Good Morning. The easy way out?

WLS, at least for most LWs, is effective and efficient, which in turn makes it easy to be successful. Does this mean we have taken "the easy way out"? In a way, yes. We have found something that actually works, and for most of us, it works long term if we continue to respect our surgeries. The first few months is not "easy" and I have to keep that in perspective because I've already forgotten the pain and weakness I felt immediately post-op...sort of like giving birth, you forget the pain after a time. 

Will normal people resent you because you've taken the easy way out? Probably. The fundamentalist martyrs will continue to beat and starve themselves trying to achieve and maintain WL Nirvana with only some hard-won temporary success. It's like a religion to them and they think you're a heretic for doing it with surgical help and resent you for achieving what they have to work so hard for. 

Your overweight friends and family will resent you because you're doing something they are afraid to do themselves or perhaps just don't have the means to do it. Keep in mind that they may resent you on the surface but you've actually given them permission to do it too if they ever decide to take action. You've planted a seed and it's up to them whether they help it grow.

Your heavier WLS friends may resent you as well. You started out at a much lower weight and BMI, therefore you may have an easier time achieving and maintaining normal BMI. In this group you may discover who your true friends are. You still have something in common but you may be more successful. Can they celebrate your success with you? 

There's nothing wrong with taking the effective, efficient and easier way out of a life of pain and illness that obesity traps us in. Hold your heads up and be proud you made a smart move when you did. Be successful!

--gina
 
  

I'm proud I took "the easy way out"!  My coworker and I were talking about that just last evening.  It was her first day back after having RNY and she had told 2 of her shift mates and was waiting to tell the third until the day shifters were gone.  She walked in on a conversation between one of the day shift people and her shift mate that she hadn't told yet.  They were basically calling people who choose to have WLS are lazy whiners.......LOL  I just hope they weren't refering to me.....LOL  Thats ok though......I'll watch the one go through her "diet" for the next few months then when she puts the weight back on I will silently chuckle to myself......while Mary and I sit there in our skinny bodies..LOL

Great POST!!!!

My response to "the easy way out" comments is "so what?"  I really beat myself up for passing judgment on other people.  I don't tolerate it well when others do it to me.

For me, WLS was a last resort.  It isn't as though all of us haven't tried more conventional means of weight loss.  I'm so thankful to be seeing results!

So what if you think its easy?  You weren't there to watch me lose, regain, and gain on other diet programs. 
So what if others don't like it?  I'm still healthier. 
So what if you think its easy? I know that I have to monitor my diet and exercise closely.  Only I know how "easy" the journey really is for me. 
So what if you are judging me?  I learned a long time ago, that my opinion counts the most in my life.  I'm my own worst critic. 

Amen Gina, "There's nothing wrong with taking the effective, efficient and easier way out of a life of pain and illness that obesity traps us in." 

My weight loss journey is about me and my health.  I want to live longer to enjoy those around me.  I have to admit that I LOVE looking better.  I LOVE putting on my skinny clothes and finding them too big.  I LOVE the reaction I get from people who haven't seen me in a long time.  I LOVE when my husband gives me a hug and says "there is less of you to hug every day." These are all bonuses for me.  My health issues have nearly all resolved.  I feel like I've added years to my life.  I'm excited abou****ching my grandkids grow up and being a part of their lives.  WLS has given me my health and extra years of my life back!  So what do you have to say to that?

(Sorry for the soap box sermon.  Can you tell I have strong feelings on this issue?)

Kay

I havent had anyone tell me that to my face yet, but if they do... here's my response:

Hmmmmm  lets see,   it took me 17 months of jumping thru hoops for my insurance company to approve my surgery.   I have to be aware of every morsel I put in my mouth.   Eat too fast, I'll get sick.  Eat too much, I'll get sick.  Eat too much fat/sugar, there's a chance I'll get sick, curl up in a fetal position and wonder if Im going to die..... or hope I do.  I have to exercise on a regular basis. I have to take a boatload of vitamins daily or deal with severe medical issues.  Im dealing with MAJOR head issues, seriously considering a therapist to help me work on these issues.  Yeah, let me know when the "easy" part kicks in please. 

