So close to goal but so discouraged

Hi everyone,

I have been feeling pretty down lately about my weight loss even though by everyone else's standards it has been great. And even by my own standards, it's been what I thought would be great. I am not yet 1 year out from surgery (3/17 will be...) and I've lost 92 lbs.  I am now for the first time being able to put on pants in size 10 which is about the most foreign thing I can imagine. So why am I not happy? Why am I not bouncing off the walls rejoicing in how amazing I feel and how gorgeous I am and how much weight I've lost? Why am I obsessing over my body and constantly critical of it? Why don't I see me minus 92 lbs when I look in the mirror? And will I ever see what's really there? Or maybe I am seeing the reality and it's just not what I thought it would look like and wanted it to look like.  I am sure I will make it to my goal before 2 years post-op, even if it takes me the entire 2nd year to lose 30 lbs when the first one got rid of 90... but I don't want to be miserable doing it? I see so many other people with Lap bands who have not lost weight as quickly as I have and yet they are really happy with their progress. I'm not trying to complain, I'm just so filled with criticism and disgust and impatience and I can't seem to regain perspective. I think part of this is being a LW... I never really felt "that big" to begin with and I thought I'd be ecstatic just to make it below 200 lbs or to 180. But now that I'm there I feel so much bigger than I ever did. I feel like I need to be 130 before I'll feel thin, not 155 like my doctor thinks will be good.  I am afraid I won't be happy till I have no fat left on me and that's totally unhealthy from a mental perspective even more than physically. Anyone have any advice? Have you ever felt this way? How can I turn my attitude around and focus on the positive? I think I need a hypnotist or something.

Absolutely!  We all have the problems with our heads catching up with our bodies.

I know for me, my goal was to lose as much as I could and fit in the absolutely smallest size I could.  I'm over 2 years out now and have realized that fat redistributes, and what fit me at the same weight a year ago, now doesn't fit so well.  I just realize its life and I deal with it.  It doesn't bother me now that I have to look at Medium shirts or size 6 jeans....

Congratulations on losing your 90 lbs!  That's quite a feat as it is.  If you want to lose another 30 lbs, and if you will still be within a healthy BMI - then I see no harm in going for it. 

Good luck!  No one said it would be easy....

I am right there with you. I too have days where I am discouraged and even though I have lost 90 something pounds and over 100 pounds from my highest weight I am still not satisfied. I find myself feeling FAT which is far from the truth. I do not like wearing clothes that fit because i am scared my excess skin will show. I am beginning to think that no matter how small I get I will always have something about me that I do not like. I really need to learn to love me for me. I told my husband just the other day that I do not know who I am when I look in the mirror. I see thin, but it is like I am looking at someone else???? I do not feel like I look??? I hope I learn to accept myself with time and start feeling comfortable with myself. I take this as part of the journey for now and try to take one day at a time.

Oh, I feel you so hard here. At least when you look in the mirror you see skinny even if you don't recognize it as you, right? I still see fat... more fat than 90 lbs ago, I often think.  It's so weird. I know if we can just change our thoughts everything else will follow.  I need to start writing positive stuff all over my mirrors and stuff like that. How about you? Want to join in the forced self love? 

If its a true body - issue thing and U really do want to change it .. let me suggest running . its a quick fix .. it really DOES change things in a positive and SIGNIFICANT way , its EASY and cheap to do .. and its also mood uplifting ....

it also PERMANENTLY builds large muscles so its like money in the bank even when U stop ... as is weight lifting etc...

Ur bodys setpoint DOES go down FOREVER ...

Now empty fat cells unfortunately do hang around forvever too and 100 lbs is a lot to lose . Luckily for us theres liposuction which liquefies and removes them permanently ( and gets rid of their estrogen putting out and hunger promoting qualities permanently as well at the same time) and is very cheap , just a few thousand bux .

So these are both things U should think about .

I personally think theres nothing wrong or strange about wanting to experience living in our society s " ideal " body when Uve never yet had it .... why not ? Why should WE ALONE be deprived of that normal young-woman-getting -to -know -her -own -power experience ?

WHY DO WE ALONE have to settle for a Crummier than Average body ?

I say we DONt - unless we WANT to Hide our bodies under clothes ..and not deal with them after surgery . But honestly , especially if Ure fairly young and especially if ure a lightweight ...

these things like estrogen - producing excess fat cells , like skin , can be DEALT with . U just have to WANT to do it and be DETERMINED to do it .... keep Ur eyes on the PRIZE ...


its a little more of a fight ..but just look at some of the BODIES of the gorgeous lightweights in here and follow their awesome example ...

our little fitness queens

U know the TRUTH is regular women struggle with their bodies and diet EVERY day of their LIVES why do we imagine we are entitled to be any different ?

Well said Mini Me,

I had WLS, partially so I could run again.  There's something about running, that puts you in touch with your body.  You start to feel proud of your body for taking you further distances in shorter times.  Walking, and weight lifting don't do that for me.  I'm doing my first 5K in years on April 8.  I'm starting to train using a couch to 5K program, and I'm amazed at what I can do so far with 65 pounds or more yet to lose to reach goal.  Futhermore, it makes me feel fabulous, and I'm starting to like what I see in the mirror. 

Thanks (and to Mini Me too.) Believe it or not, I already do run. I've been sick on and off for the past month so I've gotten out of the habit but I was training pretty hard for a bit. Did my first 5K back in October and my goal is to run the Army 10 Miler with a friend this fall. Doing 4 miles this Saturday as long as my cough goes away by then.  I am a big fan of running, so you're preaching to the choir ;)  It hasn't changed my body much though, as far as I can tell, but I enjoy it so I'll keep going.

Go Cheryl and Thundergrrrl! U know i never realized it really did a lot for my body per se either ( though it did give me a nice SHAPE in clothes regardless of weight ..and theres a LOT to be said for that alone ) pre op ....

but when i found myself invited to run up some mountains with a few male marines on leave as the only grrl .... over a buncha non- asthmatic fellow-hiking skinny - minnies .... well thats the difference running makes ...

I think.. and im honestly the worlds LAZIEST runner lol...