I look at pictures now and pictures before I can't believe I though I was overweight - what a joke.  I was morbidly obese.  I don't think I really realized how bad off I was until now and I look back.

I still have issues seeing the real me.  I am much more critical of my body now that ever before.  I see more wrinkles and sagging skin.  Probably no plastics in my future so I'll just have to learn to deal with it.  I am so thankful for my surgery and feeling so much better.  I am really thankful for being able to do so much more than I ever could before.

We really should celebrate the great new things in our lives instead of tearing ourselves down for things that we can't change.  We have all been given a great gift.

Linda

Kay, you are inspiring. I am pre-op and very much in the Oh-my-God-do-I-really-look-like-that? phase of life. When I went to have my endoscopy, they had a mirror in the changing room and I swear I have never stood in front of such a brutal mirror. I realized that was how people must see me and I was sickened.

Reading your post is kind of a reality check for me. I didn't think I would be some young hard body after surgery, but I guess I kinda had rose colored glasses on. Reality says I will still very much have body image issues after I reach goal and it's the truth and I need to be prepared for it.

I will keep this in mind and even journal about it so I can remember that there will always be something I don't like, but there will be even more about me that I can find to love.



Also, Lee, I love your outlook! Your posts are always so encouraging.

Will  I get flattened by a flying frying pan if  I dare say I think  the women writing this thread are  BEAUTIFUL  ?!!      Jes saying ..... 


I think we've  all done a pretty  darn  GREAT job  with our bodies and our tools  and U know what I think  we look  TERRIFFIC   .. really .  

I wish  U guys could see  the models  who inhabit  the magazine ads  when they come into makeup  .in the morning ..or just on the subway ...  I mean theyre  beautiful , tall  skinny young grrls ( and/or eunuchs , some of 'em )  , but even at thirteen to nineteen  (which most of them ARE  )  theyre not perfect EITHER.  

Not by a LONG SHOT . 

This is why hairpiece makers have a job , makeup artists  have a job,  fashion designers have  a job , photographers have a job.retouch /photoshop artists have a job ... all to create a fantasy thats basically  UNATTAINABLE  .... so real women will ASPIRE  and BUY BUY BUY .  

We all  KNOW this  yet  we still BUY  into the fantasy that somehow if we were a certain weight  it would all fall into place .... heck no .   The finish line is ALWAYS  three feet out of reach ... its like  racing greyhounds running after the  fake rabbit .  

I personally  am glad I'm in the industry because  1)  it gives me an excuse to chase after the  fake rabbit  despite the fact that I know its fake ( because honestly it IS  fun - and I LOVE the crazy clothes and the madcap fashionistas of  all thirtyseven genders ) 

2) I see that  even the greatest beauty offers little protection against the world  .. so in the end  I  HAVE to  learn to work with what I HAVE .  I think thats the most important thing .... to make the best  use of what God has given us .. somehow when we do that HE sees  fit to give us a chance with MORE  I think .  

Isn't  it in the end all about  what  U can Give to the WORLD  ?  And assuming the BEST  form to be able to give it over  in ?  

 Jody and Ava, I want to Thank you so much for the things you've said in this thread!! I'm at goal and being awfully hard on myself....I have severe body dismorphia and sooooo much skin that unfortunately isn't going anywhere...I really love what Jody wrote...
What I get to do every morning now (two full walls in my bedroom are floor to ceiling mirrors so no hiding possible)  is to stand in front of the mirrors, look at myself and say "for today I pray for the willingness to love myself unconditionally.  My intention for today is to treat myself well both physically and mentally and appreciate all of the goodness/abundance in my life".

Thank you again,
Candy