Oh and I might add a little "kiss my ever shrinking a$$"         Cindy

I do believe when I've received those comments, it was because the other person had never been successful with losing weight themselves or keeping it off. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with us "taking the easy way out".  Like Cindy said - it really isn't easy.  I too have gone through all the issues she is/has/will be.  I didn't look at it as an imposition, but a way to LEARN how to eat properly. 

I was SO ready and embraced this surgery head on.  I didn't mourn food (well once, when I wished I could have a 2nd piece of pizza - but only for a second).  I wanted to lose this weight and keep it off.

We have someone here at work that has lost about 120 lbs on the Atkins diet.  She did it on her own.  Someone asked her which surgery SHE had - she was indignant they thought she did.  She's done this before.  I hope for her sake she keeps it off - she is a very sweet, deserving person.  She has given me nothing but support and encouragement with my weight loss and my decision to have surgery. 

So.  Yes, I think losing the weight with WLS for a tool was easier, even with all the "issues" we deal with.  It wasn't the easy way out as we struggle with maintenance, just like everyone else...

We all know it is not the easy way out.  However, someone posted this comment the other day and it made sense.  It was something like...bottom line is I'm losing weight, why do you care how I'm doing it? 

Great topic Gina! 

Starting at 249 in 2009, I wasn't so lightweight to begin with.  Easy way out?  For me, nothing about this has been easy. I have to exercise hours, count every calorie/carb and struggle to see each ounce drop off the scale reading.  Everyone that knows me face to face or online knows that I never have an easy time of it.  Nobody has said those words "easy way out" to me and I don't think anyone actually thinks it.   But I bet if I told my Weigh****chers group that I had surgery, they would indeed think that I'd taken the easy way out.

I'm so happy that I did this because I'd be way over 250 by this time and crying all the time.

I agree with Cindy, this has not been easy. 
No one has said that to me either, but I work an agency job and occasionally work with this gal who has lost 100# + with diet and exercise and HARD work.  She is a facebook "friend" of mine but she has made rude remarks about WLS.......I know because she thinks she has worked so much harder.  I have to admit she ticked me off.    But I am at my goal and the thinnest I have ever been in my life and what she is doing didn't work for me, I tried it 10,000 times.  So I don't think about what she said, my friends, family and support system are all VERY happy for me and I am happy for me to, but I could never say it's been easy!
Sandi

Thank you for posting this.  As a select few around me learn of my upcoming surgery, I am certain this will be thought, if not actually said.  Luckily, I have only received positive feedback so far, but it is good to know how others have dealt successfully with these sorts of comments.  

I have one friend who saw me 4 months after surgery, down about 70 pounds, and sought me out to find out how I'd done it. However, doofus prefaced it by saying that he wanted to do it "the real way," and to not take any "shortcuts."

I told him that might be a good choice for him at his age (he's just 30, has about 80 pounds to lose, and was open about bad choices), but for me, my surgery was "real" and about as much "short cut" as driving home rather than walking from the party. To give him credit, he was mortified about his faux pas. He has lost about 40 pounds through eating sensibly and exercising, and I cheer him on regularlarly.

I've also heard that my eldest sisters-in-law (one SMO and one MO) both make very judgmental comments about my surgery (neither has seen me since about 6 months pre-op) and that if God had wanted me to be thin, I would have already been thin. Given that I consider both of them to be idiots, I don't worry about them. If they ever say it to my face, I will add that if God had wanted them to be intelligent and compassionate, he would already have made them that way too.

Otherwise, everyone has been supportive to my face. People who ask how I got the courage to do it, I tell them honestly that I was desperate, and to consider my pre-op behaviors to be the bad example to avoid if you want a healthy, happy life.