Where's Rosa? Living her new life of intrigue...

hi rosa,

sounds like you've been havng a blast! i totally agree that dating is a great way to see the city (and not pay for it!). i dated for about a year before i met my current bf and had alot of interesting experiences, some good, some bad. one guy was a jazz musician and took me to his studio and plated for me; that was really cool.

like you, i was really good at the 1st date and always got asked out for a second date. it took me by surprise and i had to learn how to say no when i wasn't interested.

i know what you mean about the "fat girl" mentality. its hard to let something go thats been with you for so long. but "acting as if" works for me. i just continually reinforce positive thinking. and if i get a negative feeling about a guy, i trust it and move on.

as for disclosing your WLS, thats totally according to your comfort level. some people like to tell right away while others keep it to themselves. i'm in the middle. i told if and when i felt comfortable and thought there was a possiblity of seeing someone on a regular basis. lots of women have skimpy eating habits so i don't think guys think too much of it.

just use your judgment, always let someone know where you're going (i always gave the name and address of the place to my sister) and don't be too serious. and of course, enjoy!

You hit the nail right on the head, Chris.  The saying no is not so easy, especially if a guy seems great, but just not...right at the time, I guess.  

What's the best way to move on from people?  How do you say no without being, I don't know, mean?  

(And trust me, I know stringing someone along is more mean.  I'm just looking for strategies...)

saying no was difficult for me at first but its like you said, its WAY better than stringing someone along, for you and for him. i found that being direct was the best way. i would just say something like: "it was great meeting you but i just don't think we're a match. good luck with everything". i think people appreciate the honesty and it became easier the more times i said it.

definitely ckeck out the OH singles board. there are some lovely people there with great dating advice.

Hi Rosa!  I haven't posted for a while, guess I got busy over the holidays and now I am trying to reconnect with everyone!  Sounds like you have had so much fun going on all your dates!  I am so happy for you!  You are a beautiful girl, inside and out!  I know what you mean about still feeling like the fat girl.  I feel that way at times, but when I can wear a size 6 jeans I know I am not fat anymore, LOL.  When you meet the right guy you will want to tell him about your WLS because it is a big part of your life and you will want to share everything.  There is no hurry, you will know when the time is right.   
Have fun and keep us posted!
Sandi

What a great point, Sandi.  Wanting to tell a guy everything is the goal, one day.  I'm glad to remember that, thanks to you!

Way to go Rose! Have fun and dont worried about telling, just enjoy the moment.

Thanks, K!  That's exactly what I'll do.

Of course they are crazy about you!!  You are awesome and wonderful in every way (and gorgeous!!) and they recognize that right away!  Have fun and don't worry too much about not telling them...I don't think it is necessary until you are in a serious relationship.

Thanks, Kimberly!  I guess I'll figure out what constitutes a "serious relationship" later.  :)  I think I have plenty of time...

Have fun and be safe.  I've been married for 38 yrs so on-line dating is foreign to me but you are too good to sit home alone.