Telling friends and family

I told my hubby and daughters while I was going through the 6 month insurance program.  My DH worried about me the whole time and wasn't very supportive.  He was scared for me.  One DD was against it, 1 was strongly for it, and the other didn't say much at all. 

I had debated not telling my family but then I thought if something happened to me my family was going to need them and I didn't want there to be any conflicts because I didn't share with them.

I told my Mom, Brother, and Sister about 2 weeks before I was scheduled.  My Mom and Sister didn't say much but my Brother wasn't happy at all.  He even insisted on telling me about people that who knew who gained their weight back.  At the time that was upsetting but now I think of it has a driving force to make myself the success story that people can talk about.

Now I share with anyone who will listen...just mention you are fat or need to lose weight and I grab the opportunity to share.

Congratulations good wishes on your up coming surgery.  I chose not to tell very many people.  My sig. other and my two grown sons and a few close friends.  I did not tell my sisters who I would not anticipate non-judgemental support from.  And a couple of my friends I told decided to share it with others despite making my feelings on the subject clear.  Some people just cannot help themselves.

I do not regret NOT telling others about this, I can always share if I think it might help someone, but I knew I might very well regret it if I did tell more people.   Seems the older I get, the less I share in general and the better off and happier I've been.

This is about YOU, not anyone else.  Good luck!

In the beginning I only told a few people and they were people who had already had WLS prior. My hubby and my children and my closest friend. I really did not feel it was important for my sisters or even my father to know.
Of course 2 months after my surgery, I did end up telling them and they had nothing to say. Of course I did not give them any room to comment either.
I only see my father 1 time every other year and my sisters maybe 2 times a year. It was no biggie.

i told my hubby, my son, my boss, a coworker and very few others.  it was on a "need to know" basis and i'm so glad!  none of my siblings know!  just didn't want the negativity....and still don't!  its a very personal decision.....i'm just a private person and think its nobody's business.  after my weight loss was really noticable....if someone MO mentions it i'll tell them i had surgery but that's about it.

sending blessings your way!

I told DH when I decided to consider it; close family (parents, brother, one SIL); 2 of the 3 teams I work with once I decided to schedule it. I got a little bit of flack from my brother, but asked him to please provide details and contacts for the horror stories he mentioned, and he couldn't. So I provided him research info about the surgery, and he became very supportive.

After surgery, I got some of the horror story stuff again from people whom I told later. I finally reached the point of saying that I'd had metabolic issues that required surgery to correct, and that my weight loss was a side effect of that surgery that I could keep if I could keep my head out of my %^&% and continue eating correctly. This statement was worked out as being truthful without giving people the chance to make uninformed comments with my surgeon's office. When people then comment that it sounds like gastric bypass, I tell them that yes, it is like that, and leave it at that.

For people who want to know exactly how much I've lost, I searched OH for one of those weight equivalent lists, and would give them the info from that. "Oh, I've lost an Irish Setter and a hamster," or "I've lost a standard lawn roller." Again, it's the truth, but protects my privacy.

I've had a couple people come to me privately and ask if I had bypass, and if it would be good for them. Those people I will share my story with, but "good for them" is a medical decision that I shouldn't be part of.

I told and still tell everyone and anyone.  Prior to surgery, I told all my family.  I was surprised that they were all very supportive of me.  I told some friends and people at work.  After surgery, I tell anyone if they mention my weight loss.  I have never regretted telling anyone.  I do have a very close friend who was not on board because she had heard so many horror stories.  Today she is one of my best supporters.  Some commented that I didn't need to loose that much weight and when I tell them I've lost 116 pounds they usually don't say much more.

It is such a personal decision.  You know your family and how they will react.  If they were not supportive 4 years ago, I doubt they will be supportive now.  If I didn't want to tell anyone, I just wouldn't tell them.

Good luck.

Linda

After I attended the information seminar, did some research, and had my surgical consult, I told my brother, because I needed his support after surgery. He came through for me and supported me the entire way. I told people at work, on a need to know basis. I work very closely with a group of physicians and went to each of them separately to tell them what I was going to do and why I would be out for so long. They were supportive, asked questions, and a couple said that they hadn't considered me a surgery eligible person (LOL), and a couple gave me a big hug. While I was out, one physician that I am fairly close to, called me a couple of times a week to check on me. When I hospitalized with complications for 2 weeks, I had 3 physicians call me on a daily basis, to check on how I was doing. It was the highlight of my day (LOL). I am very fortunate to work in a supportive environment. I told other co-workers that I was close to, and everyone was very, very supportive.

I did stay away from a couple of people who were negative about the entire thing.

If anyone asks, I'll be truthful and tell them what I did, but I don't offer the information. I love hearing how good I look. I also tell them that I am weighing and measuring my food, as well as working out. Most people don't want to work that hard.

Whom you decide to tell, is a very personal and private decision, but I found that I received more support than I ever imagined.

I would love to come out and tell everyone. But with my family they are really hard to talk to. My parents I know 100% they would support me but they passed away about 3 years ago. My dad was the glue that held us all together. My brother and sister wouldn't support me. I told my husband right off that I wanted to do it. He wasn't to supportive at first but after a while he is now looking in to information for me as well. I did tell a really good friend of mine but she is like a volt and never says nothing to no one. My in laws they will never know. They make these small comments about my weight to me all the time. If they found out it would just be worse....

Thank you all for responding back to me. It really does help. All in all my support group is ALL of you wonderful people. My husband 2 REALLY good friends and  my 12 year old son has been my biggest supporter :) He was asking me questions one night because he over heard my husband and I talking. He got really upset because I didn't tell him...He is 12 but going on 23!

Thanks again....God Bless

I am a "closest" sleever, and will remain to be forever! My husband and mom are the only 2 that know, even my children who are 10 and 14 do not know, Only because I won't make them have to be put into a position to lie, or keep things from others.We just changed into a good/healthy eating family since my surgery, which has been good for all of us!  I have had my reasons since day 1, as you have read on here so many people, so many different views....it has  to be right for you. I have had lots of ups and downs with family and friends over my weight, I would of had a 100 times MORE, if they all knew...either way, it has to be right for you and your family. Either way, you will have ups and downs...I have found out who is really my friend and those who are not....even if they would know about the WLS, I would have lost some, and probably even sooner...., what I have learned in the last year...it's not about anyone but me. I have learned to love me and not to worry or care what others think of me. (very hard, and very sad at times). But, in the end it's my health that counts for me and helping me to be strong for my family! Good luck!

 I have seriously told everyone… all my family, the girls who work for me, my clients… my dentist and all the front desk gals, my ob lol hhaa I have a big mouth. Most people who I can tell don't like the idea of it cant really say much cause its not their business they just kind of say oh. Most people are super excited and ask a ton of questions. its helped me come  to terms with my upcoming surgery
:)