Prayers needed

My mother in law has been putting off getting her colonscopy. She finally went this past week. They  have found a mass in her colon. The pathology report confirmed the surgeons belief that it is cancer. She had a CAT scan on Friday followed by a meeting with the surgeon. The plan is to go in take out the section of the colon that contains the cancer and put the good portion of the colon back together.

The night of the colonoscopy I stayed with her. She made a comment that hurt me. She was supposed to have the colonscopy done a few months ago. She said "well I guess I should have had the colonoscopy done earlier but then you had all your stuff." (This summer I had surgery and then I had to have surgery again at Christmas.) She was losing weight but I attributed it to her belief that I didn't need weight loss surgery. After all she was losing weight right along with me without surgery. When I got home and started thinking about what she said I got so angry. All I could think is she's basically blamming this cancer on me. I didn't ask for her to take care of me. I talked to my husband about it. He said that's just Mama. Ignore it. If it wasn't your surgeries she would have found some other excuse to put it off. I knew in my heart she would find some way to blame me. I love my mother in law but she doesn't believe in doctors she has treated me like a hypercondreact when I had surgery. I guess she is about to find out that doctors are truly necessary.
Please pray that I have patience and that she is a good patient. We need all the prayer we can get!

I really like your hubby and the way he thinks and helps you understand her. Ok, swinging lizards and sending up prayers for her and for you. I hope this will be a quick solution and that all will be well.

--gina

Thanks Gina!~

Swinging for you all!  God bless

I am sorry to hear about your MIL. I get the feeling that she is looking for a target for her anger and fear over her cancer. She is an adult, and you had nothing to do with her decision to delay the colonoscopy. I bet that she is blaming herself for the delay when she is alone with her thoughts.

You cannot control her behavior. You can try to insulate yourself from her negativity, while you show her as much love and compassion as you can. If you expect her to behave irrationally, you can only be pleasantly surprised.

I hope that you can be good to yourself during this difficult time. Take breaks from the intensity. A walk, a book, a movie -a distraction is helpful. I bet your MIL will need distraction as well. I will be swinging lizards for you, your DH, and your MIL.

Amy

Your words of encouragement means a lot. Thanks a bunch~ Danielle

Just like we didn't "have to have" surgery, we took our health in our own hands.  Your MIL should have done the same with her health.  But I know I have put off going to the Dr when I really didn't want to know what they were going to say anyway. 

I'm swinging that she will get through this ok and will have a new understanding of taking care of herself, and for you who will have to go through it will her and your DH.

Prayers coming your way for her health and for your patience! :) I know how irrational MILs can be. Like has been said before...sounds like her fear has been misplaced onto you in the form of blame. Sorry you are having to deal with that...hopefully she will realize her error and apologize but if not, you know the truth and that is all that matters :)

she sounds like a travel agent for a guilt trip.....what kept her from having her colonoscopy BEFORE you "had all your stuff?"   

Generally I'm a kind person, but foot in mouth disease happens. I too have been accused of opening my mouth just to change feet, and it normally happens when I'm scared or angry.  She was going through a very tough few hours.... possibly you could let the comment float away on the wind, and recognize that she is dealing with a very tough blow right now. 

You are SO kind to be there for your MIL.

I will be thinking about your MIL and You.  The word Cancer is a Very Scary word and it makes people say things that they wouldn't normally say or even think.  At the time she probably did put herself on the back burner because she wanted to help you (Mom's do those things), but if she would have known it was Cancer you and your DH would have insisted on her getting checked.  I know it's going to be difficult but I Pray God gives you the strength to get through it.

My Mom had her thyroid removed in Sept. and she said some pretty mean things to my Sister and I but I knew she was just scared.    I was there for my Mom 24/7 while she was going through this and our relationship is stronger than ever but My Sister on the other hand is still holding everything she said against her but it is hurting my Sister more than it is my Mom. 

Prayers and (((HUGS)))