Telling friends and family

Did you tell your friends and family you were doing/thinking about WLS? Of course my husband knows. But I REALLY don't want to tell my brother and sister's. We don't see each other often. Maybe 3-4 times a year. So really I think I could get away with I was working out lol..But gosh I don't know. They aren't very supportive at times. When I was thinking about doing this 4 years ago and told them. They put it down BIG times. Both my sisters are over weight and are VERY unhappy with there bodies. I'm hoping that maybe if after I have my WLS they will look into and get healthy!

What is your take on this issue? Did you ever tell people then regret telling them?

Thanks again...God Bless

I only told those who needed to know before hand. My mother took care of the rest of the family. lol 

No, I wouldn't tell anyone negative about WLS at this point. You need positive and supportive input right now.

--gina

I told my adult daughter, sister, hubby of course, and staff.  A few friends.  Everyone was very supportive and held off on the horror stories until after my surgery.  My sister was concerned about me being in the hospital and exposed to all the germs but she came on board quickly and came to help care for me when I came out of the hospital.  I think part of the reason everyone was supportive is that I was convienced it was going to happen and be a positive experience.  No one wanted to refute that.  If you do tell them, have your mind made up and be so positive they can't blow you away. 

I am 2 1/2 months out. I told my sister, mom, husband and kids but didn't tell my brothers until afterward. I also told a few clients and now that my weight loss is becoming more obvious (There are still people who don't notice.) I tell ONLY on a "need to know basis". Which isn't very often. I no longer care what people think, but also don't think I need to make it known unless I deem fit. I will actually say that too.

There is an added benefit to having this surgery that I didn't realize beforehand, and that is the confidence and justification I have gained in myself. I have been known to say, "I only tell people who I think will benefit knowing... the others don't need to hear my life story."

Good question April!  I'll tell anyone who asks, I told everyone that I knew I was having it.  BUT I'm an open book about my life.  I fell for the "I worked out" line several times only to find out the person had WLS years down the road.  Then I was like WTH.....now I know why it didn't work for me!  I see WLS as a gift every MO person should have!.......LOL  More times than not a MO person is unable to take the weight off on thier own and KEEP it off without surgical intervention.  Even now when I am doing a CT scan on a patient who is MO and I offer them a hand up I may be put into a position where I can share my story and success.  I mean really ........I AM a walking billboard for the benefits of WLS.  I often get comments along the lines of  "ohh your so skinny you wouldn't know what I mean"....imagine the shock and surprise when I say "actually I do!  I had WLS and lost 100lbs!,  I know EXACTLY what you mean!"  Then the wows come out and then the questions.......I take every opportunity to educate people......even the people who are negative nellys who think just because I'm thin I'm gonna bash on a MO person......they don't know that it hurts......even now.  You get to here what people actually thought of YOU......anyhoooo.......blah blah.....blaaaaaaaaah.....LOL

I say scream it from the rooftops!   Let's educate the world!  WLS will never be a widely accepted WL tool if we don't show them what it's done for us!

 I told NOONE  . Im so  glad i didnt  20 months post op.   My family  never would  have given me ANY credit or stopped putting me down or embarassing me  /humiliating me with the fact ofthe surgery in  front  of others .  

I DONT Think  knowledge of this surgery belongs i n the workplace  or  in an unsupportive home  environment .    I DONT   think  friends should know either .

Get Ur support  on here  and then get on with Ur life ... 

If I could go back I would not tell anyone.  I told a few close friends and a few family members.  Three people betrayed my trust by telling others.   My relationships have forever changed with these people and I will no longer trust them.

You can always tell people later but once its out you can't take it back.

Good luck.

This is a great question, and you can see the varied responses.

I had a bad experience with a strange pre-WLS and it just floored me.  I was in a "smoothie" place where the WLS support group recommended because they had low sugar drinks and protein there.  so I thought I'd check it out.  The lady there said "oh, you're going to have RNY huh?  I can get the weight off you WITHOUT surgery".. Then she went on to say she's lost 75 lbs - I said "yea, but I want to KEEP it off", and she said "yea, I hope I can"....

The only people I told was my husband (at the time), kids and sister.  I told my mom only 2 days beforehand because I knew she wasn't gonig to be supportive, and she still isn't to this day, which doesn't bother me.  She's thrown it in my face a few times "I didn't approve of you doing that".. oh well...I told her I didn't need her permission or approval..  oh, BTW, she's not heavy either.

It has leaked out here at work and I don't hide it.  I'm to the point now that you can't argue with success.  I've also found out there are several people here who have had it, one RNY and one lap band.  Its nice to talk to them about different issues once in awhile.  If someone wants to argue it with me, they'd better have their facts straight.

My advice?  DON'T tell your brothers and sisters.  It will get to them eventually, but by then your self confidence and knowledge will be tremendous and you can dodge any negativity they want to dish out.

Congrats on your upcoming surgery.  We are here to support you!

I kind of regret telling people because half of the people want to know how much I weigh 'exactly.' And the other half constantly tell me of what a bad idea it was, monitering what and how much i'm eating, telling me how i'm "too skinny" (uhh i'm closer on the bmi chart to obese than I am normal range lol) and how i'll have a life time of problems ...including my grandma who told me before surgery that I would die...and not in a concerning way, but in a hateful way! So if your skeptic about telling people then maybe don't, it might make it easier on yourself :)

I didn't tell anyone while I did my research and went to the seminar, not even my mom or husband. I didn't want anyone to influence my decision one way or the other. When I decided to go for it, I was very open and told everyone. Now, I don't tell anyone unless I feel that they would benefit from surgery. I work really hard and am very strict with my eating, WLS alone would not have given me the results I have acheived. People tend to think WLS is a magic cure and that is how I lost all of my weight, and it is definitely not. I tell people how I eat and work out.